Yes, I am ok. Already.

This is a follow-up of what I wrote yesterday evening. Actually, I cried so hard when I typed that. My little boy noticed as he sat beside me. He reads well and he read the part about the children and the father. He went downstairs and hunted for a packet of tissue paper for me, took one and stuffed it to my nose.

Later that night, some peeps chatted with me on MSN. I am not sure they did read what I wrote or probably they were not aware of my super emo moment. Whatever, I felt a lot better giving someone else some encouragement and asked him to turn to the Big Boss and he said Let go, let God. Another one made me laughed so hard, I forgot how rotten I felt when I wrote that post.

Then, earlier today, someone called me from far away….and he asked me to do some write up. Things somehow flow when I talk to him. And I suggested writing about the cancer hospital and also the old folks home. I had been meaning to do the citizen journalism fellowship program based on these two homes plus an orphanage and disable persons home. But as usual, the coward in me dare not approach the nuns because they will probably go, “HUH, what citizen journalist?”

But now, I have legitimate reason to do it because the one who asked me to write is connected to our Catholic church. So, I have two reasons to make one coverage. Praise God for the timely reminder from the person from ‘far away’. I can spend days if I have to, just to get a good story, good photo and good video.

24 hours after I posted what I did last evening, I sat here and re-read it. I watched the video, listened to the comforting music and heck, I picked up my phone and called her.

Yes, I did! Yes, I am ok! Yes, I am going to spend my Deepavali with her and her children. I am going to give her what G had passed to me. G, sorry I didn’t give the gift you passed through J to me to the girls because I have some reservations in my gut feelings. So, I kept it till now. I shall pass it as an angpow to the two boys’ mom.

About the conversation, she is happy to hear from me and she sounded very cheerful. I told her I have been thinking a lot about her, the children and S. And I feel so happy now. Thank you, Lord for allowing me to dare to be vulnerable. If I had not pour out those feelings, I will probably continue feeling rotten and yet, not able to do something about it.

Now, I can put in my best to get the stories, from the angle of the Catholic church and citizen journalism and pray that it will make people better understand how they can contribute to make the lives of the old folks, cancer patients, orphans and etc better. You will be surprised what a little gesture from you, and by that I don’t mean money, can make a person’s day brighter.