I have a duty like the trinity today. Three sons, three completely different requirements, all need the same attention. Ping piang ping piang, to and fro. The brain never stops thinking, answering. The physical body never stop running, driving, moving.

All is going good, thank God.

#5 son is due for his DPT injection plus polio drops. It was supposed to be carried out last month. But last month, he has to get his MMR booster jab which should have been done when he was 5 years old. But I forgot.

At the hospital this morning, the kid got me to repeatedly explained what are the 6-in-1 jab.
Diptheria – Some infection in yr throat where you cannot breath and die
Pertusis – Cough until die (whooping cough I think)
Tetanus – Some infection when you get a cut and turned ‘hard’ and die (kancing gigi)
Polio – Some fever which makes your limbs stopped growing so you become cacat
Hep B – Some infection in your liver
Mumps – Big swelling in the neck and face and can also infect your ball-ball if you are a boy
Measles – Red spots infection, also can die
Rubella – German measles and if pregnant woman get it, the baby can die

Phew…so I had to on and on explained it to him. And that’s not all, he asked me to test him. *roll eyes* So, mom and son stood there outside the paediatrician clinic talking about die, die, die. Poor patients waiting must be squirming in their seats with the word die.

But well, it is not a forbidden word to us.

If you think explaining childhood illness to a child is stressful, you also have to know that I have another role.

Another son is attempting to bake a difficult cake at home. Of all the cakes, he wanted a lemon, poppy seed, sugee, almond cake with sugar & lemon frosting plus lemon syrup ala Jamie Oliver.

Every few minutes, a phone call comes in. “Why you substitute 50 gm ground almonds with sugee?” Next call, “Why the sugee one lump?” Another call “Why the butter & egg separated? What to do?” One more, “Why my cake still so pale?”

Remember that I have to answer questions on cake to childhood illness, all at the same time.

That’s not all. I also have to rush to fetch #1 son whose bike is in the workshop. Phew…

When I got home, finally, I thought I can rot and not think anymore. Tiring you know…answering kids’ questions.

Then, when I was happily sitting down, enjoying stirring shits online, I heard my little boy rushing upstairs.

He came in pale faced, bang shut the door and locked it.

I have never seen any of my kids in that kind of frightened state.

“MOM!!! A snake run in!”

I know he sees tiny beetles as menacing killer bees. But what can possibly makes him to see snake?

I hugged him and he cling on with so much fears you can feel him shivering

He insisted he saw a snake.

I looked down and can’t see a thing. I asked the #1 son to go down. I also scared snake lah. But my excuse is I must take care my boy mah.

So, I continued soothing him, reminding him not to be so scared because Jesus will protect him one…..

All that while, I quickly give him a tiny cross on the forehead. (drawing a cross while I say a little prayer)

Then, what do you think happened next?

I went downstairs, to the dining area level. It is higher than the living room.

And I did see a head with tongue slithering…

I screamed to #1 son, WOW, it is big!!!!

Then, I notice it is not snake movement because the creature moves when it heard the screaming 5xmom voice.

I bended down a bit and saw that it is a monitor lizard.

So, monitor lizard nia hio? Sap-sap sui lah. I killed many when I was a scrawny kampung kid. I would wait at the coconut tree for it to come down and then, whack it with wood. Drag it home, got my mom to skin it and we cooked it!

When we cooked monitor lizards, my mom said we must no leave the wok open or the house lizards, the cousins, will shit and pee on them. It tastes like chicken, only better. I mean the monitor lizard’s flesh.

Then, I went back upstairs, go grab my video camera like all good videographers do. Turn it on, check white balance (gila betul), press on and went down.

Quickly jumped on my sofa just in case this monitor lizard returns to revenge for all the cousins and brothers that I had eaten. But when I was nearer to it, it fled.

Sigh….that’s not the end.

My poor kid had been so frightened, he told me he has a (temporary) headache.

And here I am, recording them just in case monitor lizards become extinct in this world. BTW, the monitor lizards nowadays are very poisonous because of their living conditions, so don’t attempt to eat or you die of toxic, heavy metals, ok?

The end….