If you can’t trust God with the smallest favour, how can you even believe there is God?

I used to read a lot of Christianity based books. I have many of them before I converted. One of the things I learned from those stories is how people tend to rely on God for many things.

I didn’t start with the Bible because the Bible, if left unexplained or if we are not enlightened is full of ridiculous stories and very, very sinful acts. So, I wouldn’t recommend anyone who wish to learn about Christianity to start with Genesis. I did that and I thought it was so cartoonish. But I was lucky, I got myself a study Bible with Jesus’s words in red prints. So, I began by reading only red fonts and I suppose that’s why I didn’t run away from the calling.

Now, I have plenty of stories like those I had read. If only I care to jot down all the little things that have happened when I believe.

I go through my days with little requests. I never ask for big things, only tiny ones. Like for example, when I took part in the cooking contest the other day, all I asked was “God..don’t let me cut my finger or trip on the floor metal grill.” It wasn’t – God, let me win this.

Then, the filming crew came to my house, all six of them, from KL to do a profile shoot of me. They asked me what I want to do with the RM30K if I win. And guess what? I never thought of asking God to let me win or even thought of the prospect though the prize is there for the taking. I just enter the contest because it is fun. I suppose God must have love me because I am such a silly person. I told them, I never thought of that at all.

Sometimes, there are things that I want to do badly but the chances were not there. So, I asked in my heart while I was driving. I cannot reveal what are those things but things really happened. Opportunities dropped on my lap. BANG! Just like hitting something, I hit on the chance. And when that happened, I will really put out my hands, and thank God He does heard me. Sometimes, I thank Him for the way things worked out.

You see, if we don’t start with tiny, little requests, see it happened before our eyes, acknowledge that it is God’s subtle way of telling us He is there, we cannot truly believe in a God. No amount of prayers, devotions, charity works, faithful living will help to build the faith.

Of course, one cannot make too many demands either. Because many times, we pray and ask for things that are for our selfish needs. We want it because we think it is good for us. So, prayers went unanswered.

Let me share something that happened yesterday. I was very sure and convinced that a video I made will be a good tribute to a group of people. I spent my morning and evening just to meet and film. I spent another 2 nights editing it to my satisfaction. But my boss wasn’t around. She didn’t ask me to do the video. Video is my independent initiative. I told her I want to interview those people because we want it for our printed bulletin.

So, I went ahead and did the video. But due to lack of time, I do not have a chance to go through the hierarchy and bureaucracy to get it seen by the high officials. I know it would be a pain when I ask because they will have their own ideas. Editing video is a painstaking task and you cannot do amendments just like that. It takes time to process.

I went to the event, full of confidence that my video will be ok. I approached the officers. I managed to convince them they have to play my video. So wicked, right? But I prayed really hard. I was ‘talking to Jesus’, Please please please let everything goes well. Or I will die of embarrassment. You cannot let me do that, you know????

I only managed to inform the CM just before viewing time. I do have a lot of confidence that he will be ok with it. And thank God, it did. A couple of reporter friends told me it is very touching. Another one like the photos he saw in the video. And most important of all, I noticed a couple of men whom were featured in the video, quickly swiping away their tears when it was over.

I whispered again, “Thank Jesus, You saved me.” It is the feelings in my heart. If you are very sure with that feelings, you know Jesus is standing next to you, telling you, go ahead.