Hubby just returned from hospital and told me his bro-in-law has signed the consent form to get one of his kidney removed by surgery. He has gone for radiotherapy to stop the bleeding but failed. If he bleeds further, he may be too week to undergo any surgery. So, the doctor has booked the O.T. and ICU and they are just waiting for a schedule. It can be today or tomorrow.

In as much as the surgery sounds positive, we know it is highly risky because this is a major surgery. It is not as simple as open up, take out the kidney and stitch him back. The cancer has spread to the liver but the active cancer cells are in the kidney.

Someone wrote to me (Beth) about something. Thanks a lot, Beth but unfortunately, I dare not even pray for him openly. If anything happens, the repercussion is great. The blame will fall on me. So, I will just quietly, discreetly pray that he will be fine. I hope all of you will also lift him up in your prayers.

This morning I went to buy a packet of alphabet pasta which is very tiny pasta meant for toddlers. I blended the boiled vege like preparing baby’s food. I feel so blessed that I at least get to do something for him. I lovingly cut a piece of onion, a pip of garlic, one button mushroom, one floret of brocolli, five leaves of spinach, a tiny piece of potato and a few slices of fish. It is really a chore, I admit it. But I am lucky that I get to ‘chore’ it. When he is well, I know I had helped. If not, I know I had tried.

But on the other hand, I am very disappointed that both his children aren’t back yet. One will be back end of the month and the other, no indication yet. I want to be angry with them but what’s the point? It won’t bring them back fast enough to see their father wheeled into OT.

I don’t know lah…it is really none of my business but being involved with them for so long, I still feel utterly pissed. I can’t reveal all but I hope in future, if I am in such a situation, not knowing what will happen the next day, I want to see my own kids first. I don’t care what’s the price. (anyway, one day if they should stumbled upon this post and feel angry with me, I am going to tell them, it is none of your business how I feel. You are not in control of how I think and feel about you and if I had written anything embarrassing about you, too bad…Your auntie is a blogger, live with it.)

Anyway….I hope he sails through surgery, get his liver cancer cells zapped by radiotherapy and fight against the odds. The cancer is a stage 3. And we know that is bad news, no matter how positive we try to think.

Now, for something lighter…many days ago, when I just started preparing his drinks and meals, I would mumbled in the kitchen, “God bless the lalang I brew” (lalang - some kind of pak chi chou), “God bless the soup I cook” and my son said, “Ma…you siao or what lah? Think God so free ah?”

I told him, “If not how wor, later, your IBS auntie (who is super kuat complain) say this wrong, that wrong. I nervous you know…later eat already, lau sai, I mampus wei. So help me God.”

I am going to prepare another meal for dinner tonight and hope he gets to eat it before his surgery. The nurses haven’t put a Fasting order yet so I guess it will be more than 12 hours before surgery. I hope this will be one of the many meals I have to ‘chore’ it. Or….

Oh yeah, earlier when hubby came back and told me about the surgery, I went….. “Surgery! Remove kidney? Like this I must go church pray pray and tell Mother Mary to help pray liao. But now afternoon, church deserted, I dare not go alone. You follow me? ”

He said, ” Kenot…..Thomas cup live telecast.”

Men. *roll eyes*

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I got a confession to make. When I was very small, my mader always tell me story about Hansel and Gretel. But her version is damn scary wei. You know, the mader of the 5xmom, sure double kerng. She told me the old witch fatten up the kids and then, kreaaakkk, kreakk…kreakkkk…she chews off the finger bones. Finger by finger. Each day, she ate parts by parts. Toes, then the flesh….

My mom is not English literate and I am not Mandarin literate so there is no bed-time stories book but her own cerita. So, night after night, this mader of mine told me the same old crunchy fingers story. We don’t get Disney Channel, RTM pun tarak, TV pun tarak. So, I don’t know how many years my mom poisoned my mind with the same crispy, crunchy fingers, story.

Then, I got two neighbours’ grandmas who are super weird. One is a strict Nyonya who must have her baju Nyonya starched and ironed and the other is a super thin, sanggol grandma. Very much like my mom’s description lah. Those witches story? (God bless their souls)

After that, when my father was ailing, I wasn’t allowed to visit him at the hospital. So, all I remember about my father was a sick, ailing old man and a dead body. Some distance memory that old people die and they are scary. I have no father figure, sort of.

