When I left my job in 1998, I have given up all ideas of working again. It is like I would never find another boss like my ex-boss. He likes me a lot and he treated me so well. No one can measure up to him in terms of ‘garang-ness’. He would yell, fuck and bang table at everyone. Except me. I am not sure why but he never scolded me even when he was in the baddest badass mood.

Then, I remember my sister-outlaw consoling me that I can always make kuehs and sell when the children are older. *shivers till I pee kekekeke*

Anyway, thank God, there was never a moment when we need money. Or maybe I must thank my husband for never screwing up like some husbands did. So, we have ample cushions and we have enough for a few sons to go through college and U if they need. But thank God my sons are not inclined to study very hard to need medical school or law school. See? There is always a bright side to everything.

So, I was always willing to do something to keep myself busy. For free. I had done some voluntary stuffs here and there. I learned many life lessons, kept myself away from boredom. Don’t forget the moolah I had made through blogging.

The things I planned never work out. Like the time when I wanted so badly to take up clinical pastoral care because I am very convinced that I would be very happy doing counselling for prisoners, terminal patients and sombre things like those which not many people will want to do. You know what? Lucky I didn’t make it cos the hospital had a reshuffling and now, it is not the religious people handling it anymore but corporate people.

Anyway, I hope they can bring the course to Penang so that I can take it up. I don’t know but I always have that freaky ideas that one day natural disaster or tragedy may strike and we need people expert in pastoral care.

Earlier this year, a mother superior (thats a very high ‘level’ nun, mind you) asked me if I can go to the old folks home and read newspapers and talk to them about the news. Last year, I had already planned to do it but then, citizen journalism came along.

I found video journalism more challenging and it is not so emotional draining. Being a friend to dying old folks will break me somehow. So, I dragged my feet and never got back to the voluntary job.

Then, something came up…and…

I may go back to work, doing something I am already doing, only this time, it is more formal and not a ‘if I am lazy to wake up, I won’t need to go’ type of discipline.

So, what about going back to work after such a long break of 12 years? Nothing….cos I never stop doing something all the time so I don’t need to oil the old engine to get moving.