“How do you feel?”

“How do you feel?” is a question that we often asked in our counselling course. It must be said with such feelings, using your hands, with palms open and do that fanning up from the heart to conjure up feelings.

I spent 100 hours in counselling course and I got a certificate signed by the Bishop. It costed me money, of course but it was a good soul searching time. I changed a lot after that. Now you can no longer find the F-word on my blog and I think the word OBNOXIOUS dropped from my blog banner too.

Anyway, over the last couple of days, a few girlfriends had asked ‘What does it feel to be 50?’

Well, let me try to think what difference there is between 49 years old 364 days and 50 years old. Well, nothing.

I started my birthday on a very spiritual and faith-laden day. I had plenty of time to ponder about what I am going to do for the rest of my life. Well, not really but at least I know I am into something that I have always wanted to do – mission.

With that tame, proper and prim start, I suppose it is time to grow old LOL.

At the same time, someone I don’t really know well but know fondly passed away. I got teary over it over and over again because of the sudden loss. He was only 51. So it hits home that I better live life fully. His death and the outpouring of grief on his FB taught me to be nicer to people. I want to be nicer because I don’t want the world to clap and cheer LOL. I want strangers cry over me LOL.

Initially beginning of this year, I had that crazy thought that to celebrate the BIG 50, I should have some hen party kinda celebration. You know…when you are that old, you don’t need to be so ‘nice girl’ anymore. But nay….fate had it that I spend it in a reflective weekend with churchie people doing Jesus-y things.

So yeah, nothing life changing being a 5-series. So far, not yet. I still get my period LOL so that means I am not menopausal yet. Maybe I will celebrate the next milestone – when I don’t need to buy tampons anymore. Wonder what I will do with spare tampons should the Aunt Flo decided to stop, huh? Use it to plug my nose when I have runny nose? Use it to stuff my ears if it is too noisy?