A month ago, I had this conversation with my former classmate, KK. He is some analyst wizard and he has this annoying habit of asking questions. Well, he is not annoying, he is charming and all that. But oh boy…he has to ask pertinent questions and gather data and facts and produce his analysis kinda thing.
So, we were at the lounge of a hotel, with beers and seated at cosy sofas. He put his face forward, with his elbows on the coffee table, he said to me with a serious, matter-of-fact look, “Why do you want to lose weight?”
Hearing it from KK, it is like a professor asking a greenhorn student about Darwin’s theory or something. Suddenly, I am lost for words. I seriously have no answer!
Then, few days ago, I met up with Nurse Liang. She used to care for Vincent at the Paediatric ward. I used to be fat. Can’t blame me cos after Vincent’s death, I really forget to take care of myself. So I was really down in the dumps during those months in 2002-2003. So Nurse Liang had seen me in my worst possible time.
And she was surpised to see me during a Zumba session. She asked me the same question – Why do you lose weight? For Nurse Liang, I told her because I am tired of Dr Francis scolding me at every medical check-up. And my other excuse is because ‘wa ai sui’ (I want to be pretty).
To KK, I cannot remember what I babbled because when you are with 5-6 former classmates you have not met for 34 years, you don’t actually tell the truth, I supposed.
Two nights ago, another former classmate KH said, “You used to be so thin *with hand action showing how thin* when you were in school.” My retort to him was, “HORRRR…you are saying I am now very fat lah?” So I told KH I had lost 12KG already. And he said he lost 16 KG! So yeah, losing weights is so essential for us who are in our 50s. Oh yeah, KH of course quickly assured me that it is not fat but *actually I forget what were the words he used*.
Now I am asking myself, Lilian, why do you lose weight? It has not been an easy process. I had to change my eating habits. I had to drive here and there to run and workout. I had to sweat loads.
So my answers:
1. Cos my doctor warned me everytime that if I don’t lose weight, I am going to get a heart disease and die like my cousins, in their 50s.
2. Cos I had seen a young mother age 45 who died just like that, one heart attack and she was gone. The tragedy.
3. Cos I got addicted to working out, sweating buckets and losing kilos and inches.
4. Cos no feeling like going down from XL to M and being able to buy any clothes online.
5. Cos I have the ‘can do’ attitude and if I put my heart to doing something, I always succeed.
6. Cos not every woman can do what I did. So many have that ‘no I cannot do this’ attitude and usually it is their mindset that stop them.
7. Cos I get the compliments and even from the ‘highest level’. I tell you there is nothing like being spotted in a sea of cyclists and get spotted for losing weight.
8. Cos the beauty and vanity part gives great motivation.
9. Cos I feel secured that I can run up staircases, I can climb hills and not be a burden to teambuilding.
10. Cos my name is Chan Lilian.