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Things they never tell you before you become mommy

It was about 5 pm and I told my little boy I need a nap. He knows how not to make too much noises or call me unnecessary (like asking me to see his Farmville plants growing etc).

By about 5.30 pm, I was deep asleep. You know how difficult it is to wake up when you have just fell asleep. The head is heavy, you sort of lost track of time and place and you have difficulties opening the eyes.

He whispered, “Mommy…I got pangsai….”

I muttered, “Ooooooorrrrr….kayy…..you buk-buk yourself, then, you take a shower, ok?”

I went back to deep nap again.

This time, it is not whisper but louder, “Mom……take tissue and dig my sai….”

Me, “HUH, what?”

He replied from the attached bathroom, “Papa did that before. You go take tissue and pull my sai out.”

Like it or not, deep sleep or not, can wake up or not…I had to struggle out of bed and go find some tissue papers.

Pull a bunch and was about to get down to do the dirty job.

Being the lazy mom, I tried to bluff my way out.

“You see lah, you are not drinking enough water, now you constipated. Now I go take a glass of water for you. You drink that and sure the water flush out the sai.” See? Smart mom, right?

I’d rather walk to the kitchen and get him a glass of water than to pull sai.

So, I gave him a few sips and hope my bluff can trick him.

He sat there grinning. I told him to push harder. He is not used to get constipated so our friend here doesn’t know how to forcibly push the rock out.

“Mommy….the sai don’t want to come out. Do like papa lah….”

Haih…..like it or not, I kena did the unthinkable lor. And as I had said before, a kid shit can be as fat and long as an adult. And poor me had to endure it. Because I am a mom, and moms don’t get to negotiate her way out of dirty chores like this.

Once, I got rid of the plug, the whole thing came out smooth like banana. And after so many hours, my throat still feel the puke. Cos a kid’s pile smells just as bad.

Haih….




9 Responses to “Things they never tell you before you become mommy”

  1. serious shit? no joke. need to pull arr? fuck…

  2. Shit brick ah??? Hahaha! You made my morning!

    Seriously, this mummy never had to pull shit before so don’t know la. But once had to use the enema bulb-looking thingy. It’s fast and easy.

  3. Ya ..the last time Miya constipated, that was about three years ago ..I always resorted to Dulcolax ….. you are so brave ….!!!

  4. Yucky…. Wiping is already a tough job for me. Digging… forget about it. hahaha.. I am so blessed.

  5. now u hav taken the meaning of obnoxiousness to a whole new level… congratulations!!

  6. Try eating small banana. The small banana type. Not the big big one , those got air..it works for me.

  7. Lilian…
    U SERIOUS ARHH?
    i never heard of pulling sai out before using hand. You are such a great Mommy!!

  8. lol!!! this is really an experience worth sharing!! haha

  9. Gee i’ve never heard of pulling shit out for someone else. Next time try downing 2 glass of water each morning b4 he brushes his teeth, sure works.