Things they never tell you before you become mommy

It was about 5 pm and I told my little boy I need a nap. He knows how not to make too much noises or call me unnecessary (like asking me to see his Farmville plants growing etc).

By about 5.30 pm, I was deep asleep. You know how difficult it is to wake up when you have just fell asleep. The head is heavy, you sort of lost track of time and place and you have difficulties opening the eyes.

He whispered, “Mommy…I got pangsai….”

I muttered, “Ooooooorrrrr….kayy…..you buk-buk yourself, then, you take a shower, ok?”

I went back to deep nap again.

This time, it is not whisper but louder, “Mom……take tissue and dig my sai….”

Me, “HUH, what?”

He replied from the attached bathroom, “Papa did that before. You go take tissue and pull my sai out.”

Like it or not, deep sleep or not, can wake up or not…I had to struggle out of bed and go find some tissue papers.

Pull a bunch and was about to get down to do the dirty job.

Being the lazy mom, I tried to bluff my way out.

“You see lah, you are not drinking enough water, now you constipated. Now I go take a glass of water for you. You drink that and sure the water flush out the sai.” See? Smart mom, right?

I’d rather walk to the kitchen and get him a glass of water than to pull sai.

So, I gave him a few sips and hope my bluff can trick him.

He sat there grinning. I told him to push harder. He is not used to get constipated so our friend here doesn’t know how to forcibly push the rock out.

“Mommy….the sai don’t want to come out. Do like papa lah….”

Haih…..like it or not, I kena did the unthinkable lor. And as I had said before, a kid shit can be as fat and long as an adult. And poor me had to endure it. Because I am a mom, and moms don’t get to negotiate her way out of dirty chores like this.

Once, I got rid of the plug, the whole thing came out smooth like banana. And after so many hours, my throat still feel the puke. Cos a kid’s pile smells just as bad.

Haih….