Usually….I will take the side gates and avoid the greetings and thank yous. But today, instead of saying ‘Thank you, Father for an enlightening homily, God bless’ like how I usually say to rare priests when they really have something different to share, I said, “YOU KICKASS!!!”
I totally forgot to remind myself to wake up this morning and almost missed mass. It was already 9.20 am but it took me only 10 minutes to shower and change. Rushing down to the car park, I was wondering if my lipstick is too bright now because I have turned 3 shades darker….I wonder if I should have worn a blue jeans instead of a black one because I look like I am going to a funeral, with a white shirt.
Then, a voice in my head (or is it my heart) asked, “Are you doing this for Jesus or for the people?” And I am jolted back to the ground. I have been fighting with this issue over the weekend. I hate the big farce we are living in. A huge, gleaming, majestic building meant to house poor children is standing there while outside on the road, children are sleeping in trishaws, under the mercies of the weather. (it is not the fault of the big building, but the system we live in) The big building and the opposing sight of the street children hit me, wrangle me, mock me, laugh at me, how naive I am, how ignorant I am and more.
If I have lesser guts, not exposed as I was or not as sensible as I am, I will probably die of pain from looking at the injustice, the sufferings and not being able to do anything to it. But thank God, I didn’t do too bad. When I saw that sight, I immediately got home, wrote another appeal letter to the DCM2, giving him all the details his welfare officers may need. IC numbers, details I picked up from the family, sordid stuffs I heard from the other trishaw riders and etc.
Of course, my human side also prayed that none of the lice (kutu) had jumped into my hair when the little girl hugged me.
Eewwss…I don’t want to shave my head bald. Now if my scalp just itch a bit, I am freaking out. But truth is, they have lice, lots of it. I can see it on their heads. My bottle of Johnson baby shampoo given to the girls won’t kill their lice….I am afraid. See? I am afraid of getting myself dirty. I am human after all. (yea, the girl told me they are getting treatment for the lice infestation but….)
Back to today’s homily, Father Fab put it in a nice, funny way how fantastic if we can just build a relationship with Jesus and me, me and Jesus. Away from all the dirt. Away from all the social injustice. Just pray at home and in church, tralalalalala…..But that’s not the essence of our faith. Unless we go out, go down and get working, God’s kingdom is nothing but a big farce.
And today, Father Fabian sums up exactly what I feel these few days. That’s why I told the priest, “You kickass today!” and he probably felt the lengthy homily he delivered today has reached at least one starfish. I like the story of the starfish.