So here I am with a laptop, refillable coffee and a fillet o’fish at McDonald’s again. This is Week 4 and the headmaster still allows us parents to visit our little boys at breaktime.
This will be the last week. From February onwards, we can no longer enter the school compound. Only parents with special needs children get special passes to do so.
And I am glad! Now I have legitimate reason to stay at home without the need to rush out and then, have to find a place to kill 1 hr 45 minutes till school finish.
But we mothers are suckers. We will complain of the sun, the heat and the scary pigmentation and wrinkles. Yet, we will faithfully stand outside the school compound under the hot CNY sun to wait for the school guard to unlock the gate.
Not only that, I also went home for a short while after I dropped my son and went to the morning market. In that few minutes, I made egg and ham sandwich, the egg not too cooked or it will be too hard, the ham not to dry, just enough to heat through, a dash of mayo plus cut off all the edges of the bread. Don’t forget to cut the sandwich into rectangle so the kid can eat it easily.
Blogger and Facebooker mom like me at least get to boast to the cyberworld what great mommy I am by taking a photo from the right angle to show how delicious egg and ham sandwich can be. Yayayaya, hate me, I am such a show off, no?
And with MMS, I normally take a photo of the kid at breaktime and MMS it to the father. This photo is from previous week. The bowl of food is Malay style bee hoon sup. The canteen food is quite ok, in my opinion. My boy enjoys it. The canteen caterer is a Malay but I had told her to give him only non-spicy foods. I also taught my son to bring the food back to the auntie if they forget and give him nasi lemak. He can also buy something extra if he wants.
The headmaster also allows the Standard One kids to come out for their break five minutes earlier than the Std Two and Three boys. So, there are only a few kids, i.e. about 100 students only. That means, my boy doesn’t need to rush or push for foods with the older children. A thoughtful gesture from the HM, isn’t it?
So, this is the last week I am going to hang around McD or hypermarkets. Next week, I have legitimate reason to stay home during breaktime. I just hope my boy doesn’t twist me around his little finger further by acting kor-lian, “Mommy, other mommies stood outside the gate during breaktime, why you don’t want to do that? You no love me, issit?”
We were in the car, after dinner. Passing by those lanes along Chulia Street. There was an old angmoh couple enjoying their evening walk.
So, I told my little boy, “Next time when you have grown up and papa and I have nothing to do, we also go holiday and walk around aimlessly like them.”
#5 : Next time I pay you fifteen thousand dollar for washing my butts and do everything for me.
Me : How much, fifty or fifteen?
#5 : Fifteen thousand
Me : Then, papa leh, how much he gets? Or he doesn’t get anything?
#5 : Cincailah…I give him ten thousand
Me : *Hands in the air* Yay, I win! I get fifteen, you lose, you get ten only.
Weekend is here again. But weekends mean more work for me. Let’s see…There is replacement class for Chinese New Year. My poor little kid is starting to complain that school is boring and hours so long.
How not to be boring when he has to make repetitive lines and write ABCs? Homework is colouring. I like sekolah kebangsaan, really. Not much homework. I only need to brush up on his BM. Poor kid can’t tell if Helmi is a boy or a girl name in the kata nama khas. Can you blame him? *roll eyes* Tiu, use lah Ali, Ahmad or Abdullah.
Talking about homework, the other day while I was chatting with the gurubesar, a couple went up to him and complained, “Aiyoyo, my son comes to school two weeks already, why he no homework?” There are all kind of parents out there. One mother doesn’t like her son to play sand. There is a patch of sand where they put the flagpole. So boys being boys are attracted to the sands.
This mother told the gurubesar, no money to patch up the ground with cement issit? Nah, RM50 for you to do so. The gurubesar told me, “Aisay, too bad you were not here when she did that.” Kekekeke, I am famous! (for being as kwailan)
I tell you, the gurubesar is sipeh kwailan so if we talk, we just click. I cannot believe the kind of shits parents expect from a public school. If I am the headmistress, I will show these parents the school gate and ask them go find a private school. Go pay a few thousand ringgit per month and you are free to bitch and rant all you want.
Actually, the gurubesar whispered to me he told one parent off, “You go next door to the Chinese school, put your son there for three months. Come back and tell me if you still have the same opinions.”
After so many kids, I can safely say that if we have given them the proper foundation, we are quite safe. But the sad thing is I don’t know what kind of things parent teach their kids nowadays. There are boys who will bring the school canteen plastic cup to the open ground and use that to kick as a ball. Then, there are boys who will kick the butt of the Pak Guard. Many boys just throw their rubbish anywhere on the ground. It is shocking! As far as I am concerned, these are all kurang ajar behaviours. There are acceptable naughty boys characters and there are plain, kurang ajar, rude characteristic that kids learned from their parents.
