A ‘Tiger Mom’ I am not

Are you aware that there is a debate going on over at Friso Tiger Mother FB discussion tab at http://www.facebook.com/FrisoGrowingUpTogether about Tiger Moms? Several Malaysian bloggers have got themselves worked up about this. Apparently, mothers have opinions of their own and they do not agree on one method of parenting. You should see what these mothers say about bringing up children using the strict discipline method like the Amy Chua’s famous Tiger Mom style.

I am well-known as the obnoxious one but in reality, am I a Tiger Mom as well? Do I control my kids like typical Chinese moms? Do I adopt the Tiger Mom method like Amy Chua?

I am pretty sure everyone knows and have read about the sensational Amy Chua who advocated strict discipline for her children, making the Americans wonder if their method of a more laidback style is wrong?
The heated debate about Amy Chua’s tiger style hits the headlines all over the world. It does make me wonder if I am doing something wrong. I am definitely not Amy Chua. I am definitely the Western mom style which is practically more ‘cin cai’ and more relaxed.

However, I do know of many Tiger Moms and you know what? Their husbands whispered they are tiger wives too. The thing is these Tiger Moms are too engrossed with their right to the dot perfection of bringing up children, they failed to see they aren’t such a fun wife anymore.

So how do you know if you are a Tiger Mom? You are a Tiger Mom if you say yes to these :

1) Make sure your kids score A in as many subjects as possible or they will get some form of punishment;
2) Your kids are in the taekwondo, ballet, piano, squash classes and if they have more time, you would enrol them in drama, language and computer classes;
3) There is no such thing as having sleepovers at friends’ place or going out for movies till past midnight with you;
4) Apprehend the teachers if they did not mark your child’s test papers properly;
5) Kicks up a big fuss if your child is not selected to be part of the team or play;

and lots of other scary, controlling stuffs. Plus you will always tell your kids that ‘Mommy is always right because she knows best’.

Well, parents may have different opinions and many will believe it is their duties to instill all the good habits and characters in their children. They want their kids to grow up with a competitive streak and be winners.

For me, I just do not care about strict discipline and neither have I meted out punishment. I only care that my kids have an open communication with me. They can skip classes, doesn’t matter if their grades are just average and it is quite ok if they hardly ever become the club president or be in the sports team.

What matters to me is they are happy, know what they want and not be afraid to disagree with me. So, where do you fall in this spectrum of being a Tiger Mom versus the Happy Go Lucky Mom? You can find out how other parents think of this at this Tiger Mother FB discussion tab https://www.facebook.com/FrisoGrowingUpTogether?sk=app_14167664298.
I think I will reserve my opinions and limit it to my own blog. Otherwise, I will probably set off huge arguments because many Chinese moms are Tiger Moms. I will just go play far-far from these kiasu moms.

3 thoughts on “A ‘Tiger Mom’ I am not

  1. I am definitely not a Tiger mom….yet. I hope I don’t become one when my kids start schooling. But sometimes I’m afraid of being too kiasu.

    Read about you on your About page, thanks for your honesty. I like it. But now, a bit scared already.
    mom2kiddos recently posted..Sunshine

  2. ahaaa..now only i know that most of chinese moms are tiger mom.I remember i have one chinese friends masa kat sekolah dulu.She went to the piano class,takewando and arts class. She told me that her mom wants her to attend all the classes.. Sometimes i realise tiger mom pun bagus jugak. At this current situation with the social problem, its better for them to attend the classes dari hang out dengan kawan2 yang tak bermoral 🙂 it;s just my opinon 🙂
    superdotnunu recently posted..Bolehkah BIBIQ sabar

  3. i’m an instant mum to a pair of teenagers…definitely not an easy job.so i decided to be in the middle…not too strict on their academic (meaning…i wont scold them even when their result are sooooo bad) but very particular about their behaviour.

    i think we can either be the tiger or the cat mum depending on the kid.each of them has their own personality & they need to be treated accordingly.

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