Tamagotchi release reminds me I should be Mom of the Century

I just read on FB that Bandai released a new Tamagotchi. That reminds me of that agonising months and maybe years when I have to take care of its shit when my eldest son was in school.

I still remember I bought the Tamagotchi from Yaohan which had long closed down. It was rather expensive but as parents, we never think about those things as it was the ultimate digital toy to own at that time.

The Tamagotchi is one slave driver. You got to feed it, clean the shits and without cleaning, it gets sick. So much work over a simple gadget like that.

If you still have the old version, try selling it. I read that the thing which cost about USD17 is now worth USD130. I doubt we have ours cos when the kids have grown up, it got lost.

So are you going to buy the newly released Tamagotchi and torture yourself with the attention seeking squeaking digital toy

Hospital stay an eye opening and revelation

Monday, I merrily drove myself to Lam Wah Ee as I thought I just need a batch of oral antibiotics to get my thick yellowish phelgm cleared. As a hospital stay expert, with Vincent’s 7 months in ICU here and the son with asthma, I already know what to expect.

So, I dressed for office, message the office admin I will go in after lunch. But oh oh, the MO found that my white blood cells were low (I think). So I got admitted.

At first I felt kinda silly to be hospitalised for a mere sore throat. Actually it is not as simple but I probably has high tolerance. The jaw hurts, the tongue hurts, the ears hurt, the eye even had discharge. The body ache, feverish, chills but all rather mild and I was still ok.

But God has a way to tell me Dont Play Play. The girl next door had been admitted to ICU for five days just because of a cold (pneumonia I suppose) and she had tracheostomy. According to her grandma, the doctors told them that they didnt know if she could make it. Tracheostomy is when the doctor poke a hole in your throat, and stuff the pipe to help you breathe. In normal circumstances, they will intubate you, as in open up your mouth with some spatula and shove the pipe down.

I know all about ventilator, intubation and stuff from Vincent’s long ICU stay. So I know how serious one can get from just an infection. So I felt much better and less silly to be warded for just simple infection. It was like wow, Lilian, you do not want that to happen to you, right??

 

So, that girl left and one old lady came in middle of the night. I heard she lost consciousness during her sleep. So she was warded next to me. But midway, she had seizure and the nurses rushed into my room to give her suction and oxygen. Again, Vincent’s mom know all about seizure, SPO2, pulse, BP etc.

Kinda of deja vu for me. But here, something connected to me. What happened to the old lady was so sudden. Now I understand how my mom had died. 20 years ago, she was warded for a bad cold. After we ensured she was all comfortable, we went home to sleep. I was 7 months pregnant with David, my third son.

Next morning, we woke up to the news that mother had died. Dying was never in my mind at all. She was taking care of my two older sons. The night before she even told me what to do with Michael who was about 4 years old. Michael was extra clingy for some reasons and insisted my mother who had a cold to go to the school van to carry him down. I suppose he as a child had the premonition.

I was 7 months pregnant and probably, by instinct I held back some emotions as I do not want to get into distress. Plus at that time, I had to deal with mother’s two favourite grandsons, age 6 and 4. So, I was the strong one in the family.

I remembered I went to Loh Guan Lye or is it Adventist, heck I cannot remember now to see the doctor why mom can die just like that. At first, my husband and I went to the morgue because I wanted to see her myself. Strangely, no matter how we asked for directions, we never got there because we couldn’t find the morgue.

I guess its the divine way of shielding me the pregnant woman from going into morgues. Anyway, later on, I had been to morgues many times, even for strangers. Guess God has a way to use me.

So, we went to see the doctor because I demanded a closure. The doctor explained that the virus went virulent and mother had a sudden collapse. She never had any medical problems. The doctor said her whole body just gave up. He said if not, part of her will be paralysed as she stopped breathing for a long time and her brains stop functioning.

Today when I see how sudden the old lady turned for the worse comforted me that yeah,things happened. Nothing we can do about it. The old lady is now lovingly cared by the children in a special unit. May she recovers soon.

As for my mother, I remembered telling my distraught siblings and nephews and nieces that probably that was how my mother had wanted it. To be quick and not to burden us.

This hospital stay also humbled me. I used to have first class private room stay. Since none of us use, hubby told me he will pay less premium for medical insurance and reduce to twin bedded. When he asked me, I said ok lah, not that we will want to be hospitalised. Yesterday, I had forgotten and thought I would be having a single room. But I guess being here with another person had revealed to me some things that I had kept in my memories.

Old people health can just deteriorate really fast. Simple cold or infection can lead to death or near death like the woman who is probably in her 30s. So treasure life, live it, love fully and never regret.

