I was feeling a bit emo out of a sudden. So, I typed the below para on my tiny, little, itty-bitty Nokia N97 earlier. You have a certain limit, I think 420 characters, on Facebook. So, we usually keep our thoughts short, sharp and right to the point. Now, when I returned home and re-read what I type, I think I sound not so politically correct :
I want to cry ledi. For all the diaper changing, butt washing and night feeding plus engorged breasts, no mother ought to end up like tt unless she is unmarried, childless or outlived her children. So sad to see dejected faces like these.
Anyway, last night my little boy asked me about a picture we saw while eating lunch in Hatyai. There is a row of cartoon of a woman cradling her baby in her arms, next a boy, then, a bigger boy with a cup of water , this time carrying the boy on her back, another drawing of an even bigger son with book, depicting studying, then, a young man, all carried on her back. The picture shows her getting older and frailer. Finally, a drawing of her crouching on the ground, old, frail and weak while the man is now wearing a suit and standing tall.
I explained the meaning of the drawing to him. I said it is not physically carrying on the back but it means the mother must do all that for the baby in order to grow into a man, so it is still a burden, hence, carried on the back.
Last night, he recalled and said, “You know…that is the future, you know?” It was like he has a great revelation when he emphasised the ‘you know’ twice.
So, as usual, the blackmailing mom wants a shiok-sendiri moment asked the son, “So….next time…when you are the young man, are you going to drop me on the ground like that?” Of course, he is smart enough to tell me, “No lah, I will buy you things when I have money.”
I went to some event at some old folks home just now. I went in to the hall and I saw so many elderly folks sitting there, staring into space, waiting for the CM to arrive. I had been to another one before but this one is an even bigger old folks home so I have never seen so many old folks sitting together, staring blankly, face with no expression before.
Of course, they are all well cared for. The place is nice, very organised and they even have tiny huts for old couples. It is the kind of place I think I wouldn’t mind going. But ultimately, I think none of us should ever leave our parents there.
The few old ladies I spoke to are unmarried. So, that’s where I got my FB status from. I don’t mean to imply anything further.
The strange thing is I notice more Chinese are at the elderly folks home than other races. I believe Muslims do not abandon their parents because of their religious foundation. Indians (who are mostly Hindus) are usually very filial as well. Maybe it is time we Chinese look closely into this. Where did we go wrong?
Is it because Chinese have money so they take the easy way out of hiring an Indonesian maid to substitute? Or we lack the faith teachings to compel us into caring for our elderly folks?
I don’t know. I hope next time I fast fast die so I don’t have to spend time in an old folks home flirting with so many uncles. It can be tiring you know? Being single and having so many men to flirt with? What if I cannot even remember my own name or which block hostel I am staying in? How to flirt leh? Your place or mine? Ermm..I cannot remember where is my place.
One thought on “Hit it while it’s raw”
Hahahaha.. I like your last paragraph!
Anyway, I think Chinese are practical people. There is always 2 face to a coin..some say it is cruel and mean to leave their old and frail parents in old folks home, some say kind. It depends on which angle you are looking from.
I personally feel that there is nothing wrong with sending old and frail especially those that need a lot of care into a home BUT, one must make it a point to visit them often la.. every day if possible or every other day just to chit chat and make them happy. On weekends or long holidays, make it a point to bring old folks out of the home and stay with you a few days la. I can tell you, all these homes, they are more careful with your old folks if you visit often and make your present felt.
No point letting the old folks stay home with you but you cannot care for them, than they fall down or dont take their medication properly or worse still, thinking they are still capable, go do things that endanger themselves.. OR in some cases, old folks stay with children and kena scolded all the time by the caregiver or children out of frustration and tired and feel caged in..sigh.. this is worse right…
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