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Preoccupation with doing good

This is weekend rantings, so shaddap if you got nothing good to say, ok? But if you really must leave a comment and got nothing good to say, just say the photos are nice lah.

First, I am terribly sienz because my Sony earphone that costs me over RM100+ has become a one-sided earphone. I really love that ear plugs because it cuts out the outside noises and all I hear are music and songs that play on my MP3 or laptop or iMac. I probably had accidentally tugged on it too hard, some wires inside are disconnected. I can work better, whether blogging for money, change my php codes or do video editing or crapping shits when I am totally cut off from the outside world. Now, I have to listen with another earphones which is not quite the same.

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Now, into religious stuffs…… Sensitive, ok?

Not sure why but lately, I am so disconnected with the institution. Actually, I was never really part of the ‘great mighty institution’ because I simply lived in the wrong postcode. But never mind, I still try my best to do what I can offer and I enjoy being part of the almighty institution. However, lately, I found everything so boring, so mundane and so stiffling. Faith to me is a very vibrant, exciting and an ‘all-action’ thing. I have to be out there doing something, helping someone and sacrificing self/time/money/energy and etc.

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Today, I attended some class and we are asked the question, “Who am I?” I have plenty of answers but none of mine fit into the almighty institution’s people. They said they are the children of God, Jesus’s follower, made in the image of God and yadda yadda yadda bla bla bla….I never see myself in that privileged position because I know when I see myself in that image, I will be a darn pompous, egoistic, holy-moly, self-righteous, friggin painful person to live with. I see myself as one of those Samaritan women who lived in the dusty, dirty, messy world where things are chaotic but…….. yes, there is always a but…not singled out by God.

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I see myself as one of the many, many lucky people whom, despite of all the shortcomings, are very much protected and loved by that big, divine being who somehow didn’t allow a single one of His creations get sidelined. Each day, I counted how lucky I am with all that I have.

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Back to my class, the ‘teacher’ told us many people are too preoccupied with doing good, and of not doing any sins and I totally agree. I am getting tired of my ‘institution’ lately because there seems to be so many rules, laws, books, numbers, hierarchy to follow, I am wondering if I am studying to be a lawyer or just to be a Christian. People do not like to get involved. People are not willing to go the extra mile for people they considered not worth their time. People are always making sure that what they do is right in the eyes of the ‘big almighty institution’.

I am really fed-up. Fed up when I hear people reminding me not to get too involved in political stuffs and politicians because they are ‘best left to the men’. They asked me if I could potentially get into trouble with my videos. They asked me why do I bother to spend so much time over at some village for ‘those people’. Why don’t I pray more for God’s intervention. I was like, “What the hell? Was Jesus sitting at home, combing his beard in the Bible?”

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I don’t know lah….I am just plain tired with the earthly stuffs that I am supposed to know and follow. All I want is to believe there is God and that God is often challenging me, with a glint in His eyes and a wicked grin on His mouth and says, ‘Go on, do what your heart tells you. Have faith in Me and I won’t ever let you get into deep shits.’ The kind of fun, daring, radical, humorous, compassionate yet wicked image of my God. I am just so, so, so tired of being part of the institution.

**sigh….I shouldn’t have written the above. It doesn’t look good on me, whining about my own religion. But what the heck, that’s how I feel and I am going to publish it. I love God and Jesus, but not the institution where I am supposed to attend dutifully. Just like Gandhi said, “I love your Christ but not your Christians”




24 Responses to “Preoccupation with doing good”

  1. The Serenity Prayer

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    Living one day at a time;
    Enjoying one moment at a time;
    Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
    Taking, as He did, this sinful world
    as it is, not as I would have it;
    Trusting that He will make all things right
    if I surrender to His Will;
    That I may be reasonably happy in this life
    and supremely happy with Him
    Forever in the next.
    Amen.

  2. The photos are nice lah.

  3. OMG ! mid life crisis ?
    Don’t get me wrong, i’m in early 30s,but have been experiencing sudden hot flushes, no mood in dressing up (used to care very much about my appearance), mood swing (became very emotional suddenly)!
    Must be the ajinomoto after so many years.

  4. Cin – What crap are you talking about? I already said so in my opening line, don’t say anything unless you have something good to say. I am talking about my religion and I don’t need try-to-be-funny responses.

  5. Terence – I know. I only use my D40 kit lens. Well, even with just a D40 kit lens, not like someone hor, buy D3 and then, no pic to show one?

  6. REAL OBNOXIOUS!!!
    bEEN FOLLOWING YOUR BLOG FOR SOME TIMES, EVEN RECOMMENDED IT TO NOT A FEW,WHY THE BURST ?
    AFRAID TO ADMIT THAT YOU ARE PRE MENO ?
    YOUR COMMAND FAR TERROR FROM ISA, “ SPEAK OF MY GOODS ONLY,IF NOT YOU ARE DOOOOOMED”
    You lived a sheltered life !!

  7. pity your children

  8. Luv the picture.

  9. Hey Lilian, not going to crap here. Christianity is not a religion but a relationship. It’s all about HIM not about us. When we are too much into the “works”, like sort of trying to earn merit, then we are no different with other religion. I’m all for the good works but not till as of what I’ve mention above. I love your heart for the oppressed and the weak. It is encouraging to see you going here and there to be the “voice” for this people. Jesus walk the talk. Ok I don’t know what I’m saying here as this ungodly hour in the morning. haha. cheers!

