I shouldn’t be sneaking around and reading people’s inner thoughts published on the www. But then, when I stumbled on some freaky things, I cannot keep quiet either.
One mother was terribly disappointed that her two very young children are not keeping up with their peers. She is sad that the kids are not able to read and write like the rest of their peers.
So, there are some mothers who consoled her and some agreed with her about feeling disappointed. And there is a few who said they felt they had wasted their career and not ‘achieving’ anything.
Therefore, ladies, I got to rant a bit lah. Remember lah, our kids are not our ‘achievement trophy’ ok? If you are going to stop working and waste your life in batik nightdress and teaching Montessori to your kids, it is your own fault, your own responsibility and no one is going to thank you for it.
Don’t be foolish to think that just because you are a full time mother, your kids are going to reward you by being the best student in class. Kids are not for us to shape like that. Some are smarter, some are just so-so. What matters are they are happy and we are happy.
It is scary that women think that they can play the martyr by leaving a career and mould that kid into a star so that they can share the limelight with them. I bet a lot of poor kids have been pressured by kiasu mothers like those. And not to mention the many poor husbands who have to live with a grouchy, asking for recognition martyr wives.
Women, don’t be stupid lah. Don’t go and kill yourselves over your kids and your husbands. It is not worth it one. Just do it, i.e. leave your job and be at home, simply because you enjoy the freedom. Otherwise, you will probably ended up being an old hag with a super bitchy mood.
Me? I left my job because I couldn’t cope with three kids who had to be dropped at three different locations. I left my job because I was ready. I certainly did not leave my job because I was utterly in love being a housewife. My ex-colleagues didn’t believe I was going to be a housewife. My boss too told me I will never get used to it.
And yes, I never got used to it. I am still pretty much my own person. I never lose my own identity. I was never Mrs. so&so or Master so&so’s mom. I am me, myself, I.
If you are full time mother, you better find that self of yours back before you made life constipated for your kids, your husband and your in-laws.
The other day, my little boy was like the star of the evening because he won prizes and was the main star in the terribly long school play. Was I feeling soooo proud of him? Not really. It was his own achievement and I have no part in it. I never pressure or push him into anything, if he is good, he is just being good. I think we parents have to have that detachment or else, I tell you, your kids are going to hate you.
It’s your life, live it.