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You need religion, not wonder bra

The things women do….

I went to dye and cut my hair today. As usual, hair dyeing will take 45 minutes for the colour and chemical to seep into my brain to give me brain cancer. That means 45 minutes of torture sitting down and waiting. First, I was surfing with my mobile phone but the battery died. Next, I flipped through several women’s magazines. (btw, I dye my hair bcos it makes the hair less oily and I don’t need to wash my hair everyday)

After a while, I have nothing to do so I eavesdrop.

So, there was this auntie around mid fifties. My hairdresser and her assistant were both pulling and tugging auntie’s bra straps because she said the bra doesn’t give her enough lift.

You see, my hairdresser sells some women undergarments which cost a bomb. Lucky she never peddles to me. But then, she knows I am not the talkative type and will not buy her ideas.

These are not just any type of underwears but those corsets type like those Victorian women wears. And you can buy with Maybank credit card and pay in six installments. Fulamak, what kind of expensive underwears are those lah?

Back to the bra and boobs, the hairdresser’s assistant then showed to auntie how to get valley. Niamah eh, like that also can? From my mirror, I could see the action going on at the back.

“See see, first you must bend forward a bit. Then, let the nen-nen come to the front. Then hor, you pull the cups higher, then, pull the strap. Like this, your nen-nen will look bigger.”

Of course, all the above were said in Hokkien, which made it double vulgar.

Tiu lor, in another 10 years time, when I am 55 years old, I don’t think I will even remember if my boobs exist. Cos hor, I don’t want to suddenly faint one day and people thinks it is due to hypertension or a heart attack. Then, when people try to rescue me, they found I was actually choking and strangling myself to death with a set of corset that needs to be paid in six installments using my Maybank credit card.

Seriously…what’s with women nowadays? Is exterior beauty and shall I say sexiness really that important? Come on, at over 50s? Still need to have valleys and hills? I just don’t get it.

Then again, I think those Chinese magazines are to be blamed. While I was thumbing through the magazines, I notice many of the Mandarin magazines love to feature those ugly photos of supposedly beautiful actresses. There was one with Ling Ching Hsia and Karina Lau with their wrinkles nd flabs. Those magazines have loads of Botox, breast enhancements, double eye-lids, slimming, etc advertisements.

And I believe all these poor women sort of buy into the idea of remaining young and beautiful. So, they don’t mind going through the troubles. Like trying to stuff two small prunes to make them look like ripe melons?

Sigh…it is easy for me to talk cock, I think. But if one day the insecurities creep in, I hope I don’t succumb to pay in six installments for a set of corset and a wonder bra.

I guess I won’t. Not when I have such a tomboy attitude. Who cares about breasts and valleys when you don’t need to use them to get up the corporate ladder or provide human milk, right? Then, they serve no purposes, right?

Oh, about my title and the religion part. I forgot why I use the title already.




23 Responses to “You need religion, not wonder bra”

  1. I thought it’s a brain, not religion? LoL…

  2. Auntie is afraid of stepping on her own breasts if she doesn’t wear that corset.

  3. I hate them, they are overpriced. I think it cost more than RM1K for a piece of bra… I know because some of my aunties in their late 40’s wear them, even my mum bought them, but I didn’t see her wearing. Those wonder bra are supposed to be worn everyday and has to be washed by hand with their special soap… What a waste of money!! I will definite not sacrificing my freedom of moving around and breathing on those wonder bra/corsett… oh well.. may be not yet..?

  4. Did you notice anything about that auntie’s feet or not? Surely not properly clean one leh…because with big big nen nen, she can never get her feet wet under a shower la…lol!

  5. Kalau pengsan, in that super tight corset, I don’t think CPR can be done also.

  6. mama22beas – Ya, the A of the ABC of CPR already failed. I cannot imagine why women will torture themselves like that lah. Imagine the heat in our country, plus the sweat.

    9pek9bo – Hahaha, but the case is no nen-nen wanna fake it.

    Linda – Really? RM1K for one bra? Crazy man……My husband is lucky I am not a sucker for these stuffs or else he sure pokkai big time. Plus what if the wife flaunt the valleys for all men? OMG, I cannot imagine LOL. Cos if you have the valleys, tak kan you want to show to other women, kan?

