ORGANISED, ORDERLY, ORDINARY- I want
Posted on September 16th, 2011 by Lilian • Filed under: Life and rants
I got a sms from our choir leader that Christmas choir is starting October. And I go ohhhhhmaiiiiigoddddd…time flies too fast. Where are Jan, Feb, Mac, Apr, May, June, July, August…..
I don’t think I want to be part of the Christmas choir this year. I cannot promise I can attend every choir practice and I don’t want to waste three months of practice only to miss the singing on the real day. So, yeah, Lilian is shirking her responsibilities in church again.
This is one of the many things I have stopped doing in church. Some will say I have not set my priorities right. They say I am not putting God ahead of work or leisure. Maybe they are right, or maybe they don’t understand. There are so many talks about ‘election coming’ and these are very distracting and disconcerting. I do not dare to plan anything.
I dare not book any cheap flights ahead of schedule. I dare not promise my kids if we are going somewhere. Every trip we made so far are trips decided at the last minute.
Actually, something else bugs me. It doesn’t bugs me enough to make me thin. A lot of people have asked if I have grown thinner and thinner because I am worried about ‘my case’. Hah, that’s an insult to me. Where can I worry about a case like that to make me thin? So easy to make me lost weight, lost appetite, lost sleep over that thing meh?
But it does bug me. Today especially. I saw in the papers that they have concluded the Bersih cases. I believe that’s one huge case with hundreds of police reports. But they said they have concluded the investigation.
I was wearing my blue baju kurung. And so I was telling myself, hey this is not fair. It is almost two months they took away my Mac. How come their cases all finished investigating and mine is still dangling in the air? So, I prod abit.
It is still pending. I am still waiting.
Oh wait, you wonder what’s the blue baju kurung got to do with this? Well, I wore that one when the police came to take my Mac away. After that, I dare not wear it until today because I was like, “yeerrrrr….if I wear, people sure recognise me as the criminal”. But I forgot this morning and wore it.
There are many little things that I don’t allow to creep into my mind,if I can help it. Like when I walked into my son’s school in the mornings, until the case is over, I am deemed the mother with a police case. When I go to church, I am either deemed the Lord’s little loud speaker or the condemned Christian who made the church looks bad. When I go to kopitiam, I am the person whose face was plastered in the paper.
So, yeah, today is one of those days when the blue baju kurung reminded me of how blek *puts tongue out* it is to have two police cars and four police personnel in my house, running through my messy home.
That’s why I must get my life back, organised, orderly, ordinary. I don’t want a police case hanging over my head or an election that will screwed up at least 3 weeks of my life dangling and about to fall on my head.
ORGANISED, ORDERLY, ORGANISED – TIGA O, BOSS. Bila ya, Tuan?