Profound thoughts on death and dying

Just watched The Fault in Our Stars movie. It is about two teens dying of cancer. And when I came out of the cinema I was greeted with news that another planed crashed and more people died.

Reminds me of the time when I used to sit with cancer patients and after warming up with them, I would broach the subject of ‘the afterlife’ and if they are sure where they are heading. You see, some people who aren’t sure what is going to happen to them after death, sometimes find it hard to let go and die in peace.

The movie showed flashback of the mom telling her 13 years old daughter not to be afraid to let go (as in die if you have to).

With all these planes crashes and tragedy, I wonder if people also think of their own lives? We will all die someday. Or maybe in the next moment.

Maybe it is the oxygen tube and tank that stir up my need to write in length. During the movie, we have our little boy siting between my hubby and I. First I told little boy, “That’s exactly what Vincent had. We had three tanks.” Then, hubby who didn’t hear my whisper repeated the same thing.

Yeah, maybe that’s why I just want to ramble. Of the mini tank which we carried on our back, the 2-3 feet in height which we had to strap to a luggage trolley, the humongous one which our dumb doc prescribed and finally the oxygen concentrator which we rented, after finding a smart doctor.

Maybe I didn’t quite get over the people staring at Vincent when we had to bring him to the hospital with oxygen, trolley and a tube. Those idiotic people who stopped me in my track to ask kepochee questions while I was rushing into ER so that the nurses can fix the oxygen supply to their hospital main one (and charge me of course).

Whatever….I pause and thank God that I had my dose of such sobby-sobby stuffs in my life once. I can now better grasp life tragedies. Not that it is easier or less painful to see those family of the flight tragedies…but at least I have a bit more of the jigsaw puzzle of life.

During the movie, in the most sombre funeral part, the Van Houten Dutch guy made me LOL. He said, “This is where we pretend to pray.” I find that utterly funny. Because so many people think they are praying but actually, they spew a lot of nonsense.

Oh maybe, I am still quite sore with all those people who spew nonsense about life and death as if they had been to hell and back and can smugly talked like they know it all. I think I have not question God why these things happen. I have resigned myself to the fact that we all have to die, somehow. So I don’t ask why.

At the same time, I don’t spew religious nonsense and cliche words like God is putting us to test lah, God will not place a trouble too hard lah, God this, God that.

Looking at my last blogpost, I think I am making this Obnoxious blog looking like some depressed woman’s blog. But then, it is not like you can find someone who can actually relate to what I wrote up there. Plus it is not like FB is the place to talk sombre stuffs

So yeah, here is flushing some of the sick feelings of so many tragedies. While brushing my teeth, I think this year has been filled with more deaths and funerals than anything else. Right from Karpal’s shocking accident until now, it has been one tragedy after another.