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Dear Santa

I have not been a good girl this year.

I skipped church.

I get pissed and am not afraid to show it.

I didn’t spend that much time playing masak-masak at home.

I lost weight, put it back and lazy to lose it again.

I dropped out of teaching catechism class.

I dropped out of church choir.

I dropped out of lectoring.

I didn’t contribute much help in church camps.

So, dear Santa. If you are that marvellous, generous, fabulous, bulbous chap they say you are, can you please give me more time? Hey, I am not asking for diamonds or gold, ok? Those cost money. I am asking for only time.

If you can give me some extra time, I promise I will not skip church because I will have spare one hour to go to church every Sunday.

If you give me more time, I won’t be so pissed so the world is peaceful. But then again, morons will not learn a lesson if I don’t scold them. So…never mind, next….

If you give me more time, I will have time to cook for my boys. Abuden, it is not in any social contract that I must die-die cook meals for the boys every day. So, it’s ok, forget it. I am happy as it is because my older boys can cook now. Why would you want to give me more time to be a kitchen slave, no?

I know if you give me more time, I will still not exercise, so yeah, it’s ok too. I have perfect excuse not to exercise because I don’t have time.

As for the rest, Santa, I think you need to ask your friend up there, Jesus to give me more time. I really love spending time, doing stuffs for the church. But, I really, really have no time because I have duties and responsibilities. Jesus said, anyone doing something for the least of the brethens have done for the Lord. So, you see, Santa, there are lots of people who can teach, read the Bible and do stuffs in church. But there aren’t many people who can multi-tasking like me working in a job which doesn’t pay much, plenty of workload and requires the cunning mind of mine to produce things. So, yeah, Santa, please tell Jesus I may not have spend time in the holy house but I have spent lots of time on the grounds. I was out fishing in the open deep blue seas like He said I should.

Whether it is to see Ghani’s shits or to stand in awe amongst King and Queen, those are my job and responsibility.

Dear Santa, now that I have listed out all my naughty and nice, will you still reward me? Please overlook the fact that I did many things that I probably shouldn’t do but hey, I only live once so can you also look the other way?

One more thing, Santa. Since my 8 yrs old no longer believe you exist, you can retire now. Have loads of candies and please remember to zip up your pants after you pee pee. Am reminding you cos your belly is so big, you may not be able to see your birdie sticking out.




2 Responses to “Dear Santa”

  1. ROFL, best letter to santa 2011!

  2. Ho!Ho!Ho!Ha!Ha!Ha! a nice letter Lilian,
    Merry Christmas and God Bless.