On certain days, I have that feelings of wanting to throw a rock at God’s window. Just to break it, so that He knows I exist and I am angry.
I am not sure why but I have confided in a couple of friends how I am tired of the negotiating process. As an adult, a rather wise one, I do know that God doesn’t negotiate with us.
I know I can find those answers if I spend more time looking thru the Bible. But hey, didn’t Jesus said we must have faith like a child? And only when we have faith like a child, we can enter Heaven?
So, it is not too far fetch to have the urge to throw a rock and break, hopefully those beautiful stained glass windows that costs a bomb that churches spend on using donations from over generous individuals who are too keen to wash clean themselves by donating tens of thousands to buy stained glasses imported from Italy…bla bla bla bla…
Yesterday, Sunday morning, I was drag to church because my little boy had to serve the 645 am mass. Heck, how does one keep awake at 645am? In order to get there, I have to set my alarm to 5.30 am because my little worry wart wants to be in church by 6.15am.
Then I realised that I have not gone to CHS for nearly a month. And before you chided me or stoned me for not going to mass every Sunday like all good Catholics do, I did go but not to CHS because I was elsewhere, ok? So yeah, go away self-righteous people.
And self-righteous people are what made me want to throw stone at God’s window. Hmmmm…maybe I was targeting at the wrong person? Maybe I should lastic those people instead. Like how David lastik Goliath?
Anyways….I finally said it out loud – Days when I want to throw a rock at God’s window because I think too many things are being unfair to me, the people around me and the people in the world. Like how I ask for one simple favor and get a selamba (slumber) god that never want to fulfil that one single thing so that I can move on. Or how so many people are getting life threatening illness. How people whom I see as the most caring and loving are inflicted with tragedy.
Or how that god (regardless if you are Muslim/Christian who believe in that one God of Abraham and his descendants) did not sort of smack the bad government/bad officials/bad administration but instead caused the deaths of hundreds.
So now that I had said it, time’s up. Back to work. This is too long for Facebook status so I blogged it.
*keeps my rock for another day*