The most potong stim word to hear in the morning is ‘iGotTamaqEgg’. The kind tt needs positive parenting, some cunning woman’s lies, a dash of fierce woman ‘Which teacher scold you, mommy go scold him back want or not?’, lots of kelentong till the imaginary TamaqEgg goes away. And you need years of parenting exp to know which are imaginary which are real TamaqEggs. *prays real hard*

(actually, I wanted to post the above in my Facebook status but exceeded the limited number of characters so here it goes in my blog.

My kid has been getting stomach aches only on Fridays. Initially, it slipped my mind that it could be one of those imaginary ones which I used to cook up when I was a kid.

But finally, I notice a pattern. Previously, before he was ‘upgraded’ to Merah class, he was in Kuning. School PE (that’s pendidikan jasmani for you younger generation) was on a different day. Now, in Merah class, the PE is on Friday morning. So, TamaqEgg monster rears it ugly head every Friday mornings and sometimes, Thursday nights.

After much coercions, pujuking, manjaing, bribes and heart-to-heart talks, I found out that he was traumatised by his PE teacher. He told me when he shouts, it is so loud. I asked if he had kena before from the teacher. He told me no but his friends got it.

Poor kid is extra nice, obedient and sweet (just like me!) so he doesn’t take scolding well because he rarely gets it, either from us or the teachers. Therefore, a loud voice teacher is probably frightening to him.

I cajoled. I assured. And when that doesn’t work, I have no choice but to throw weight around. I told him not to be scared because some teachers are like that. I reminded him that his headmaster shouts even louder but he is so fren-fren with mommy, you see? So, if teacher really scolded him, then, tell mommy, mommy tell gurubesar.

And guess what he said? “Oh…you CJ, gurubesar scared you video him, issit?” *sweats, my seven year old kid knows what is intimidation*

Anyway, this morning, I refuse to pity him and wait for him to sit out his stomach ache on the toilet bowl. Before we get in the car, he said he got another tummy ache but I had to be firm and told him we can stop at Caltex, Shell, Esso and BHP if he wants.

We got there just in time. I offered to tell to his PE teacher that he is not feeling well. The teacher was just about to take the students to class after assembly. But the little boy who wants to be a man told me, “No need, no need.” I told him, “Mommy won’t scold teacher one, just tell cikgu you got tummy ache, cannot PJ.” Kekekeke…

And I must jot this down because he warned me not to post on Facebook (he reads my Facebook status sometimes when he suspect I mention him)…Yesterday after he returned from school and had taken his bath, he got out of the bathroom and said, “Mini Lim Guan Eng reporting for duty!” My back was facing him and I go, “huh?”

Guess what he did? He combed his hair with a side parting and since it was dripping wet, the normal tussle of hair was just like brylcreem man. I laughed and laughed and laughed till cannot breathe. I had wanted to post on Facebook but he checked on my FB status once in a while (by standing next to me to see what I typed)

When I was laughing hard, he put on a straight face and said, “What????? You check and see, his hair like that mah…”

Now, I gotta go…work. Hope I don’t recall the MLGE and laughed in the middle of video.