Next in my list of scary old folk is my father in-law. He got cancer of the stomach, was very sick and we fast-forward our wedding before he died. That time, I not yet ‘kam cheng’ with my father-in-law. So, again, scary old, sick man.

But you know what happened to the story teller? My mader lah. She sendiri diam-diam passed away while she was in good health. So, she was a picture of health to me. No scary old lady munching on little kids fingers. Pandai hor? Take a supersonic jetplane to heaven with no baggages. (actually it was very sad lah) Never even say goodbye, one night here, next few hours gone.

Then, it is my mother-in-law’s moment. I also not very ‘kam cheng’ with my MIL. Cannot help it cos feelings must come naturally. She got a stroke, in coma and was in the old folks home for a long time. Physically, I never take care of her when she was very, very ill. Scary, right? What if she opened her eyes and suddenly, bite my fingers?

And I have always been afraid of old people. Whether alive or sick or deceased ones. I have put four of them into the coffin, Taoist style, wearing clothes, feeding them etc (the corpses I mean). Taoist funerals are very freaky one.

Please pardon my way of describing the above. But today, I have passed that hurdle. I just visited my sister’s father-in-law. They almost arranged his funeral yesterday but today, he is rather alert. He is very old and very sick. But being a big boss of a dimsum restaurant, his will is still very strong and not giving up, just yet.

I don’t know what prompted me. But I walked over to him, spoke in Cantonese, which I have the vocab of a 3 years old. I told him, “Charn-kah-lou-yeh….Ngo hai Amy’s mui. Lei hou dik mei?”

He nodded. I held his warm and strong palms. I carried on speaking to him. He is wearing an oxygen mask but he is not cooperative and had pulled out every other tubes. Feeding tube, IV line, everything attached to him. He insisted to feed by mouth. Notty uncle.

I continue, “Lei oi teng yi sang wa…..moi kum kwai kah. Kwai kwai teng yi sang wa…..fai dit hou lor. Chi mm chi…”

Chewah…I can speak so well. All his children have visited him. He basically has no more baggage. He has the blessings of his children to do ‘what’ is best. Tomorrow they will need to give him dialysis because his kidneys are failing. His lungs are failing. His heart is not strong.

So, I silently laid my hands on his chest, discreetly say a long prayer for him. And I asked, “Lord Jesus, please send Your comfort on him and strengthen him and shelter him from any pain. Have mercy on him and all the patients here and Just Do It!”

Then, I told him, “Ngo kiu san pou yau lei, kwai kwai teng yi sang wa…” (I asked san = god to protect and bless you, be good and listen to the doctor)

Yesterday, they already arranged everything to bring him back to Ipoh. They have also called the Buddist monk to say the final rites. But well….uncle probably have something to wait for.

My nephew, his eldest grandson is getting married on June 14. Maybe he wants to drink that sam pou cha.

So, Chow KW, get your wife-to-be back home ASAP, get her to give yeh-yeh a cup of tea and tell your yeh-yeh he now has an additional grand daughter-in-law. Leave the rest to the Lord’s Will. (Btw, my nephew has embraced Christ recently. Praise the Lord) Tell your mom to prepare an angpow on his behalf and make it like a wedding tea ceremony. I am sure that’s why your yeh-yeh is still waiting. He is in much discomfort and he shouldn’t be in this situation. Call me if you want me to be the tai kham por. LOL.

Ah yee-yee did this on my wedding too. My father-in-law was also dying and I gave him tea before I had the wedding ceremony. But he held on until after my wedding ceremony which is a few days later. I wanted to tell your mom but your koo-cheh, sok-sok and the uncles are there so I dare not say. Later they take broom and chase me. Moreover, it is more dramatic if you read this slowly and digest it with Jane. (hope I get the name right?) Your grandpa is very Chinaman, so I guess he wants to see the eldest grandson get married first. June 14 for an ailing old man like him is full of agonies. And your parents and uncles and aunties all so old already, cannot live with these stresses and false alarms so often) Do what Jesus prompts you, ok?

So, yeah, I am so thankful that I don’t have fear of the aged and sick people. Thank you, Lord.

LOL, I just warned my old man (hubby lah). I told him, “Next time ha….you better fast-fast go. Or else, you wait I go first, then you stay behind.”