    Mik – No nen-nen, how to step on it. LOL.

    Bryan – I lost the plot. My original title and my original intention was something else but as I crap, I forget how I thought of the word religion in the first place.

  7. Just lately, one of my lady frens, in her mid 50s bought a “wonder corset” from a japanese direct sale company…how much? RM6/- over!!! … dare to buy…. and it is all for the love of a man.. a man who had gone astray and hoping he will come back… and if he does, is it due to the wonder corset? sigh…

  8. Lilian, my advise to you is just stick to wonderful video reporting you have done for Malaysiakini. A blog post like “You need religion, not wonder bra” is just too embarrasing even for someone to read.

  9. When I am free, I will write a post about men with small dicks who like to use big names and patronise bloggers like me on what I should write. That includes you the idiot who nickname himself Najib.

    claire – WOW, RM6,000 for a corset????!!!???? That’s the sad thing lor, women think they are just a piece of meat for the men.

  10. Lilian today termakan salah ubat,don’t pray 2 with her,Najib.

  11. Wonderful reporting, very funny, Lilian!

  12. You are most welcome, Some Idiot who got no life who choose to spend his precious time posting comments on my blog using Najib and LGE’s nick.

    You never heard of IP tracking hor?

  13. Lilian, how do you know I have a small dick? Have you seen it first hand?

  14. Now that tokking kok… not nen-nen…

  15. Lilian, you may consider attending a night class in Journalism at USM. Your raw talent needs some polishing.

  16. zewt — check some blogs out… some 15 year olds with no nen nen also wanna push theyr boobs up already.

  17. Ya lor.. I pun tak faham what’s with the big boobs obssession. These people think it is like so fun to have big boobs.. will do anything to try and have and if cannot, fake it… Sigh.. big boobs very poor thing one ah!

    Always have to settle for ugly big bras that are big and hedious.. can get back ache, cannot run because it is painful to have to big lump of flesh bouncing infront… Sigh.. very “charm” one. I take small and cute ones anytime!

    Anyway, most of the time, it is not the boobs that is at fault la.. Women gotta realise that it is the brain… the BRAIN..

  18. Najib -Need to see meh?!!?? Already said IDIOTS have small dicks. You so IDIOT, you don’t seem to understand ar??? Wakakakaka!!!

  19. Aiyorr….your site take forever to load lar but luckily today I patient enough to wait and read the comments. LOL. It’s amazing how topics on nen nen can turn into LC! Eh, maybe he’s looking for something about ‘male enhancement’ n then found this post about wonder bra only so disappointed lor.
    on the corset/ wonder bra thingie…RM6k ah? Wah…like dis I also want to sell lah, got big profit ler.

  20. Foong – Crazy lah, that day I was at Coffee Bean and these two women were buying pots costing RM4K. RM4K! Niamah, I can buy a whole kitchen with that amount of money. But this saleswoman was conning the two silais with how easy it is to stir fry garlic kailan with the RM4K pot cum pan.

    Re the slow loading, I think it is the background lor. Boh pien, $$$eye$$$

    Limlaupeh – This idiot name Nabjib is prolly some Mau Cari Angpau ppl beh song I so pro-LGE gwa.

    Bunkimyew – NNTTL so ‘charm’ one ah? (NNTTL means nen nen tua tua liap just in case ppl dun understand Hokkien) Never get to experience that, dunno good or bad leh.

    zewt – Usually, they made half a cup and the sponge make the other half.

    The idiot name Najib – I don’t need to bcos I dowan to be a journalist. I like to stir shits, this one no class can teach wan.

    rizlan – My blog attracts the strangest creatures sometimes. Wutudo…I am so femes mah LOL

  21. lol… is fr LC, so this must be true. like tat also got

    ok, I am selling a super-turbo-tropedo underpants for men, ony RM3K, then buy 3 for the price of 4.

    i dun sell sabun and u no need to wash them, I wash them for you!!

  22. JT – ewww………….

  23. Apa Nama – Maybe JT is a pervert panty sniffer leh? Ewwww…..