Tamagotchi release reminds me I should be Mom of the Century

I just read on FB that Bandai released a new Tamagotchi. That reminds me of that agonising months and maybe years when I have to take care of its shit when my eldest son was in school.

I still remember I bought the Tamagotchi from Yaohan which had long closed down. It was rather expensive but as parents, we never think about those things as it was the ultimate digital toy to own at that time.

The Tamagotchi is one slave driver. You got to feed it, clean the shits and without cleaning, it gets sick. So much work over a simple gadget like that.

If you still have the old version, try selling it. I read that the thing which cost about USD17 is now worth USD130. I doubt we have ours cos when the kids have grown up, it got lost.

So are you going to buy the newly released Tamagotchi and torture yourself with the attention seeking squeaking digital toy

The mob mentality kills

Am reflecting on the last days of Jesus. Today (Sunday) Jesus entered Jerusalem and was hailed as King. The people cheered and welcomed him by waving palms. However, within a few days, people shouted for Him to be crucify.

I bet those crowd did not really know what they are doing except to follow the mob. If one says so, the rest follows.

I am seeing that a lot online on social media sites.

So in life always use the mind given to us. Think, ponder, see for ourselves and never follow the crowd. Be the brave one to stand out, to stick to our gut feelings and to stay till the end. When Jesus was carrying His cross, only a few were left to follow Him. Only a few continued to hang on, follow through and never leave Him. I prefer to be that few and never with the mob. It is always easier and more popular with the mob but it is meaningless as we do not challenge our own mind.

So blog is not dead?

The other day, I attended a social media course on advertising. I get frustrated when there are so many tips on advertising but no one tells me where those advertisements are going to land.

So, I asked, where is the content? You are selling something and yet, where is the ad going to lead you? Well, it is not products but ideas and opinions. So where do they go?

Guess what? The answer is blog or website. Like my Chan Lilian dot net. So this will be the place to store important info, brainwashing stuffs, propaganda and things people search.

I was just looking through some of my old blogging pals and they have turned their blogs (once very famous) into billboards. Some sell technology, some sell foods, some sell fashion etc.

I am not good with selling stuffs because I am just too obstinate. I am too full of opinions which cannot be changed. So, my blogs lie dormant but not dead.

I think my blogs died during the hey days of the Pay Per Post but I am not regretting them because those brought me good money. Now I am just too lazy to lift my fingers to explore but who knows, there are still money to be made out there.

Have to get over this lethargy and be prepared for the next big one. Big what? Election. Meanwhile, it will be a scribble board for me.

Longest 5 days of my life

Five days and counting in the hospital. Even my nails have grown too long. Have not seen the sunlight in the open. Twenty four hours times five days in aircond sort of suck the life out of me. No chance of sweating and maximum number of steps I made is under 1,000 per day.

Of course, I am not complaining but jotting down these. In fact, I am thankful that I took the decision to visit Lam Wah Ee and not the government clinic as I intended to do on Monday morning.

The doctor said I have staph bacteria. They took samples of my urine, sputum, nose and throat swabs on Monday. Lovingly keep those in jelly in the lab and feed those bacterias to find out whats inside me. Like what NHS said on their medical website – Staphylococcal infections are a group of infections caused by the bacterium Staphylococcus. You may have heard them referred to as “staph infections”.

I know a lot about Staph because last time, when Vincent was in ICU, that was the most feared infection as baby like him has no immunity and hence, can die because of it.

I am allergic to bactrium and penicillin and hence, that made me hard to be treated. Although I had five days of antibiotics injected into me, I cannot say I am 100% well. So the doctor kept me in here.

I was also referred to an ENT. And even Mr. ENT agreed that I cannot go home yet. So yeah, another day of porridge for morning, day and night. Glad that I got admitted because if I had been rotting at home, I probably would end up with urinary tract infection which is the most uncomfortable feelings. I could probably get pneumonia and that will complicated things further.

So five days of putting me in bed, eating porridge, humbling experience of being the sick, the hungry and the weak.

Just called my boy and told him he should visit me because it makes Lent mission complete. He can tell the world he had done something good like Jesus asked – The weak, the sick, the hungry, the prisoner (prisoners get better foods than me), the naked (cos I had to rely on him to bring me my clothes from home) and the poor (cos I have only few bucks left after I buy my own lunch extras LOL).

So yeah, God has kept me very cheerful. I have a lot of time to read the Bible, a lot of time to be silent and reflect, a lot of time to pray too. I has set out to be on vegetarian fasting but now, I got more than I bargain for. Though I have some chicken and fish (for protein sake), the rest of the foods are out of my touch. Five days of porridge is my Lent sacrifice. By Easter, I can be proud that I have started on a clean slate with five days (and counting) of solitude, porridge eating retreat. Thanks to medical insurance, of course.