It has been 12 years now

Dear Vincent

You would have been 13 now. I have plenty of 13 years old in my class so I do not need to visualise how big 13 years old are.

Today, I suddenly thought what you would have been like if you are still around. Sensible as I am, I know you had taken a better path. I know that 12 years ago, on May 1, 2002, you probably had decided you had enough. It was like a marathon run for you just by breathing, so said Dr. Cheang. All those drugs they injected into you and force fed down the tubes probably worn you out.

So yeah, 12 years later, I am actually glad you chose to stop breathing altogether and changed our world. It was hard but nevertheless, it was doable for us. In Christ.

Even now, if I hear the song ‘Winds Beneath My Wings’ it still scream ‘Vincent’s song’. So yeah, mommy never forget you. And guess what? I no longer wonder if you still remember us. Jesus did gave us many examples about life and death. So I won’t ask the question because I know faith will somehow reunite us one day. Or not. It doesn’t matter because you were never really far apart from my heart.

So, happy anniversary up there on heaven.

Next week, I am going back to UMMC PICU and walked the path where you had been. The long and crooked corridors, the quiet ward with machines beeping all the time, the gloomiest place on earth where parents prayed for their children to survive. The place where they wrapped you up in some old white-turn-gray bedsheet that costed me RM5, the metal casket that the morgue’s mandatory rule was to put you inside, but saved by Prof’s kindness who let me carry you.

Well, May 1, 2002 had been the darkest day in my life but I know it was also the turning point. I found God. Your brothers embraced Christ’s teachings and we got a little brother after you. So, yeah, all is not lost because we found God.

“Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” And I say yes! I believe. And if anyone can believe Jesus’s Beatitudes of Blessed are they who mourn, they have truly lived like I am now. Praise to You, Lord Jesus.

Mother-in-law’s legacy fulfilled for this CNY

Today is the 5th day of Chinese New Year and I can finally put up my legs with a relaxed mind. No more list of things to buy, things to do and time schedules plotting in my brains.

I do wonder if it is worth the trouble, the cost and the works. And I think it is worth it.

P1090934

So many times, families only get together at funeral wakes. Ever notice how we Chinese only come together at senior members of the family’s death?

They will put on mourning clothes, go through mourning rituals and then, every goes their separate ways immediately after the body is buried/burned.

That is so wrong, isn’t it? That’s why it is good for us to have family members gather at Ching Ming and Chinese New Year. At least everyone gets to see and meet everyone minus the need to appear sad and mournful.

Many young people, including my sons probably do not see the importance of having family gatherings. I myself hate these sort of things when I was younger and just married. It was like putting ourselves on parade for scrutiny.

People wants to see how well your kids behave, how much your spouse is earning, how clever are your children, how neat you are as a housewife, how pretty is your girlfriend/handsome is your boyfriend and if they are making a lot of money etc etc. Yawnnnn….

sons

When family gets together they seem to have that ‘authority’ to probe deeper than regular strangers. That is why young people hate wasting several hours of their lives going through this ordeal.

 

 

 

I am not sure it is good or bad, but I dont really care about the who, what, how etc of each other’s lives. Which is why I am one aunty who never ask annoying questions. Just come, eat, say hello to the others and bye-bye.

I still find it weird how children from the same parents, born of the same family, grow up in the same house can somehow drift far apart. Well, if they are living far away, it is understandable. But if they are living within 10KM radius, I think something needs to be looked into.

Someday, I hope all my four sons will somehow get back together at least once a year. After all, I have showered them the same love, gave them the same support and though they are not all the best friends forever due to characters differences, I want to be comforted that at least they will do it in memory of me.

During these gatherings, whether my in-laws or my own siblings, I do find comfort that if our deceased parents/parents-in-law look down from heaven (or wherever you believe they are now), they will be happy to see that their offsprings are there as their children.

So yes it is quite disappointing that somehow, some of them have drifted off (those who live within 10 KM radius LOL) ….and they usually do not give us much chance to attempt to get them to come together. That makes me wonder – what do they do on Chinese New Year? I suppose we can only do so much. Tell them, ask them and whether they find it in their heart to come or not, at least we have tried.

Through the two and a half decades I have been married, some have died. Each year or maybe a few years apart, we lost some members of family, we welcomed new babies. The cycle of life.

Carrying on that mother-in-law legacy

My living room is decked with Chinese New Year decor. We have a huge big red lantern at the front door, plenty of corny greetings on the wall which I have no idea what is written there and the mandatory Chinese pussy willow with the hanging stuffs.

plum blossoms

Last year, we didnt do any Chinese New Year gathering because we just moved into this new place and everything was topsy turvy. But this year, I took a leap of faith and opened and Event page. Invited all my in-laws, from the sisters of my husband to their children to their grandchildren and even a great-grandniece of my hubby.