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I am always the notty-notty one because if I feel strongly for something, I will have the balls to do it. Many, many years ago, I drafted a list of things to pray for and emailed it to my church priest (Father S * I even have the email here in 2004) and told him to pray for these group of mothers because if anything, they are the ones who need it most than us all, the happy mothers. He told me he would. What I did can be seen as cutting through hierarchy. But who cares…

I forgot about this until today and I thought I can squeeze it at the last minute. So, I wrote a list :

Can we pray for these mothers?

1) Mothers who are abandoned by their children;
2) Women who are longing for children;
3) Mothers whose children have returned to the Lord; (I have friends who dreaded this day because they are parents but no longer have their kid. My prayers for you, Dr. D)
4) and mothers who are battling illness and are rendered helpless in taking care of their kids (when I see someone in her wheelchair with her four kids, it always break my heart)

But unfortunately, I was too late. It wasn’t part of the ’schedule’ because there is already a prayer for all mothers. I am a little disappointed. I am totally, absolutely, geram-ly disappointed. To me, what good is all the pomp and pageantry and joy and roses and gifts and all the smoke and all the ‘imports’ when we cannot fit in to think of these mothers and remember them for the pain, sufferings and loneliness they feel on this so-called Happy Mothers’ Day?

So, yeah, big deal it is a happy mothers day. Sad mothers, lonely mothers, suffering mothers, disappointed mothers and any other women who are infertile, you shall have to wait. Tomorrow is our happy mothers special day.

**OK, end of rants. No one is to comment on the above personal rant, ok?**

Now, regular post, ok?

So, my church has a fund-raising event, selling overpriced roses and teddy bears.

Usual lah, get into the compound, kena from left, right and center, “Lilian, come and get your roses.”

Me : Never mind lah…later *grins fakely*

My #2 and I went in first and were seated. Aiyoyo, sweat…..all the other women have bunches of it worrr….

Then, my #3 son came and asked me if he can go and buy a sandwich (after his cathecism class). I gave him fifty bucks and told him,

“Nah, go get your sandwich and then, buy one rose. Get some small changes or else I have no money to give for offerings.”

And my #2 lectured me….

“Hah….peer pressure lah. Submit to materialism. Why need roses to show the love? We never show love any other day, issit?”

I retorted, “HOI! I am your mother or you are my mother ah? You see, they got flowers mah. I don’t have, mana mau taruh ini muka? If not, people later say I kedekut never support their funds raising mah…Cilaka lu”

(two priceless joys and two overpriced teddy bears)

My #2 son somemore rub it in….”Chey…..you so kiasu lah. What people have, you also must have.” Last last, kena 2 x RM15 teddy bears and 1 stalk of rose ‘cos my two kids fought over one teddy bear.

Anyway…I took damn cun photos today. My #2 is assigned to be the Youth Group orrrhhh-si-fail photographer. But he needs to take video and photos. So, I pun help him lah. The 100 photos I took all dem cun. You know why? Because my cilaka sensor in my brain caused all the photos to senget sebelah. The right side is higher than the left side. Hahaha, cos Jesus is seated at the right hand of the Father mah….(CHS photos over here)

HAPPY NIAMAH’S DAY LAH!

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I left for church at 5.30 pm while hubby picked up the kids from cathecism class and brought them to the park. He told me he has live football match at 7.45 pm. So, we won’t be able to go out for dinner but he said he will ‘tapau’. I suggested to him, “Haiyah, why don’t you try cooking dinner then? We have extended sermon so I won’t be back till late.”

7.45 pm, I reached home. I can smell rice cooking because the Thai fragrant rice leaves a very nice fragrance. But guess what? No dishes. He was already glued to the TV.

So, I asked, “HUH? dishes leh? Eat rice with soya sauce kah?”

Eyes glued to the TV, he said, “Nay, got fried dace with black beans and baked beans. Open them, mah can eat liao lor.”

Men.

I then took out a packet of pork grown on trees (vegetarian meat) from the freezer. Dump it into water. I went to change clothes.

And tadaaa…..30 minutes, dinner is served.

Baked beans and eggs.

Stir fried mushroom, celery and vegetarian pork.

Leftover lotus root soup. And one more left over tauyew bak.

Last week, ManU and Chelsea caused me to miss the Sikh party. This week ManU and West HamU, caused me to speed cooking with make-up and mascara. I hate you ManU!

