1. Kindergarten teacher
I will never have the energy, vibrancy, patience, sunny disposition around a bunch of kids. Oh my God, thank you for kindergarten teachers. They can sing, dance, jump, run, play, laugh with so much joy and glee early in the morning.
Given to me, I will probably, “Shaddap already, can’t you kids see I haven’t had my coffee yet? Go sit down and keep quiet or else I tape your mouth with duct tape. And you can’t peel it off because if you do, your lips and your cheek’s skin are going to come out as well. So, keep quiet and get off my face!”
A gynae is an expert in women’s problem. An obstetrician is one who delivers babies. Usually, we have ob-gynae, two-in-one doctors here. I can stand the ob part because I get to receive humans who have just arrived into the world. Such a magnanimous job, isn’t it?
But not a gynae. Imagine sitting down at the stool and staring into other women’s vaginas all day long! I have never even seen mine at that angle, what more other women. Lots of other women. Puke! I better stop imagining before I throw up my breakfast of char been hoon.
I don’t need to explain, do I?
4. Ball carrier aka politician who is not quite up there
Spare me! The monkey acts they do in the name of publicity. I won’t go into details or else someone is going to know I am talking about him. Damn, can move out of the frame ah? I don’t want your face in my video lah, yerrrrrrr.
5. Press photographer
I still wonder how press photographers can shoot the same (sometime ugly) faces everyday and they never get tired. The other day, during one of the big shot meets his people session, these photographers were asking big shot to sit down so they can take his pikchures….lotsa pikchures…So, I blabbered, “Hey, why are you guys taking Mr. Big’s photo? You all take his photo everyday already mahhh. Mr. Big, go stand there and take with your people lah.” Hahaha, that sentence just popped out of my mouth because it is ridiculous mah, right? So, Mr. Big told me, “Liliannnn….*he keeps smiling his fake smile* when a photographer asked you to do something *continue with fake smile*, you can never say no wannn.*head not moving, lips smiling while talking*” And yet, he stood up and moved to his people.
Ahhh…the fantastic lies they spin. Oh I am pretty good at spinning lies too but I think I will get “telling lies burnout” after a couple of months. I will be so good at it, I cannot even say a single truth.
I can’t figure out why it is so important to balance the balance sheet. So what if one cent is missing or even, so what is a few hundred thousands are missing? Sheessh…..Why must waste so much resources and time to find that one single missing cent.
8. I can’t think of any other.