Today, during our saiko class, Fr Huan reminded us about something. We are now into the stage where people grow old and go die. It means my course is almost complete. Yay!

So, we were discussing about leaving the baggages behind before we die. Since Fr Huan was using Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s theories on dealing with dying, death and bereavement, I cannot help but ‘show off’ a bit that I had read most of her books. Sombre as it is, there was this one time when Prof. Lucy of UMMC gave me one of her book on how to deal with people who just lost loved ones (to help me deal with the death of my son, also to encourage me to write a book for Asians). Then, I got intrigued and bought several books of hers from Payless Bookstore.

Some were asking how they can get those relatives of theirs who are dying to come to terms with their misgivings, angers, feelings of being short-changed and etc so that they can die peacefully. I blurted out that though well-meaning these intentions, these are usually the wrong way to get our dying relatives to deal with their deaths.

When I was volunteering in pastoral care, I found that the dying person usually will not open up with their relatives and loved ones about their fears, worries, angers, guilts and etc so as not to inflict further pains on them as they were already worried about the death. Usually, these patients talk best with strangers who are neutral. Most times, all they want is to just tell someone about something and they feel better.

So, what are some of the baggages? Have you ever meet people who carry a lot of such baggages?

  • Some of them are people who love to put the blame on others on their own shortcomings.
  • Some are those who harbour a lot of hate on others, backstabbing and doing all those spiteful things. After all these things pile up, they do not know where to begin to ask for forgiveness.
  • Some of those who cannot see beyond their crosses, i.e. if they had been unfortunate, they cannot get over it, move on but instead keep wallowing in the same cycle.
  • Some are those who had been so holy-moly for the wrong reasons. Like doing all the charity works and etc and then, keep blaming their divine that the divine didn’t reward them but instead give them terminal disease.
  • Fr Huan reminded us, all of you who are in your midlife, i.e. anything after 40 yrs old, you all better start to live life meaningfully so that you don’t have so much baggages to drop before dying. What more if we are Christians and didn’t not allow the Lord to help us seek forgiveness and to make amends to our own anger, spiteful behavior and etc.

    Me? I don’t mind dying any time, no problem one.