I don’t know about others but I have this sense of helplessness hanging around me after so many deaths and tragedies. Previously, we relied on our local TV stations and newspapers for news. Now, we get raw emotions delivered to us live. We see gory photos and videos. We keep our eyes glued to the latest development and like it or not, we are sucked into the sombre mood.
So, I have been thinking about my own mortality. I wondered what will happen to my self when I am dead. Yesterday, a sentence in The Fault In Our Stars struck me. The girl had prepared an eulogy for her dead boyfriend and he got her to rehearse his own funeral. But at the real funeral, the girl put away the eulogy she had jotted down.
Instead, she spoke off the cuff after looking at the grieving mother of her boyfriend. She said to herself, “Funerals are not for the dead.” And true indeed. We don’t need all the hoo-haa for the dead.
Having said that, I did give my mother-in-law a decent funeral with all the Chinese opera, cymbals and bells because I know that was the kind of funeral she enjoyed when she go to others funerals.
Oh you may ask what connection death and my title of Don’t be too much of an asshole has to do with each other. Well, I certainly do not want to be too much hated that when I am dead, there are people rejoicing my death. I think I will be kinder, not that I am not already, so that at least there are some people to cry over me.
Cos like my mother-in-law, I think I will love to hover around in my invisible state and count the number of people who cried. So you see, live simple life. Don’t harbour too much hate. Don’t let those anger and jealousy and other negative feelings eat you up.
Nowadays, I am very patient, forgiving and though still defiant, I can pretty much sit back and watch people burn on their own without me adding the coals and fanning the flame.
Age probably made me wiser. I don’t allow vindictive, small-hearted assholes ruin my life anymore. Focus on my principles, and I trust these people will self-destruct on their own. I don’t even wish bad karma befalling them too. Cos I prefer to leave this world, clean. I don’t want to owe anyone anything.
So yeah, stop being such a jerk. You do not know if you have time to make amends. Life is short, be nice. And no this is not a curse for you. It is an advice for all.