Met my choir group friend today and she asked me to join the practice today. Sadly, I told her I cannot join as I am too tied up.
It is a huge change because I think I had never skipped joining the Christmas choir before. But I suppose the adage ‘We propose, God dispose’ is a good reminder.
Today, I planned to go for SCORE to help. But, by the time I am done with my work, it was already too late. Work caused me to sweat buckets as it was an outdoor thing under the hot sun and dusty construction site. Work was worth it as I could see with my eyes things taking place and had my faith in humanity restored.
That brings me to the joy of being alive. I may not be very involved in church activities but when I am working and there are things that restored my faith or showed me the things related to poverty, generousity, service and such, I feel great.
Some weeks back, someone asked me if I can help in the primary school camp. I had to decline. Looking at my November calendar, I think I don’t even have any weekend for myself, what more for churchies stuffs.
My secondary class camp clashed with my ‘wajib hadir’ teambuilding. When you are in the civil service, wajib hadir is a wajib thing you do not want to escape. So again, church has to take a second priority.
I think I am going to blot out some time for myself because I am tired of this giving to family, church, work, community thing. I should just shut down everything and fly off ALONE to some place and do whatever I fancy. I owe it to myself, really. That way I don’t need to check if my kids want to eat what I want, shop where I want or any of those stuffs. It will be all about me, myself and I. Now, that sounds like a great ending for a blog post titled Christmas choir, eh?
Incidentally Whitney Houston popped up on Youtube with this song :
Like today, I woke up at 550 am to go to church with my boy, got home after breakfast, marketing and cook some dishes and went to work at 11 am. That stretched to 1 pm, rushed to drop my boy at church again and by the time I got home, I dropped dead and zzzz for three hours. Woke up and prepared dinner. Wanted to go to the gym or pool but was sneezing like crazy and I guess my body is telling me to just freaking stop doing and stop moving. So here I am….rotting with songs, reading and crapping.
MUST. DO. IT. ON. MY. OWN. Holiday, ie.