Ish, this post was supposed to go up last night (Friday night) but it didn’t….

These are just random stuffs…

1) I have a formation (formation is like seminar, you know we Catholics lah, we use all the kolot terms like fellowship for makan-makan, formation for seminar etc) tomorrow from 9-5pm. I am not sure how I am going to survive 8 hours of no laptop, Facebook, Malaysiakini.tv (I like to check if my video is up), no email and no life. Of course, I can still surf using my mobile phone but people will think I am SMS-ing. And SMS-ing when the priest is talking is utterly rude and bad behaviour. Yeah, that’s what we tell our teens so I have to stick to no SMS. Yerrr…how to tahan 8 hours like that?

2) I am supposed to print a list of names but my printer rosak-ed. Now, I will have to improvise by writing them down. Sienz.

3) I went for adoration of the Blessed Sacrament this morning. I am not sure how to explain but it is like a sacred moment with Jesus Christ. It is like Jesus is there, all available for me, kinda moment. So, I went to our chapel after I dropped my son at kindie. The main intention is to pray for The Herald to win in it’s favour. (of something lah) And I sat there for about 30-40 minutes pondering over things.

4) And I slowly unravel things that have been happening around us. It is not politics or people in authority or leadership or whatever that brings so much injustice, sufferings and etc. I think it is all about the black and white, dark and light, evil and goodness. Whether you believe in God or not, I guess you believe there is good and bad in everything.

5) Our lives have been clouded with all these yin-yang and usually, the dark side tends to dominate. But I suppose if we continue having faith that truth, goodness, justice, democracy will prevail, it will. See? My mind even work on so many issues when I am supposed to sit there in the silent chapel and pray for The Herald. But come on, how long does it take for me to say, “Oh Lord…..bla bla The Herald yadda yadda yadda wins bla bla, amen”? Just 30 seconds. But to really be in communication with the Divine (whoever or however you see your own divine), I guess we need to sit and do nothing and just let the thoughts flow.

6) The circumstances how TBH died bothers me because I know somehow, he may ends up like Kugan’s case. Unsolved, unknown, unending. I interviewed MP Liew Chin Tong just now and I only came home and found out that I ter-silap picit butang and I didn’t recorded that part. I suppose it is the divine that I shouldn’t have that clip because who knows, I could get into trouble for saying it out loud. I ask MP Liew what he thinks will happen to the case. (my intention is to gauge how serious is DAP is fighting for justice and transparency)

7) Over this last week, I somehow feel so orientated into citizen journallism and especially video journalism. Two of the more active videographers, both young Malay men, are very accepting of my presence. I love it when they give me tips on where to stand, which direction to run and how to get better framing of my video. The best is they watched my videos on Malaysiakini.tv and they like what I produced. One of them can sembang rojak with me. He asked me if I am interested to cover a mosque that desperately need a bigger and better building. Why not? Somemore, he is so chummy, when he wanted to have a puff at the staircase outside the CM’s office, he asked me, “Jom? nak?” And offered me ciggies. I was like, “Hoi, hang ingat aku siapa?” Still, it is nice to have familiar faces when I go out to do video journalism.

8) My son was just grumbling how our system sucks. School sucks, law sucks, everything sucks (am trying to avoid naming all those sensitive organisations). He said there is no future in this country anymore. And I told him, “That’s why your mader is doing all these videos. Otherwise, it will get deeper into the pits.” I just returned from the candle light vigil at that time.

9) Talking about vigils and protests, I am so thankful that the police in Penang is so cooperative and allowed the people to gather and honour Teoh Beng Hock. Tonight vigil was an hour long and though there are presence of police, they just stay on the sideline. After two reminders, they still have patience because the crowd was reluctant to leave as everyone is chatting. When I watched the KL protest where 7 were detained, I was like, “OMG…dahsyat dan ganasnyerrr” No wonder my KL counterparts/editor kept reminding me to stay out of trouble and cabut at the first sniff of it.

10) Now, I wonder how I am going to juggle 9-5 pm of formation and find time to take a breather and go to catechism class at 4.30 pm which lasts till 5.45 pm and then, I also want to go for some photo shooting at Bon Odori at 6 pm…..Hmmm…Never mind, I am the super 5xmom.

One thought on “Urgggh….

  1. Let me affirm you that what you are doing is something good and noble. Thanks for all your effort and time to make those videos to keep us all updated.

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