Over these past few weeks, senior people like me, ahem, are talking about Sukuk and all those so-called investments thingie. People at my age and those who are older than me usually would have some savings for the kids’ education and our old age. So, those of you who are younger, you may not be interested in this issue but read on….’cos you may learn ‘how not to get fark without realising’.

Our EPF returns used to be 8% per annum, once a upon a time. Then, shit hits the fan and it tumbled down and spiralling underground. So, we can no longer rely on our EPF to save us from going to sleep on the streets when we are old. We have to have some investments.

Buying landed properties in Penang is almost impossible for us (who don’t deal with drugs, gamble with horses, who are pimps or cronies) now because a decent landed home, semi-D only is above RM500K. Buying unit trusts, investing in gold, foreign currencies have their risks as well. So, whether we like it or not, we ended up holding the our piggy bank money in fixed deposit accounts.

But as you know….the interest rates went dipping so low, we may as well use the money as our pillows and maybe mattresses (if we exchange RM1 notes and stack it nicely).

Then along come the 1Malaysian dream…..Hari hari you see the paper telling us our PM is putting forward an investor friendly government. And I say….yeah right……if that is call investor friendly, then, your favourite 5xmom is as noble as Mother Teresa.

In The Star, our dear, beloved, honourable Prime Minister and his beautiful wife were standing there with a bunch of mak ciks who look so happy with this so-called investing. Invest my kar’ch’ng lah! That is what you know? That is forcing us poor rakyats to have no other choice than to put our money into this giant pig bank and then, let THEIR 1Malaysia dream takes off. While we get farked with measly 5% returns.

You may say I am ungrateful but hor, you try to calculate, how much more can we earn with this 5%? And you go calculate how many billions of rakyat money are now in the hands of errrmm…I am not saying.

Therefore, don’t fool us with the rosy picture of people investing. We are merely grasping to the best returns, no matter how bad it is, because we have no other avenues.

(P/S : Don’t any unit trusts, bonds, personal financial investment folks try to sell me anything ‘cos my husband is a finance man, ok? Please take your briefcase and go play far-far.)

People, please hand me some extra strong clorox to wash my mouth because it tastes rotten to describe something above.