Do you pay for your shit fees? You know…the not so Indah Water sewerage fees? Today, I received a lawyer letter on the notice of paying up our shit fees amounting to over RM500+. I asked the accountant hubby what he is going to do about it. He said, I will pay lah, when the government took over. So, I don’t know if he is going to do that or not. Who cares about shit fees, huh? At most, you will see on the news “Blogger detained for shitting but not paying sewage fee.”

We were the dysfunctional family who had their dinner and talk about shits like these. So, my children asked us what is Indahwater and why we should pay them. That means, I must launched into discussion on the origin of the tahi until it is processed and sent back to the eco-system.

That’s when my #3 son asked what will happen when we burnt shit? I told him in some poor countries, they do use cow dungs to make homes and use as fire. What you call arang? But I told him, cow dungs have lots of grass fibres so it is useful as it is strong. He said, “…but human shits don’t have fibre, what. So, what do you think happen when you burnt it?”

That’s the sad thing about me. I have to deal with kids like that and challenged with their ‘smart’ questions. Like my #2 son who suddenly had the enlightenment that if you pray to a milk jug, and you so happened to get what you were praying for, you will also treat the milk jug like Jesus. So I asked him, “Did you ask the milk jug or Jesus to help you with your bike test this morning?” He failed his first test ‘cos he claimed the bike was cacat and jerk so he put his foot down (which made him fail). I told him my mother had a saying, “People who do not know how to dance, claim the dance floor is not even.” This morning, he took the second time and passed. He said, Jesus with his milk jug helps him.

Now that he could ride a bike anywhere, he found the roads in Penang full of potholes. He complained about how bad the road and its potholes are. And my ‘smarter’ #1 son said, “If there are no potholes (from the sewage tank openings), then the road will be full of shits floating around.” I told them they will make very good politicians because they have good excuses for everything.

So, what do you do with your Indahwater’s bills? You better pay before they force you to berak di jamban and get them cleared by the night soil carriers. I tell you, the bucket there is enough to give you mental trauma. That’s why I have phobia of public toilets.