You know…nowadays with the availability of video cameras and digital cameras, finding prostitutes is probably tougher. Long time ago, when I was all 17 years old and innocent, I used to follow the troupe of jewelers to Hatyai on one of those company paid trips.

When these young men hit the hotel, they would each get a couple of pros and had a good time there. When I say ‘a couple’ it means two girls to one Ah Beng. It wasn’t a big deal to a seventeen years old girl, really. A bunch of us girls will of course hit the market and buy fake Charles Jourdan bags. Anyway, we, the clerks never really bothered about those bunch of Ah Bengs because they were basically skilled jewelers with very foul mouths. Our eyes were on the accountants, managers and people in ‘the other category’. The kind who didn’t venture into pros dens. (or so I thought)

Of course, that was the view of the innocent world of a seventeen years old. Now, I am not so sure anymore. So, I was dangling my camera on my neck, very much like a necklace in Hatyai yesterday. And I whispered to the almost seventeen years old son (his birthday coming, on the 28th, don’t tell anymore, he said)……”Eh, you think hor, if I start to shoot all the old men with their ‘kay’ (aka chicken aka unflaterring name for the service worker) and then, I go back and post all these photos, what will happen ah?”

Anyway, the hotel I stay wasn’t such a bad one and it costs RM198 for a family room (though we paid much lower cos we booked from the border town in Malaysia). It wasn’t sleazy chicken den so I didn’t manage to bump into old men with two kays. And these old men probably were too busy trying to ‘get it up’ in their rooms so I cannot find them in public places too.

Moreover, I think business isn’t that good nowadays because the Malaysian men can easily find China bicycles here in our own state. No need to sit car for three hours, go through the hassle of customs and immgration just to have a screw. By that time, they probably need double doses of viagra. Isn’t Malaysia great? We import everything, including prostitutes. Russians, Chinese, Cambodians, Vietnameses…..We have it all here. Cuti-cuti Malaysia…

Now, I have no problems with women who chose the path to be sex workers. They probably need the money so badly, they had to do it. (cos I am trying to be politically correct here mahhhh) But I do have problems with those men who are chronic apong sin. (apong – the CB lah, sin – god lah, aka one who worships the CB LOL) I know some who think it is their godly right to splurge on having some quick screws just because they think they have earned enough for the ‘woman at home’. They will make pilgrimage to places like those with their buddies, have a good screw, compare notes, share stats and boast about it. They will talk about women like they are pieces of meats. I have met plenty of these men. It was part of my secretary duties to arrange for prostitutes, you know? And just because I was the one who made the phone calls to Mummy Helen, they think I approved of their after-sale activities and told me what they did. Phtooi!

Damn….if I am one of the ‘woman at home’, I will probably find the most toxic poison known to man and slowly kill off the kkc first. Then, in the meantime, I will also transfer all properties and money to my name (or my kids). Then…I slowly wait for the kkc to die off, and then, leave him as soon as all money is transferred to me. Even if I have to be shaven bald and become a nun, I would. Oh..the sheer joy of seeing a man’s cucumber being transformed into a pickle, penisless, penniless and money-less….Then, see if he can roam some more or not.

The moral of the story is, never trust a cat in a land full of fishes. Buy a leash and rope the cat.

P/S : My definition of ‘old man’ is any man who is married and have kids.