I was soaking in the tub earlier because it was so hot. I wanted to iron at least 4 blouses but only managed two because the heat was unbearable. Now that explains why it was so hot and humid. Rain coming. And it is pouring now.

While I was in the long bath, I realised what luxury I have. Long, long ago I used to have a house with a bath tub. But I hardly have time to enjoy it because there was always a baby or a kid needing the mommy.

(matthew just back from the hospital)

I remember one of them (though I can’t recall which one) was so ‘sticky’ like bah leh koh (molasses). Babies go through separation anxieties and this kid will scream if he doesn’t see me. So, even if I have to do my big business, I cannot close and lock the door entirely. I need to leave a small peep hole and kept talking to assure him that I have not been swallowed by the toilet bowl. *roll eyes*

But good thing is kid grows really fast. So, all those boring stuffs about parenting are easily forgotten.

Now I have the luxury of time. I don’t have to be bothered with one kid banging the door while you are in the bathroom because another stole his toy or something. I don’t have to deal with screaming kid who needs to use the bathroom or one that asks me to wash his butt.

So, I have plenty of time to give myself a good soak in the tub with some fancy-schmancy bath salt or just plain Johnson baby bath that gives lots and lots of bubbles.

Today, the above two kids are cooking for me. One baked an awesome durian cheesecake. The other roasted lamb with rosemary and thyme.

I know most people wouldn’t be able to tell which is which kid.

Here is one photo that is many, many years old. At least eight years old.

To cut a long rambling short, I am so thankful to God for the wonderful kids I have. Today, during mass, we have the part where we can insert in our own prayers. And I was like ‘Oh, oh, God, I really have nothing to ask from You. Just thanks for my wonderful kids. And if it is not too much trouble, will You be nice to those who need You most?’

I really think I should get myself a waterproof gadget so I can type while in the bath. Nothing like a nice soak and the rain to make me feel all warm and fuzzy of how wonderful life is.

Posted on August 14th, 2011 by Lilian
Filed under: Family | 2 Comments »

Okay, people. I am going to do a little promo today.

If you are a Penangite, you probably have received a copy of Buletin Mutiara which is the Penang State monthly publication. It is available free of charge, either sent to your doorstep or you can pick up from major supermarkets.

-Edited – Hmmm…somehow the link doesn’t work. Please click and go to the State website and download, please.

You can find the pdf version over here. http://www.penang.gov.my/index.php/pusat-media/penerbitan/buletin-mutiara/cat_view/44-buletin-mutiara/46-2011

For the Bahasa Malaysia copy : http://www.penang.gov.my/index.php/pusat-media/penerbitan/buletin-mutiara/doc_download/49-buletin-mutiara-siri-5-tahun-2011

For the English, Mandarin and Tamil copy : http://www.penang.gov.my/index.php/pusat-media/penerbitan/buletin-mutiara/doc_download/51-buletin-mutiara-siri-5-tahun-2011-edisi-bahasa-inggeris-bahasa-cina-dan-bahasa-tamil

I hope you like it, find it informative and please pass the link to your friends and families.

Sekian. Terima kasih.

Posted on August 13th, 2011 by Lilian
Filed under: Life and rants | Comments Off

I know this is a stupid and pretty lame title but it is like a breath of fresh air for me. I have forgotten when was the last time I get to go to sleep as late as I want and never have to wake up until I am awake.

Of course, the times when I was away from Penang are not counted because when I am in another state for holiday, I try to wake as early as possible to make sure I spend as much time as I can at that place.

So tonight I get to sleep at 2 am, 3 am or anytime. Tomorrow morning, I don’t have assignments. And no church!

Talking about church, I made myself go to church two weeks ago. I figure out I have to face my church parishioners, somehow.

It was during the heat of the matter when I was accused of instigating Christians to march in Bersih. I don’t normally admit things but I was feeling rather fearful of the responses. Some of the older church folks may misunderstood me. They may think I have dug a hole and got myself into trouble.