I have enough of sticking around schools and observe rude kids. There are so many of them. They would bump right into some mothers and when the mothers went, OUCH, the kid doesn’t know the meaning of sorry. They just stop, stare and run again.
Maybe I can ask if the gurubesar if he wants to hire matron Lilian. I will walk around with a rotan, dark rimmed spectacles and whack those rude kids. Hmm….but then again, I don’t even do that to my own.
This video may bring a tear to you. But I hope it also leaves a lasting reminder that each of us, regardless of our roles, have a part in such tragedies. We can do something about it. Be more aware, responsible, take charge and etc to prevent dangers to our children.
Rest in peace, Zi Jun. And to all the Chung Ling boys, support your headmaster and your school. Stand up and let your voice heard that though your school is partly responsible for this, you all accept it as an unfortunate lesson. Don’t let anyone cause any damages to the good reputation of Chung Ling.
Begin with the end in mind. Imagine writing your own eulogy. That’s what I learned from self-help book by Stephen Covey, 7-habits of highly effective people more than a decade ago.
And everyday, we can contribute to this ‘eulogy’ we are writing. Today, I went to the funeral of one of the five boys who died in the dragon boat mishap. I have no intention of going at all but I was displeased with the silent mode adopted by the CM.
And when I am displeased, I make sure people knows I am displeased. I had told him before the CNY function begins that I expect him to say something. He told me he didn’t have time because he is rushing for the funeral of Zi Jun. He told another press reporter the tourism exco will issue the full statement.
Fine. No comment? Then, I shall not waste my morning. I went to funeral because I had chickened out from the others. Do you know that Yi Zhiang, another boy looked as cute as my Matthew when he was in Standard One? There was this photo of him with Jason (another boy who died) when they were in Std. One. So, that’s why I dare not attend the others funerals because I felt like I know them. It will be too painful. Moreover, I saw the body at the tragedy site, so it is even harder.
So, anyway, I made a nice video but I just can’t seem to upload since 4 pm. I had tried like more than 10 times. The broadband sucks today.
Back to the tourism exco’s statement. His press secretary sent an email to me with the statement but it went into my spam and I ter-delete before I managed to read it. Now, it is being sent as part of the tourism event notices.
It is a badly crafted statement with no tact, no compassion and purely to save his own arse piece.
You know, when I was there for two days, I witnessed with my own eyes how hardworking Danny Law is. I know he is very sad with what happened to the boys. I know it is unfair for most of the press to imply that it is his fault. I did feel a bit guilty to have a YB offering me nasi lemak when I had secretly been dissing him behind his back.
But the method the Penang State Government took to evade this issue is very disappointing.
CM Lim said he is asking the Federal Gov to carry out an inquiry.
Danny Law said he supports the Penang State Gov’s move. Hey, you ARE the state government, you know? And next time, send your condolences first before you push the blame. By trying to defend Chung Ling from the blame of the Education Dept. Director, you are indirectly part of the blame game too, you know? Plus, dude, you are in charge of tourism, why draw out the guidelines on boat safety? Are you even qualified?
I know some of you MPs and Aduns and office boys read my blog. Go ahead and disagree with me. Defend your boss stand if you wish. Go and squeal to him, I don’t care. But I think it is kinda tai-chi for CM to ask the Fed Gov to carry out the inquiry when they had all along never trust the Fed Gov.
All we Penangites want to hear is the state takes the blame as well. Give us the assurance that you are hauling up all the parties for an open inquiry or whatever term you all want to use it. It is as simple as getting the police, fire and rescue, school heads, school boards, the sport club, the parents, the dragon boat committee and whoever had been involved in the past years. Punch each other into pulp, scratch and pull hair, I don’t care. Sit down, face it and move on.
It is not to pick on who is right and who is wrong. It is to get things sorted out. After all, it was the CM who once told me, “First you must repent and atone bla bla bla before healing” I am not asking the State to be the scapegoat or be the fall guy. But I expect a magnanimous act to say sorry, we failed to ensure the safety of your sons. We will do everything to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.
I don’t freaking want to hear Danny Law insisting that the previous location is not the same as this location. It is still the same area, dude. I don’t want to hear from Danny Law that all along, the schools had been using the place. We know that. Telling us that is the same as you blaming the school, the children and everyone else except yourself.
