Sigh..once again…self-hood lost
Posted on November 12th, 2009 by Lilian • Filed under: Family
I actually prepared my son like several weeks ago when I heard about Malaysiakini 10th anniversary dinner. It clashed with his graduation concert.
I asked him again two days ago.
This time, the cheeky monkey replied so spontaneously when I put my question like this:
Can I go to Malaysiakini dinner?
He replied so promptly, “You love Malaysiakini more or love me more ah?”
He has watched far too many sitcoms which he shouldn’t be watching. He can retorts like those kids in My Wife and Kids or even Friends. Such is the peril of having much older brothers. They pick up really fast from the much older brothers.
This afternoon, I took him to Gurney Plaza to hunt for a pair of shoes because he has outgrown his Ben 10 pair. We are going to my niece’s wedding at KL Tower/Sheraton next week and the kid is so excited about wearing his suit. The suit is from Kamdar and sold for only RM42.90. It comes with pinstripe jacket and pants. Really nice cutting and material.
The suit is meant for his school concert. I cannot figure out how Prophet Daniel story fits into his school play. I had seen the practices and they have Star Wars music.
On one hand, I am terribly proud my son is taking a big part in the acting. On the other, I am cursing silently because I cannot simply declare ponteng day from now on. On Monday, I had wanted to ponteng. I slept till 9.30 am and the phone rang. The teacher called and asked if I am on my way. Without my son, the other kids have problems practising their skit. Sigh…like it or not, I had to drag myself and him to kindie. Bad mommy!
So, while at Gurney today, we passed by the games shop. I showed him the 8GB PSP memory card and being the typical bad mommy, asked him if it is ok if I skip his concert in return for an additional 8GB card loaded with more games. Moreover, his papa can have him all to himself. See? I am so generous, no?
And the kid is ever ready to sell his mother off for a 8GB memory card that costs less than RM100. Sigh…My friend joked that if I am ready to be sent to Glory Home (an old folks home), then by all means go to Malaysiakini and abandon my kid and his much awaited concert.
Because of that, I am now not going to Malaysiakini gala dinner eventhough I am one of the selected few who gets a free seat. Damn….can you imagine all the guests disappointment that CJ Chan Lilian is not there to sign autographs? They will be so sad, no? Maybe Steven Gan wants to get a video streaming where I can greet every guests? *laughs till teeth fall off* You know….like those Grammy awards or Oscar awards where the stars cannot be there? Kekekekeke. “Hell-O everyone, I am CJ Chan Lilian from Penang, I hope everyone is having an enjoyable time and I know how disappointed you are because I am not there with you in person.”
Anyway, this is one of those things that we moms have to forego, I guess. The concert does not mean that much to my kid and whether I go or not, he will probably not remember by the time he is older. My older sons who tried to prick my conscience earlier when I said I am not attending the concert cannot answer when I asked them, “Well….do you remember whether I was there at your concert?” All they remembered are how they had to be forced to put on make-up.
Anyway, I don’t think I can face the other moms and my son’s teachers if I have to tell them I didn’t attend my son’s graduation concert simply because I want to be part of the adult world where people produce news. I am going to be very grumpy on 28 November (which is also my #3 son’s 13th birthday) because I had to put myself second, as usual.
I hate this. I want to go. I want to go because I know my videos have made an impression on a lot of people. Uthayakumar knows who I am. Elizabeth Wong knows me by my video. And I want to find out who else had watched CJ Chan Lilian videos. But….I am a mom. *sniff* Sacrifices. I hope they are worth it.
*proceeds to reply that I am not attending* But…who knows? Maybe some Datuk demanded I am there and send his private jet to fly me to the venue leh? And put me in one of the RM50,000K per table seat leh? You think Sim TK knows me or not ah? Or OTK? Or KTK? Aiyar, I have to keep dreaming because only LKS and LGE were interviewed by me. They got no private jet one.