Time and time again, I have shed tears at that Talian Nur’s song. It is a beautiful song, always bring tears to the eyes. Yet, after each time I watch it on TV, I feel the anger rising in me.
I am not angry with the mothers who dumped their usually deceased babies. I am angry with how clueless the adults and the politicians are.
Yet, I cannot find the right way to say it because it touches on other’s religion. And they are super-sensitive and easily melatah, blinded and unreasonable.
Then again, I cannot just sit still and not say anything at all because it seems more and more rampant nowadays. The women affairs minister seem to have a lot of time to apply barrels of cement coating make-up for herself. Yet, after so many decades she still can’t tell us why newborns, sometime dead, some still alive babies are left in newspapers, bitten by ants and covered with dirt.
Things have gotten so stupid. One Chief Minister suggested lowering the marriageable age. Another Chief Minister (in a sense) suggested killing the mother who dumped her baby.
Since I converted to Christianity, I notice I have this magnet, attracting girls with problems writing to me. That had happened many years already. We Catholics call it the gift of counselling.
These girls who are in trouble notice I am not judgmental like most older women like their moms or aunties. So, they write to me.
Several of them are unwed mothers. One claimed she is 14 years old. One said she is a Muslim. Usually, when they have Malay-like names, I am very cautious with my reply because I am not sure if it is one of those mails meant to bait me. You know…if we wrongly preached God to the wrong person, we can be hauled up. In my faith blog, I have people asking ‘I am a Muslim and I want to know about your Jesus.’ My first action is to delete off because it is a grave matter.
So, back to these pregnant girls. My first advice is always, ‘Talk to your parents, no matter how you think they are not loving you, going to slap you, wateva, they are your parents and will be the best person to guide you.’
I am a Catholic. Abortion is a sin to us. But as a mother to a premature baby who was born only 1.45kg, I will never allow any women to abort their babies because babies have lives. Even tiny ones like my Vincent. Even those with birth disorders because they have lives too. So, I will send them BabyCentre website which has very good description of how big their baby is. Usually these girls only found out when they are about 12 to 16 weeks pregnant.
My reason is ‘the most you have to give up is a year, i.e. the time they need to hide their pregnancy to birth’. I told them it will avoid risks and also a huge scar and guilt for the rest of their lives.
So, why do these girls get pregnant? Do you think they are just being horny? That’s what our supposedly wise ministers and chief ministers think. Usually, these girls got into trouble in their quest for love. We are now living in a less loving world. Parents have to work hard to make ends meet. Mothers don’t spend time with their daughter enough to guide them.
And the boys? Again, parents do not spend enough time to instill moral values into them. They live a callous life with little feelings. They just don’t care what tomorrow is.
Now, the religion bit. We know which religion has the most baby dumping. Why? Because it is a great sin to have sex out of wedlock. It is punishable by the Almighty. Now, we have humans politicians who want to mete out capital punishments on this earth as well. Can you imagine the kind of pressure these girls feel? Can we blame them for panicking and throwing away a baby? They are also risking their lives giving birth without medical attention. I wonder how many have bled to death, but went unreported? How many had their wombs forever scarred, not able to have anymore babies in future?
Come on lah, stop being so judgmental. We need to teach our youngs the proper value, the consequences and provide them a place to fall back on. We have to stop this stupid ad where they are term as inhuman, beast and other stigmas.
It is only when we can afford to give our children a proper home, loving environment that we are qualified to talk about punishing them.