Hospital stay an eye opening and revelation

Monday, I merrily drove myself to Lam Wah Ee as I thought I just need a batch of oral antibiotics to get my thick yellowish phelgm cleared. As a hospital stay expert, with Vincent’s 7 months in ICU here and the son with asthma, I already know what to expect.

So, I dressed for office, message the office admin I will go in after lunch. But oh oh, the MO found that my white blood cells were low (I think). So I got admitted.

At first I felt kinda silly to be hospitalised for a mere sore throat. Actually it is not as simple but I probably has high tolerance. The jaw hurts, the tongue hurts, the ears hurt, the eye even had discharge. The body ache, feverish, chills but all rather mild and I was still ok.

But God has a way to tell me Dont Play Play. The girl next door had been admitted to ICU for five days just because of a cold (pneumonia I suppose) and she had tracheostomy. According to her grandma, the doctors told them that they didnt know if she could make it. Tracheostomy is when the doctor poke a hole in your throat, and stuff the pipe to help you breathe. In normal circumstances, they will intubate you, as in open up your mouth with some spatula and shove the pipe down.

I know all about ventilator, intubation and stuff from Vincent’s long ICU stay. So I know how serious one can get from just an infection. So I felt much better and less silly to be warded for just simple infection. It was like wow, Lilian, you do not want that to happen to you, right??

 

So, that girl left and one old lady came in middle of the night. I heard she lost consciousness during her sleep. So she was warded next to me. But midway, she had seizure and the nurses rushed into my room to give her suction and oxygen. Again, Vincent’s mom know all about seizure, SPO2, pulse, BP etc.

Kinda of deja vu for me. But here, something connected to me. What happened to the old lady was so sudden. Now I understand how my mom had died. 20 years ago, she was warded for a bad cold. After we ensured she was all comfortable, we went home to sleep. I was 7 months pregnant with David, my third son.

Next morning, we woke up to the news that mother had died. Dying was never in my mind at all. She was taking care of my two older sons. The night before she even told me what to do with Michael who was about 4 years old. Michael was extra clingy for some reasons and insisted my mother who had a cold to go to the school van to carry him down. I suppose he as a child had the premonition.

I was 7 months pregnant and probably, by instinct I held back some emotions as I do not want to get into distress. Plus at that time, I had to deal with mother’s two favourite grandsons, age 6 and 4. So, I was the strong one in the family.

I remembered I went to Loh Guan Lye or is it Adventist, heck I cannot remember now to see the doctor why mom can die just like that. At first, my husband and I went to the morgue because I wanted to see her myself. Strangely, no matter how we asked for directions, we never got there because we couldn’t find the morgue.

I guess its the divine way of shielding me the pregnant woman from going into morgues. Anyway, later on, I had been to morgues many times, even for strangers. Guess God has a way to use me.

So, we went to see the doctor because I demanded a closure. The doctor explained that the virus went virulent and mother had a sudden collapse. She never had any medical problems. The doctor said her whole body just gave up. He said if not, part of her will be paralysed as she stopped breathing for a long time and her brains stop functioning.

Today when I see how sudden the old lady turned for the worse comforted me that yeah,things happened. Nothing we can do about it. The old lady is now lovingly cared by the children in a special unit. May she recovers soon.

As for my mother, I remembered telling my distraught siblings and nephews and nieces that probably that was how my mother had wanted it. To be quick and not to burden us.

This hospital stay also humbled me. I used to have first class private room stay. Since none of us use, hubby told me he will pay less premium for medical insurance and reduce to twin bedded. When he asked me, I said ok lah, not that we will want to be hospitalised. Yesterday, I had forgotten and thought I would be having a single room. But I guess being here with another person had revealed to me some things that I had kept in my memories.

Old people health can just deteriorate really fast. Simple cold or infection can lead to death or near death like the woman who is probably in her 30s. So treasure life, live it, love fully and never regret.

Adios, 2016

The year is almost coming to an end.

I have a bag of medals that I have earned. Whether it is running, cycling or some other activities.

I have a stash of money that I have somehow did not spend. Though my salary is not much, I am glad that I did not spend much either and have some left.

I have thousands of photos that I had snapped along the way, daily to remind me that I have a privileged life. It may not be luxurious or very special but I have fun living daily. Not a day passed by when I felt too sad or too depressed to take a picture.

Life has been good to me. Nothing to worry health wise. Never went a day short of money.

Minor worries and lousy stuffs did happen but nothing that affected me.

Travel wise, been to Hanoi, up the hills in Sapa and Hokkaido. So again, I am blessed to be able to travel with my family and my adult sons.

