When coffee keeps me awake

I drank a large cup of ying yong Hongkie coffee + tea at almost 10 pm and now the brew is keeping me awake.

So, I got plenty of time to crap because I have finished all my advertorial and things to do.


On Mederka (damn how do I spell Merdeka?) day, I was ambitious enough to want to find teens to interview. We went to the Ecofun park and I took my video and tripod along. I am lousy with interviewing strangers because I hate walking up to people and begged for interview.

Chey…I am the 5xmom. People come to me to be interviewed, not I go beg, you know? *use thumb to flick nose while chew on toothpick* I asked several young adults and no one dared to talk to the camera! I even sembang with a group of mat rempits from Kedah, with their nice bikes and nice hairdo. We enjoyed our conversations. Usually, the sad thing is poverty or the lack of money drove them to do crazy stunts.


This girl selling jagung is sooo pretty. I am not sure she is Malay or what but she is pretty. Sometimes, I wonder why some of these really pretty girls did not make use of their beauty while those fugly ones go parading around like they are so pretty likedat. Hmmm… If I am born so pretty, I will probably spend time to hook a rich man, get married, get properties and then, recycle, reuse and so on. See? That’s why God made me not so pretty or else to many recycling and reuse haram wei.


I am kind of sad that our country has such a great divide. The Chinese kids cannot speak Hokkien wor. I thought they are from other states but no, from Bukit Mertajam. I asked them can speak English. Cannot. BM? Cannot. Tiu, what kind of Penangites lah? How can they don’t know how to speak Hokkien but only Mandarin? So, I lazy go sembang with kids who cannot speak Hokkien, BM or English but only Mandarin. Thinks we live in China meh?


I ended up with no ‘Visi Mederka’ video because you know what? None of the teens give a shit to Mederka. They don’t care, don’t know. I hope somehow, someone will start to give them a sense of belonging. Many of them are disconnected.

The Malays stick to the Malays. The Chinese cloistered together. The Indians huddled together. They do not see they are Malaysians.


Our sense of patriotism has dissipated. On Mederka’s eve, I attended Sunday mass. It is customary for us to sing Negaraku and I always felt so in awe when I reached the Tuhan kurniakan…As a videographer, I still pause and stand in full attention during Negaraku if the state event plays it. It is the right thing to do. Forget about holding tripod or shooting, it is just a few minutes of paying homage to our beloved country.

But many of the people in church were standing with their arms folded, their arms behind their backs, their hands on the pew and etc. I was silently cursing, “HOI, stand in attention lah. Hands by the side, head straight. Small time teacher never teach you meh?”


My little boy at least gave me a decent answer when I asked him ‘What is Mederka?’ He said, Flagsss..lotss of flagsss…..We bought him the flag in the first photo for the answer. But of course, he wanted the flag not because he is aware of the significance of the Malaysia flag. He is just amused with the changing lights of the flag stick.


Still, I can’t get over how our school children are so much divided into their races. At least my sons still have friends from other races and not just cloistered into their Mandarin speaking friends (not that they speak Mandarin LOL). I think I must bring this issue to my #1 fan. No, I mean my #1 idol. Hehehe.

It is scary to think that we will one day be so distant from each other eventhough we are all Malaysians. Then, where are we going to find so many pig heads, cow heads, (eh, what’s offensive to Chinese ah?) to parade around leh?

9 thoughts on “When coffee keeps me awake

  1. Merdeka has always meant sitting infront of the tv n later go catch some tadpoles fr the longkang…. tht’s Merdeka to me anyway.
    patriotism? what is tht? funny how the older I get, the more I see the world, the less patriotic I feel. why?

    i wil stand in attention n give the Negaraku its respect bcoz it’s ‘a’ national anthem.

  2. Sigh. How la to feel patriotic Lilian? With all this shit going around us? I call it “Merda-ka”. Google it šŸ˜›

    I am abroad, proud to be Msian, but getting so jaded trying to explain to people whats going on in our country. Having no answers for them when they question me about justice and fairness and equality in M’sia.

    How liddat?

  3. Chinese not afraid of any heads. Afraid not enough money only or maybe his wife/gf doesn’t give head. LOL

    The races do not mix together now becos of the ‘poison’ injected into them, especially the Malays. To them the other races are haram. Correct me if I am wrong.

    When i was younger, when we play football in the evening, there are Ahmad(s), Ah Chong(s) and Ramasamy(s). No haram, no racisms n no color coded. Malays were refered to as MELAYU, Chinese as CINA or CINAPEK and Indians as KELINGS or INDIA.

    Call an Indian KELING now n you get those ‘righteous’ groups/political parties chasing your ass. But I still call my childhood Indian friends KELING.

    Patriotism to me is not about how many bloody flags you fly. To me, being a Malaysian is when you are proud to tell a foreigner in their own country that you are from Malaysia and not from China (In my case). And to also defend your country if ever it is threatened and go to war.

    But there are politicians who tell us Malaysian Chinese to balik China wor. wtf!!!

  4. To apa nama, what do you mean “especially the malays”. Please dont spew all the bullshit here by putting the blame solely on the Malays. You are contradicting yourself by calling the malays racist when you yourself are racist by calling the Malays racist.

    Please dont put the blame only on the Malays for whats going on in our country right now. You yourself know why the reason vernacular schools are still running? So ask yourself before spewing racist bullshit over here by saying “to them all race are haram”. WTF?! I live in berapit and majority are chinese and i dont find them haram!

  5. Yes it is sad that teens nowadays do not care much about nationalism. I would think not just in Malaysia, in Singapore too and other countries. So no surprise. I think its should be the combined effort from the family and government etc….

    This is my first time here, I like your intro of yourself, and your son is cute and good looking. šŸ™‚

  6. incidentally, we were discussing bout wat heads to offend the chinese race as well.
    i’m chinese btw.

    and guess what a friend answered? probably the 12 heads of the astrology/zodiac animals? šŸ™‚

  7. “Sometimes, I wonder why some of these really pretty girls did not make use of their beauty while those fugly ones go parading around like they are so pretty likedat.”

    Hahaha totally agree! I wonder why too. Maybe they are beautiful inside too that they don’t realize how beautiful they are outside? Unlike the opposites…

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