**This is a flashback post of my old blog. The below was written on December 28, 2004 after the tsunami happened in Penang. Companies were clamouring to donate money and we saw giant, mock-up cheques every day back then. Frankly, I love my blog from the early days when I believe no one reads. Now, I cannot even freaking say something before someone constipated tok kok. Niamah, where have my freedom of speech gone?**

Have you guys been watching the local news? Do you know how many ‘overnight’ celebrities are on TV? Giving out giant cheques. I am not talking about giant amount of money but giant size, styrofoam, cardboards given out by these suave looking big guns in huge corporations? Oh puhleez, the cheque amount is only a meagre RM10,000. I can bet that these suave looking guys are adorning watches, suits, shoes, rings which easily cost RM3,000-RM5,000. What’s RM10,000? I have been having personal dislikes of giant cheques because I found them vulgar, obsence. Why? Because most times, these guys/mak datins would be dripping with jewelleries, wearing a ‘bangga/kembang’ (proud as peacock) smiles on their faces, enjoying the limelight/spotlight/highlight and probably in their heart, hoping that they receive the Light too. (I mean God will be beaming upstairs at their generousity, hence, pouring even more blessings on them to buy more Rolexs, Cartiers, LVs, Ferrari, Porsche etc .) But what they forget is the fact that people whom are supposed to be receiving the monies are suffering in agonies. They have forgotten to feel for the victims whom they are donating. Of course, there are many, many, many kind and generous individuals out there who really are sincere and ikhlas. And I know some of these executives caught in the act of giving out giant cheques are merely doing their job.

Like me – once I was caught in this idiotic act too. I was a sexy-turkey (secretary la) and therefore, have the first-hand, hands-me-down stuffs, from the big boss. Big boss is a generous guy who donates to every societies, big and small, political parties, both ruling and opposition. One day, he gave me these tickets to watch Beauty and The Beast. Free tickets mah, who doesn’t wan? And there I went with my two kids in tow. Yikes, the moment I stepped into the cinema, holding these huge card of a ticket, I was greeted like some Mak Datin. People pinned flower on me, ushering me to the best seats, calling me Miss……, bowing and bending. OMG, I did not bargain for this. All I want is popcorn, coke and movie.

Next came the white haired MPPP council head, sitting with me. More OMGs, how am I going to enjoy Beauty and The Beast, sitting next to him (whom has quite a garang reputation once a upon a time). How to feel the romance of Beauty and The Beast sitting with an apek who never stopped talking politics and I was trying to tranquilize my kids to behave and all that jazz? But that’s not the end of it. I was asked to go up to the stage and given a golden scissors, standing there like a fool with some other ‘generous’ individuals to cut ribbons before the start of the movie. And I got the middle/prime spot, boss was the biggest donor mah. Dang! I wasn’t groom in secretary course for this, man. What am I going to do? Do I cut at the count of 3? Do I hold the ribbon, cut it and let it fall, what do I do with the scissors etc etc.

I am someone who enjoy being on stage but standing there with a row of apeks in borrowed batik shirts and ah sohs (hey, I was ONLY in my late twenties then, ok?) , holding a golden scissors, cutting ribbon really freaked me out. And the worse is, I can’t speak Mandarin and the whole event was in Mandarin. From that day on, I swear never to take anymore ‘hands-me-down’ from my boss. Not even a round the world trip ticket because I am not cut out to be someone who enjoys showing off my clout/money/power/whatever for the world to see like that.