I wonder if I am one of those who die young?
Posted on October 6th, 2010 by Lilian • Filed under: Faith
Choy, choy, choy…
But this thought does creep into the mind sometimes. Blame it on watching too much TV series and reading too many fictions.
This morning, as I was driving my boy to school, I was suddenly transported to Form Three. The recollection is so vivid, right down to how the morning air feels. I drove by Penang Chinese Girls School and there stood some prefects. So, I was like rocketed to the times when I used to stood by the school gate, jotting down names of the students who arrived late.
Few days earlier, I had a sudden recall of the times when I was bedridden. Being a blogger, when these sort of thoughts come into mind, I actually break them into more details and endure all the bad, painful parts just for kicks. I wanted to say that the most vulnerable a person could be is when he or she had to depend on another person’s for his/her toilet needs.
I haven’t ever felt so helpless as the times when I need a nurse to help me shit and clean my shits. Seriously. It seems funny now but it wasn’t then. I recalled how I stubbornly refused to pass motion for a couple of days because I wanted to walk to the toilet but the nurses do not even allow me to turn from side to side in bed.
So, this thought of having flashes of the past….
I remembered watching several TV shows where they showed the fast forward, rewind and whirrr whirrr whirr of the person’s life.
Hmmm..maybe it is a sign of senility. My doctor will probably tell me it is normal because the brain is degenerating….
Wateva…at least I have said it aloud. That will break the curse, like my mother said.
Oh, I attached a song here. Original was by John Denver but I like these two chaps. I find it so soothing, don’t know why.
Ok, my video is finished uploading on Youtube, synopsis typed, time to sleep. Early morning event at 8.30am. I like what I am doing. But I am not too sure I like the contract. Just got the contract (after 4 mths of work and my colleagues said I am lucky to get it early cos they had to wait for theirs for a year!) and it sounds like my grandma (not that I have one before). The contract says I cannot do this, cannot do that, must listen to that, to this. I think I will sign and give it back to them. But bah, I am not a rules and regulations person so I will just keep my fingers that I expire before the contract. At worst, it is NAH!