You know you have crossed that middle line when you start looking back

The sun rises and shines so bright this morning. Unlike other days, today the sun rays are especially beautiful. Then, I have all green lights, all the way from home to school. So, that gave me quite an uppity mood.

When you are wide awake and appreciate the surroundings, you tend to be more alert and more receptive to things. I call this my moment with God. I am always thankful for the little things like green traffic lights, no traffic jam and even a beautiful sunset or sunrise.

If my boy has not fallen back to sleep, we usually chat and I will point out to him how beautiful the sky is and remind him to praise and thank God for these small things.

So, with all my antennae buzzing and receiving the good vibes around me, I walked with him to school after I parked my car a distance away. Mother, son and a heavy school bag, breathing in the cold morning air. We reached at 7.30 am though school officially starts at 7.45 am.

After I sent him into the school compound and gave him a quick hug and kiss on the forehead, I went out to stand by the perimeter of the school compound. I have nothing better to do so I just stood there and observe how he socialises with his friends.

Then, the bell rings at 7.40 am (the warning bell) and I return to my car, mind thinking what to have for breakfast. That’s when the usual mad rush starts. Parents will be driving and ready to ram you if you do not give way to them to deliver their precious kids to the school compound before 7.45 am (and that’s when the prefect will close the gate and start to jot names of those who arrive late). Mothers will be dragging their sleepy head sons to get into the gate.

And I look at them, amuse. I was like that once. The dragging sleepy heads group. Not sure about the ‘ready to ram people’ cos I think I am not that ganas? And I am so glad those are in the past now. I am so much more relaxed. On days when I am late, the prefects usually lets my son in because he is so cute. He just told me the prefects call him chubby cheeks and said want to pinch his pink cheeks. Moreover the headmaster is more lenient than the previous one, though equally garang.

This business of rushing to send kids to babysitter, kindergarten and primary school is over. My boy is rather big now. I have plenty of time to spare. I don’t need to rush around chasing punch clocks. (I have made a deal that I will work flexi hours or I would have to be working fm 8-5 every day, anyway, our office is not ready so I don’t need to report for work as I have no place to sit.)

After leaving my son in school, I drove to Pulau Tikus market. My luck was with me cos I get a parking space right in front of the market. It is like striking lottery to find an empty space there. Hmmm…..I should have bought some lottery tickets…

Then, I saw a pregnant woman (my boss is also pregnant btw and going for maternity leave maybe next month, which means I will have no boss for two months yay!) at the market. And I am also so relieved. No more carrying a huge, heavy, clumsy belly with me anymore, everrrrrr….

That’s when I realized that I am now over the hill, going down all the way. That’s why I am looking back and feeling glad that all the heavy burdens are relieved from my shoulders. No more nappy changing, no more pacifying sick babies, no more making enough income, no more dealing with kids’ tantrums and etc.

It is really nice. Just me, myself and I. Plus the simpler tasks of taking care of grown up kids. Life is indeed nice. Maybe, someday, I can actually go follow my dreams of going some place remote and live with the gorillas, guerrillas or something. Hmm..maybe something is a much better choice.