  10. cin – ooooOOO….iLikey! This is the kind of response that my other readers love to see and what I hope to generate with each blog post. Love the OBNOXIOUS in capital letters. Go on, keep cursing.

  11. Cin- Why the bold letters?!? You are being sensitive. Blog owner just wrote ‘What crap are you talking about’? And we were warned not to talk cock. You should know her ‘style’ by now. And by pulling her children into this, you are low, real low. God have mercy on you.

    Liulian – Nothing to do with my D3 lah. Read your own 1st paragraph. I actually had nothing nice to say lah. LOL. niamah! BTW I always have nothing nice to say. wtf!!

  12. Oh, shall I copy and paste a prayer/poetry below??? wtf!!

  13. Terence – Have mercy on Cin lah. They all whole day nothing to do, read my blog too long, think they have proprietorship over me. So, when I talk yehsou, they think ajinomoto joke very funny lor. KNN, you say lah, what has ajinomoto gotta do with yehsou talk, right? I kena that all the time. Bored housewives living through my blog and when I spin a bit out of their cosy life, they say my blog too much politics lah, like Malaysiakini lah, leave the politics to the men lah….maciam-maciam ada….

  14. They told him “Don’t you ever come around here
    Don’t wanna see your face, you better disappear”
    The fire’s in their eyes and their words are really clear
    So beat it, just beat it

    You better run, you better do what you can
    Don’t wanna see no blood, don’t be a macho man
    You wanna be tough, better do what you can
    So beat it, but you wanna be bad

    Just beat it, beat it,
    No one wants to be defeated
    Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight
    It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right
    Just beat it, beat it
    Just beat it, beat it
    Just beat it. beat it
    Just beat it, beat it

    They’re out to get you, better leave while you can
    Don’t wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man
    You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
    So beat it, just beat it

    You have to show them that you’re really not scared
    You’re playin’ with your life, this ain’t no truth or dare
    They’ll kick you, then they beat you,
    Then they’ll tell you it’s fair
    So beat it, but you wanna be bad

    Just beat it, beat it,
    No one wants to be defeated
    Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight
    It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

    Just beat it, beat it,
    No one wants to be defeated
    Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight
    It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

    Just beat it, beat it, beat it
    Beat it, beat it, beat it
    Beat it, beat it, beat it
    Beat it, beat it, beat it
    Beat it, beat it, beat it

    Beat it, beat it,
    No one wants to be defeated
    Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight
    It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

    Just beat it, beat it,
    No one wants to be defeated
    Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight
    It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

    Just beat it, beat it,
    No one wants to be defeated
    Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight
    It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

    Just beat it, beat it,
    No one wants to be defeated
    Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight
    It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

    Just beat it, beat it

    Bwahahahahaha!!! *SAKIT PERUT* Sue me lah!!!

  15. Yee Heee……..!!!!! *Grasping crouch*

  16. Nice pictures!

  17. hey come on la..give Cin a break. He did nothing wrong. Blogs are written for the whole world to see and comments are there to comment abt the blog. Simple as that. But when ppl expect only good comments, well then the blog is no different than gov and opposition blogs which moderates any negative comment abt them.

    Cin did nothing wrong. Its obvious. I also dont see the point of the outburst. I been following this blog since months ago. Its cool and..well just cool! But lilian, i dont care if u wana marah me or wat. Here’s my 2 cents from one of ur avid readers. Just be cool with people comments. No matter negative or positive. Thats the point of comments in blogs. If people cant take criticism on their blogs, well…dont enable comments then.

    cao..i know u gona fry me..go ahead…its JUST MY POINT OF VIEW…cin did nothing wrong…

  18. but what he said about ur children is uncalled for….

  19. KL so hot-lar, cannot think…

  20. riz – Penang also so hot-lar, ingat nak pergi Pulau Aman makan mee udang, naik bot. Tapi matahari terik, malas pulak. You pernah pergi tak?

  21. christianity might not be about “doing good”, but doing good doesn’t make you any less christian, OR similar to “other religions”. just because lilian blogs frequently about her CJ works doesn’t mean that she doesn’t pray to God every night to keep “those ppl” safe and well. does she need to blog out her daily prayers for you to read???

    James 1: 22-25
    Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

    James 2: 14-18
    What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds. “Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.

  22. lilian… i just wanted to say that it’s not easy doing what you do…going out and about to highlight the ugly issues the rest of us prefer not to know about. yes we all say we want to do something good, but how many of us actually put ourselves out there and do it?
    so kudos to you lilian!

  23. Lilian- I have been to Pulau Aman once only long time ago. I have family there. We (ramai-ramai) walked around the Island along this path until cannot walk. e came back and bought out the Fisermans boat’s worth of Crab and Udang. A gunny sack full I think. Steamed them at home just like that. Shrup shrup shrup the shrimp and crab shells. but this was that one time long ago… Bring lot’s sun block.

  24. sounds like a burn-out…take a break!