And now, back to my title and opening line. How does that apply? Well, today, I heard some very simple but very touching eulogy from Zi Jun’s friends. If I had not attended the funeral, I probably wouldn’t care so much about this issue. But now, I saw a promising young man’s life (along with his other friends) wasted simply because we were all negligent. And the sad thing is no one seems to be sorry about it.
Someday when I died, I hope I had done something that makes people remember me by. That’s why I don’t let things just pass me by, without doing anything even when it irks me. Who cares if my eulogy goes something like, “Oh I am so glad that bitch died. She was such a pain in the arse when she was alive. So full of ego. Thinks the world revolves around her. Phtooi…rest in piss.”
Until and unless I see some positive action being done, I shall just pout. BTW, my expression shows. CM asked me, “Lilian, how are you? Are you ok?” My reply, “You better talk today.” I guess I have much faith and trust to dare to respond in such a way. I still have faith. Just don’t disappoint the Penangites.
I am so not gonna be a grandma and go through this motion again. Sons, remember ok? I will never, ever volunteer to help you take care of your kids. Not even if you bribe me with a fat monthly allowance and a tour around the world twice a year. No. Not even if each of you offers me 2 trips x 4 of you, 8 times around the world in 365 days.
I have enough. I love my kid. But I also love the meaning of being mobile. Not tied to the school fence, waiting for the gate to be unlock and then, lock again.
I told the gurubesar. You can stop the mothers from visiting during break time already. Then, I don’t need to hang around anymore.
But I didn’t tell him why. Because my boy is emo-black mailing me again. He doesn’t need me during break time because the canteen auntie provides him a plate of rice/noodle. If he wants other extras, he knows how to buy/get it jotted into the 555 credit book (which I will pay at the end of the month).
When he is done eating, he went on to play with his friends. Completely ignoring me except asking me to hold the water bottle for him. I had to drive Tanjung Bungah – Green Lane just to hold water bottle.
I said I am not visiting. He terus answered, “Other mommies come, you don’t want to come. Horrr….you don’t care about your boy lah. You don’t love me lah.” If that’s not enough, he added more salt, “You do what at home ah? Sleep and play Farmville?”
**talking to self**
Lilian, I am so ashamed of you! Last time you used to laugh at those mothers who stood outside the school gate. You said, they got no life lah, they got nothing better to do lah, so much time, go volunteer help the poor, orphans, aged etc lah. Now you are doing the same thing.
**end talking to self**
Anyway, the school gives special access cards to mothers whose children have special needs like food allergies, slow development, dwarfism, ADHD, autism and etc. So, they are free to go in. For regular moms like us, we need to stand outside the locked gate. And enter only when the break time bell rings.
The other day, I joked with my boy, “Eh, you not afraid your friends say you sissy cos you need your mommy?” He retorted, “I will punch them in the face.” (no, my boy is not aggressive type, he is joking)
A couple of years, or maybe just months from now, I know I will look back fondly at the chance I had to pamper my kid. The gurubesar only allows us to go in till end of this month. After that, no more entry. I am not going to be the no-life moms who stood outside the compound and wipe sweat for my boy through the iron bars fencing. Nah ah.
Whatever and however much I complained, I am so lucky to be able to afford the time to spend leisurely with my kid when he starts school. It has been three precious weeks. Tomorrow (i.e. Thursday) I am not going to visit him. I showed him my email.
“See? Read? 10.00 pagi. But 10 am is your breaktime. Email from who? Mommy wants to go and video. Can? Mommy wants to ask him about the dragon boat thingie. Can or notttttt?”
Finally, my little master agreed. I had tried once but the reason wasn’t valid enough. He told me, “Ohh…you don’t want to come and see me lah. You
love your video more lah.” But this time, he understands.
1) Fr Lawrence Andrew said Catholics not only pray silently, sing and worship but we carry out our faith as well. Therefore, we do involve and get interested in things related to the environment, society, human aspects and etc from the faith angle. So, it shouldn’t been seen as political.
2) The Herald did not USE the term Allah. They are only quoting in the Bahasa Melayu version parts of the scripture which is from the Bahasa Melayu Al-Kitab where the word Allah is referred for the Almighty God.
3) The Herald has a controlled circulation and there is no instance of it being ended up with Muslims. So, nobody can accuse The Herald of spreading it anywhere else.
4) Catholics are urged to remain calm. It is a small momentary setback. But we will learn a lot from this experience.
Like I had mentioned earlier, there is a silver lining to it.