My BFF said I narcisstic and never keep any frens for long. I reminded him I had frended him like 6 years, so shut up. But yeah, some ladies are very hard to keep as friends. Women tend to think too much, puak puak (or tribal) too much. So fren-wise, didn’t make much difference to me if I have a host of friends or not. Still, I got two who stand my nonsense, emo and perangai. So yeah, thankful for that too.

Church wise, I didn’t ponteng church too much. I still have the vigour to serve, doing little things. Never like to do big things because I believe Christ is also laidback, cincai and low profile.

Work wise, I am blessed too. Had been given tough situation but I handled them well. I think the hardest task this year was when I was left behind in Komtar while the MACC took away my Chief Minister. I was like What now? What do I say? And glad I have the foresight to find the right words to update for him. It was See you tomorrow or something like that. I knew the whole world is looking at his update so it was very very tough.

And my scariest moment was when I was shoved into the room where there was a closed door meeting. That moment when it really dawned on me that the MACC is serious in taking him away. No time to feel fearful nor tearful but my hands did shake a lot.

So, I can stand tall, look back at 2016 and said it has been good to me. Oh except one silly episode when I went to a park and cried and cried over a decision I made. But that has been solved when someone said sorry.

Oh another episode of cried and cried because partly due to fatigue, partly due to unwinding of scary shits that I did not have time to digest.

So yeah, bye bye 2016. Thank you for being good to me.

And welcome 2017, I am ready to fight come what may. Elections? Court case? Fats? Wateva, I will fight it all. And I will live life to the fullest.

I almost achieved all my 2016 resolution. Except for travelling solo.

A weekend well spent

This morning, I was almost in tears when I read some of the affirmation notes from Form 2 & 3. I was touched because they had written really sincere feelings. Never expect these from them as I was expecting cliches stuffs. I am glad that I had taken my time to write each a personal note as well.

It is now almost 9 pm and I finally get to rest my feet, tucked in bed in my aircond bedroom. I still have to go dry my clothes, ie transfer the wet ones to the dryer. Two batches more to go. So not entirely the ‘I am free for the weekend.’

One of the girl said how I have continued to talk to her though I am no longer her teacher. I am glad the students know that when I said I love them in class, I really mean it. When I assure them I am open, and never take me as their mother figure, I also mean it.

After so many psychology and counselling courses I attended, I know that I cannot fit into the mother-figure role because I am not the regular woman. I want the youths to know that I don’t use the same benchmark other parents use on them.

Often youth faces problem because of this parental-child issues. I take pride that in the past, youths and young adults who faced problems did turn to me. So yeah, when I read the affirmation notes from the 14 and 15 years old, I know they don’t see this aunty with expectations for please thank you but like I said to them, Life sucks, deal with it.

So, this weekend was very hectic. On Saturday, I spent 9-5 in church and managed to share about Growth with the youths. Then, I rushed home and went for cycling at night.

I am glad that someone threw me into the deep end of the ocean a while back and now, fun rides like last night was just a simple cycling. That’s how I deal with life, find the most difficult one and just jump in and stay afloat. He now declared I am a veteran rider.

That is a big boost of confidence to me. Next Sunday, I have triathlon which involved 800 m of swimming, 24 KM of cycling and 7 KM of running. Now that I am certified as a veteran rider and I had achieved 21KM, the riding and running do not scare me. I just need to remember to keep my sugar level high.

However, the swimming part still worries me. I need to calm my mind and imagine my imaginary coach telling me 800m is only 8 U-turns and just U-turn without trying to flip. Now, I U-turn by standing straight and then, lurch forward.

So, I got home from the cycling at night, about to sleep to prepare for a morning ride with some friends. However, work fell on my lap. And again, Sunday is a working day.

An extraordinary working day because it was one whirlwind of the mind and fingers working while coordinating with a team of colleagues. I am so glad everything went well and I am proud of being able to save the world, once again LOL.

Passing by the Batu Lancang market, I decided to play the domesticated housewife and went marketing. Cook whatever I fancy eating and that turned out to be five dishes. I am amazed how I can cook so easily, so fast and so tasty. Must be my good Hainanese genes.

As if that is not enough, I even went to Zumba. Yesterday, before the cycling, I also jumped in to Zumba. Now if I heard Zumba music, I must start jumping LOL.

Zumba has done great things for me. Without it, I wont have the muscles and staminas to do other things. So yeah, it is going to be a killer week because I got to complete my work as I am going to Langkawi on Thursday till Saturday.

Sunday I am going to jump into the pool and trust God. Just like how Jesus told Simon (or is it Peter? Hmm….) to get down from the boat and walk on water, or is it walk from the beach…hmmm…I am so bad with Bible stuffs but never mind, I have faith that whatever things I do, God is with me.