Let me see how I can say it loud without offending too many people……..Hmmm…
Come to think of it, I do love offending people, some of the time. Some people get offended easily and it is fun to see how much I need to do before they explode. Sort of like playing with firecracker. You hold the burning joss-stick near the firecracker and you push and push hoping for the firecracker to light up and then, KABOOM!
You then get a nice feeling of satisfaction…
So, what about the full cup? I am not talking about bras and half cups/full cups. Nor am I talking about the half empty, half full…
I am talking about faith. Lately, a trip ‘there’ is like going to school. It is all about what St Paul did, that saint did, this saint did, St John said….I tend to switch off and the mind starts wandering. I can’t get the heart feelings. I can’t get the oomph feelings.
Right now, I am pretty cool with life. No one is dying before my eyes like when I was volunteering at Mt. Miriam. I don’t need any godly things to cheer me up because I am really happy overall. Everything makes sense to me so I don’t need to find a priest to help me sort out my thoughts.
Today, the cantors sang this song. Suddenly, I remember that one time when a priest actually attended a vigil because I asked him if he is going. He went after dinner, in his shorts! And there was this song and we sang together.
He has inspired a lot of people. That includes me. His homily is not like the others. He talks about things we can relate. He doesn’t give us too much fluff. He challenged us. He doesn’t talk about saints but talked about sinners. He talked about Sigmund Freud. He talked about stuffs from Khalil Gibran. He talked about The Shadows…
He asked us to go to the deeper end. Otherwise, we are just adoring fans of Jesus Christ. And lately, I see a lot of fans of Jesus Christ. The ambassadors of Jesus Christ. I guess the Lord didn’t ask us to be His ambassadors. He asked us to carry His cross.
And I am getting this freaky feelings I am going to a MLM meeting instead of being in touch with God. You know what MLM meetings are like, right? Everyone have that cheerful, bursting with pride, spring in their steps, all gungho to wish one another type? Maybe it is just me. Or maybe we have been too comfortable.
I am so so so sick of people asking me to part with my money over a building. I am so sick, I want to smash whatever is pushed to my face on their faces. There is this guy who kept asking me to buy an item and give it to Lim Guan Eng. What lah, he thinks I am a kaki bodek meh? So many times he asked me, buy lah, give it to the VIPs. Come on, if you know that I run all over the place to film stuffs including churches and VIPs, have you ever thought of inviting me to cover as a journalist at that dinner? Hmm….? No! Yet they have the nerve to ask me to pay with my own money for some overpriced item to give to VIPs.
In case people misunderstand, I am not hankering for free dinners. I could have done a nice video on the message they wanted to project through the dinner but did they remember to ask me? No…Yet, when they want money from me, they do remember who I am.
There are so many fat cats, who are so full of themselves and their beliefs that they are God’s most loved ones because they worked the hardest. It is damn freaky, you know? It is like, whoever raise the most money, is the most loved ones.
For example, during the Kampung Buah Pala problems, I tried telling a few that we can, as Catholics provide support for some of the villagers who are Catholics who belong to our church. They are not regulars. Did anyone listen to me? No…all they do is to repeat what they read from The Star to me. I tried to tell them I went to the village and there are Catholics whom may need some moral support. Do they hear? No….
A lot of Christians have their cups full. That’s when God can’t find a place to settle down. I always love the Christian teaching of ‘God is strongest when we are weakest’. All I see around me are people who are so full of themselves. Sigh…gimme a few beggars and broken people and I will see God there. Otherwise, the rest are just adoring fans.
I know my fav priest will tell me, it is good when you start getting restless and start questioning.