Maybe it is a little bit selfish.
Maybe it is a little bit of God’s bigger plan.
Maybe it is good for me.
Maybe it is good for everybody.

Whatever it is, I am glad that I don’t need to spend the rest of my life watching the kids grow up and whatever life I have in me slowly dissipated. Then, I will probably be a very grouchy, old lady one day.

So, there was one point where I made a lot of money from blogging. Right now, the amount has fallen somewhat but then, I am still doing ok, better than most managers’ salaries.

After all that ‘Whee! I am making five digit per month’ adrenalin rush was over, I went into doing volunteering job. Then, I don’t have the luxury of time to do a regular visit-hospital, pastoral care volunteering work anymore. So, I meddled with this thing call citizen journalism.

Surprisingly, it takes me to a lot of places I wouldn’t have venture in my cosy little world. Pastoral care duties still come in play though I am not at the cancer hospital anymore. I just got the green light (yes, Erina/Lawrence, at 11 pm they called!) to help a shelter home to get some publicity. I am praying hard to enter a contest and win RM100K for the home (and RM20K for myself).

Also, tomorrow morning (i.e. Friday morning, like right now when you are reading this post), I am going to SXI to film Brother Paul’s farewell. The Sisters are going as well so I feel so ‘Catholicky’ having the honour of being there to witness and film this memorable event. Our video filming sifu came to help us.

In the afternoon, we are going to film a shelter home. In the evening, we are filming a candlelight vigil.

So, where does the weaning off mothering come in? I am going to KL for a long period of time next month for advanced training. Seven days is a long time for me because I have never left my kids for more than four/five days when I was in the hospital beranak-ing. That too, they still get to visit. This one, I am totally on my own. I feel very excited getting back to the adults world. Those of you who works probably find it trivial. Those of you who are very committed to your kids probably find it selfish of me to run off like that. (of course, I have to make proper arrangements lah). But I find it part of the bigger plan. And I will definitely enjoy the respite of not worrying about who has eaten, who hasn’t, what to cook for dinner, where to shop tonight and mundane stuffs like that.

Thanks for all the comments and sorry I never get to sit down long enough to answer all of them. *Lilian goes down on her knees to understand the bigger plan*

P/S : This is to comfort myself post. Long ago, when I first stopped working, my sister-in-law (hubby’s bro’s wife) tried to comfort me. She said, “Next time when your son enters Std. One, you can try making kuehs and sell and make money lor…Don’t worry lah..when the children grow up, you can work again, selling cakes or things like that.” Fuyoh, can you imagine how frightening the prospect of being a kueh aunty is to an ex-executive sexytary? It is like suicidal mannnnn….thank God, praise the Lord I don’t need to sell kueh for a living now. Even if I do, I will probably franchise it and collect royalties. LOL