Technically, I am a great grand-aunt. Not many people have that privilege so I must treasure it. Frankly, I dont even know what the little girl is supposed to call me. Her mother will call me ‘kim poh’ or grand-aunt. So maybe I am a kim-chor.

I said it is a leap of faith because I may have to single-handedly deal with feeding all my in-laws which can number up to 40-50 people or maybe more. My two sons have pre-warned me that they will need to work during CNY due to the expected high number of guests at their hotel/restaurant.

Chinese pussy willow

However, I told myself that I shouldn’t be afraid to deal with it because I had been doing this since I got married. Which means I have had twenty five years of experience dealing with the in-laws. Except that I forget one point – I am getting older and hence, am not as energetic as when I was in my 20s and early 30s. The number of the clans have grown and multiply.

But I am a queen of cheats. I can dish up meals using all the cheats of pre-made curry paste, one-pot dish and more. I dont know why but suddenly, I thought of my late mother-in-law’s reminder that her children must gather together during Chinese New Year.

Not many daughter-in-law has that privilege of being given the task. Moreover, my husband is the youngest. So yeah, I am going to host a lunch for my in-laws on the first day of Chinese New Year. It will be like a tradition from the parents-in-law time. I dont actually fancy doing it because it is hard labour. Yes, it involves sweats and muscles. But I think these little efforts have sealed in my children the importance of family.

These sort of family values can only be instilled when we actually practise it.

Currently, I am focussed on finishing my work. I hope to get everything published and printed by end of this week. Come Saturday, it will be down to serious business of carrying out my mother-in-law’s legacy. Though I don’t pray to her like the previous faith I adopted, I think she will be smiling from heaven.

Christmas is coming, once again

It is that time of the year when I change my blog theme to the snowing one. Used to be crazy over all the plugins available to make my blogs much nicer.

But somehow, the desire to blog is lost once Facebook comes to town. Kinda sad that this blog seems to be gathering dust. But I am not letting go of my URL. Oh no. That is my signature. Brand name.

This Christmas, I have two working adult sons. Both have been away in overseas and for the first time I feel the meaning of ‘coming home’. One has returned, the other is coming back this weekend. My house is more or less decorated with all things green, silver and gold.

So yeah I am ready for Christmas.

Moved!

Today is 1st of October and finally we can officially say we have completed moving. It has taken us a full month to move. I think we threw away 30% of our belongings, many of them still in working order.

Of course, throwing doesn’t mean dispose those things as thrash. Instead, we got a trash lorry to come to our rented house whenever they are free to take away our unwanted things.

They were a happy lot cos many of the things are still useable or sellable. It was a win-win situation and glad that part sort of solve itself as we do not have time transporting stuffs to salvation army or any charity. Plus in the process, they helped to throw the rubbish away while salvaging whatever they like.

Now, I am sitting on a bean bag in the living room. Staying in an apartment is good because I am never too far away from people. I wouldn’t dare to do that, ie sitting in the living downstairs while everyone else are upstairs. It is not only spooky, it is scary too. Thieves have broken into our house before and it is no joking matter to visualise some strange people walking around with our sharp, pointy sushi knife. We found the knife in our backyard the next day.

There are still several boxes that aren’t unpack yet. God knows when we can finish unpacking and storing those things away. Life is still a mess. But at least our kitchen is functionable and we can cook and eat.

I ended up with 2 days MC because I over exert during the main moving day. Though we hired a lorry with four assistants, there were things that I wanted to move myself. Lucky the backache wasn’t bad and now I have excuse not to carry anything heavy or do any heavy chores. It is always, “OH my doctor say he is going to send me to physio if I get another backache.” So, I get to sit down like a sloth.

So, 1st October, 2012 – We are back to our old apartment. We save RM1,200 in rental, another RM300 in housekeeping charge cos our relative has stopped working. Told my sons they can have the money if they keep the house clean without Ah Mik our relative. At least my little boy now knows how to wash his plates and cups after a meal. And mop the floor too.

The place here is sooo much cooler than our rented terrace house in Tanjung Bungah and we do not need the aircond on most nights and most days. We can easily save another RM200 in electricity. Our previous place we use RM400+ per month of electricity. Now we have shut down one of our two fridges cos we don’t need to use it.

Both hubby and I also saved a lot in petrol as he is nearer to the bridge while I am nearer to Komtar by half the distance.

So, yes, to another six wonderful months before we settle down at the new condo in Oasis. *cheers!*