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25th April is my loukong’s birthday.

18 years ago, when he was 30 years old, he celebrated his 30th birthday at the hospital, waiting for the stubborn firstborn son to arrive. (the doctor picked the date, not I asked wan)

The firstborn son refused to share the same birthday with his papa and decided to come out the next day. No matter what the doctor did, he said, “Nah ah, let my father enjoys his own birthday. I will wait for the next day.”

So, today 25th April is exclusively my dear loukong’s birthday.

The best husband.
The best father.

And thank God for the most opened minded person who is ‘multi-religion‘ and yet, the most helpful, kindest and generous to the community in general. This man can spends his weekend hanging buntings for my church (eventhough he is not a Christian and beh tahan fanatic ones) and he mysteriously removed all the DAP posters from our taman. Mysteriously because they missed our taman and those posters were rotting there. So, he took a pen knife and cut them down to avoid DAP kena fine. If any aunties or uncles have a problem with their locks, windows or whatever, he will be the first to bring his set of tools and help them.

So…like this so nice man, where to find worrrr….Of course, married to the 5xmom lah.

P/S : He doesn’t read my blog (lucky!) so no need to wish lah.

Wuah….I found the previous posts on my blog.

2005 birthday (Warning : dem loman, dem geli post ‘cos back then, no one reads my blog so I can write however mushy I want)

2006 - Too busy ranting about Penang bridge jam

2007 - Oh how my kids have grown from last year

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We went to Queensbay Mall and they have this DIGI FearFactor promo with live snakes, scorpions and spiders. If we top RM30, we get to eat :

Deep fried silkworms. Very nice, lemak, crunchy and buttery.

Crunchy fried grasshopper. Taste like fried shrimps, only crunchier. That one is my 12 years old posing for me. I ate both silkworms and grasshoppers because they are darn nice, ok?

Don’t stare at my palm, I got very hard life wan, I know.

Eating grasshoppers and silkworms not enough, we later went to eat char koay teow. Today is my last day of detox mah…Buka puasa lah.

Besides getting free snacks of silkworms and grasshoppers, I also get a lucky dip. Put my hand into a big jar of live crickets to find a lizard. Take out the lizard and yahoooo! I got a RM50 DIGI top up. Lucky day indeed. *sigh* My son said, “Ma…you are weird you know? Eating worms with all those people watching.” My reply, “Who cares…bloggable materials, die-die also must do.”

Dead, deep fried worms I no sked. But I dare not even look at those live, crawling ones. Burp.

*lizard is a rubber one

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Early in the morning…..

we went to…..

and gave a lot of million bucks to my parents…..

After that, my family went for nasi kandar in Jalan Tengah’s flat. We surrounded by Da Ma Cai and Sports Toto. My late mother took care of my two eldest sons when they were babies.

5xmom : Eh, you know ah…last time when both of you were babies, Ah Mah always strike number with both your birth certs number.

Sons : Then, come, we go and buy. *pointing to the Da Ma Cai*

5xmom : Cannot…against my faith. But wait a minute…let’s go. I haven’t buy number before. Come, I give you life lessons.

So, #1 and #2 son followed me while atm was sitting down, eating.

We went in. I filled in the little chit.

All of us : Eh, apa itu IBox?

Me : Maybe, buy IBox, get iPod, iPhone, iMac as prize ah?

So, I took the chit to my hubby and showed him.

He took a look and said, “Siao ah? Why you buy IBox?”

Me : Apa itu IBox?

Atm : That one is for the 24 rotations (jee chap si peng) (you take four digits and turn it 24 times)

Both sons ROTFLTAO, “You see lah, later your mader go and pay time and they say it costs RM300.”

When we have finished, we walked out.

#2 son : Eh, mader, you said against your faith wor. Why you still gamble ah?

Me : You know what Moses said? “Honour thy mother and father.” That’s what I am doing. Ah Mah used to buy your birth certs number and she used to take you two boys to the Magnum at Bukit Jambul when you were babies. This is to remember her. Not gamble. This is preserving tradition. Boleh faham kah?

Sons : Yalah, everything also you got excuses wan…

So, I gave you readers three digits. 880, 994 and the number from Da Ma Cai 8608. You lucky or not up to you lah.

(and don’t Christians preach to me, what I do is none of anyone’s business. If you don’t get the true essence of my post, please shaddap)

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