I like this Psalm

Something struck me about this Psalm 15. It is the Psalm for today’s reading, the sixteenth week in ordinary time. Hmm…I am getting better with our Catholic terms and such now.

In fact, I am so glad I joined the choir for several years now because I am not so lost with some of the Latin hymns. Gee, I am getting Catholic-ky, eh, Fathers? *grins*

You know…going to church, celebrating mass takes a lot of efforts on our side. I am not one of those who can do something because I am supposed to do it. Like going to church on Sundays?

I go because I want to, not because I am supposed to be seen doing it. So, yeah, sometimes, in fact lately, most times, it can be a boring show of being part of the community.

I didn’t go because I need to hear the 1st reading, 2nd reading, psalm and gospel explained. I didn’t go because I am supposed to partake in the bread and wine.

I go because I want to find that solitude, that oomph and aha session and the mountain-top feeling. If you have something troubling you, you can easier find it. If you have a nice, happy, routine life, you will probably do it as part of the routine.

This morning, when I stepped into church, the first sentence that greeted me was ‘Lilian, I haven’t seen you for a long time, where have you been?’

Oh oh…before I can even sit down, kena interrogate already. I said, “either I come at 7am, I was in KL or I couldn’t make it’. And they are all truths. I had asked for my lector’s duties to be changed to 7am because I am sure I do not have work. I was in KL last week and probably I had skipped a mass or two.

Many of us Christians can be rather fake sometimes. There are those who usually have only nice things to say. You know…nothing seems to make them angry. They don’t seem to get pissed off. If you ranted to them, they will gently and sweetly assured you about God’s love. *sigh*

I had been wondering when I can achieve that sort of nirvana like theirs. And this verse from the Psalm wham-bang on my head. It says:

A psalm of David. LORD, who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell on your holy mountain?

Whoever walks without blame, doing what is right, speaking truth from the heart;

Who does not slander a neighbor, does no harm to another, never defames a friend;

Who disdains the wicked, but honors those who fear the LORD; Who keeps an oath despite the cost,

lends no money at interest, accepts no bribe against the innocent.

So, yeah, I am not going to be so uptight that I can never be that sweet, gentle, kind, patient, forgiving Christians like some. I shall just be me. – Doing what is right, speaking truth from the heart.

I heard our church is going to have a new priest soon. And I hope it is sooner than soon. Cos right now, I have to muster a lot of self-motivation to find that oomph session. Out of 7 days, listening to LGE’s speech like 6 days of the week, I need that one single hour to listen to a good, kick-ass homily. The kind that made you go hallelujah, you rocks, Father kinda homily.

I don’t want to know what Mary and Martha did. I want to listen to what we can do in this real world, full of challenges. So, can I pray the Bishop choose a controversial, kick-ass, political-inclined priest with booming voice and not so uptight about rituals to be our parish priest soon? Please, Jesus, please?

No, not that I do not enjoy the leadership of our current priests. But I need a bigger dose of ‘go out and do Thy Father’s Will’.

I like being scolded in a straightforward manner. For example, today, our priest ‘too gently’ reminded the females about their dressings. It was beating around the bush. I would have loved it if he said, “You women shouldn’t wear too sexy or our dear brothers in Christ will have to go back to ‘I confess’ before mass is ended’.

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