Posted on May 26th, 2010 by Lilian • Filed under: Humor
I grew up with so many ghost stories, it is excusable that I had childhood trauma of takut hantu. So, here I am, feeling hungry cos the last meal I had was at 6 pm and it was just a small portion. Yet, I dare not go downstairs, go into the kitchen, spent like 15 minutes to cook myself a packet of instant noodle. Of course the advertisement says 2 minute but they bluff one, where can cook in 2 mins lah.
So, what are some of the childhood hantu stories?
1) Hantu pisang – My neighbours always told me stories of hantu pisang. If you tie a red string to the banana tree and then, tie the other end to your bedroom window, the hantu pisang will go into your room. It is a beautiful woman so if you are a horny man, you may want to give it a try, cheaper than getting China dolls. (of course, last sentence, I added sendiri)
2) Hantu si-lor-barn – This one has it’s head out of it’s body and fly fly fly around the kampong. Not just head but the entrails, i.e. the stomach and intestines
3) Hantu pontianak – Of course everyone is familiar with the blood sucking white dress, long hair Malaysian dracula.
4) Hantu under the table – I used to mix with a lot of Indian/Hindu friends when I was young. So, Hindus are very particular about dusk. They believed there are small hantus playing under the table at dusk. So, don’t look or play under the table.
5) Hantu cincin – This one was my biggest trauma. My two older sisters and they are a lot older than me, i.e. 10 yrs and 14 yrs older than me took me to watch one Thai hantu story when I was about 10 yrs old. The man bought a ring and the hantu haunted (hmmm..how come hantu and haunt so similar alphabets one?) the whole family. Head popped out of toilet bowl lah, (stupid ghost, why lah go hide in shit hole, hor?), sudden apparition in mirror lah, screaming ghost at window lah…macam-macam hantu.
Come to think of it, the Mat Salleh ghosts like poltergeist or even Emily Rose are not as scary as those Thai ghosts. Or our local Malay ghosts. Or the white face, blue robe, two red dots Chinese ghosts that go jump jump jump.
I had been so traumatised by all these ghosts, I never watched a single Japanese ghost stories. Lucky Japanese ghost stories were not invented when I was younger.
Now, if there is a ghost story on DVD, I would hide in the room. Anyway, I don’t allow ghost stories to be shown at home. My amount of screaming, close eyes, shut ears and crawl behind hubby’s back to hide had turned off all my kids from watching.
Damn…after 460 words of hantu, I am still hungry. Yet, I am so not gonna stand in the kitchen, waiting for the mee to boil…I don’t want a face to appear at the window, or a hand that pops out of the kitchen sink.
500 words. Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the hantu bite.