But God loves me. And send loving and understanding friends to give me the support I so needed. I got hugged. I got encouraging words. I received tight grip handshakes which says ‘I support you’. I have guys who are totally pissed and one jokingly asked me if I want to whack Tony Yew. He said all I need is to say yes. I just love these sort of acceptance.

During the mass, I suddenly broke down for the first time. I never shed a tear or felt victimised at all during the whole time. All those who know me, work with me know that I was my usual self and laughed my way through.

But when Father Bernard mentioned Dr. Jeyakumar’s name and all the other EO6 (who were just released the day before), suddenly I felt the burdens on me. I felt so alone, so overwhelmed, so betrayed and asked why it has to happen to me? I sobbed for a while during collections (the part where they pass the money bag around) and maybe beyond that.

But I am me. By the time we had our communion, I see the reason. Actually I knew the reason. Just that I never see it in perspective like the time when I was in church. I felt alone not because there was no one but the realisation that this is something bigger and it is not something I can explain.

So, after that, I am pumped up to deal with whatever that comes my way. I am still waiting for my Mac to be returned. Or I be charged. I wish they can make it quick and sweet. I wonder if there is such a thing as ‘Case Closed’ announcement or do I wait indefinitely.

Seriously, Christians shouldn’t just keep their mouths shut and not carrying out their duties to be the voice to the voiceless. There are so many injustices going on and I certainly won’t pull my head in and be the tortoise. A lot of well-meaning friends do ask me to do that. Keep a low profile, don’t express opinions so much, better ‘give way’ and all sort of ideas. I am too nice to tell them back that it is because of people like them, more people are suffering injustices. I don’t have to quote anything or anyone big. I have seen the eyes of mothers like Kugan’s mom, I have seen the haunting look of Teoh Beng Hock’s sister and those are enough to tell me never to shut my mouth and keep myself all cosy because out there, lots of people are hurting.

No way! I put my faith in Jesus Christ. Whatever it is, I know I am not into this alone. Lately, things have gotten even crazier. Things get twisted so much, we lost the plot. Suddenly, we Christians are seen as the evil one out to brainwash people to believe.

I am quite disappointed with the Selangor MB and don’t understand why he is quoted to say that he will solve the issue after Raya. I am quite happy that PAS leaders are ready to meet with the church involved. I am not defending the church in total but the people there have to speak up. Surely there are lots of eyewitnesses? Surely they are not afraid to say what actually happened?

It is sad. How we are so torn apart though our faiths which taught us to love one another. The little people like you and I don’t see ourselves painted in colours and separated by our faith. But the media and those politicians kept putting the wedges between us. And we are too afraid to speak up. Plus those people who are too polite to say or do anything allowed the wedges to be pushed further and further away.

Seriously, I think we failed if allow this to go on. This is especially so when Christians claim they shouldn’t be involved in politics. The politicians are the ones making our lives miserable or good so if we stay away, how are we to make sure they toe the line?

Arrggh..how did a simple go to bed late, wake up late blog post turned into this? Never mind, the conclusion is, I am urging all Christians to learn to express their thoughts. Make people understand what makes us tick. Make it known that we respect others and our Lord taught us that we did not choose God but God chose us. So, there is no way we can force a person into our faith.

If we keep to ourselves, in our little cloistered world, being the prayerful one minus the interactions, people may even think we are the evil one with a cross ready to zap someone into believe and following like a zombie.

*the zombies are coming…………*

Posted on August 13th, 2011 by Lilian
Filed under: Faith | 1 Comment »

Yesterday morning was quite the stressful morning.
Today, I decided I am not driving to work as my son needs my car later on.
So, I got into the office by 7.15 am though I start work at 8.30 am

Back to yesterday morning…..

The previous night, I attended the forum on TBH’s RCI. It ended rather late, almost midnight. My car was locked in the compound as I went out for some drinks with a friend after the forum. By the time I went to pick my car, the guard has locked the gate.

So, after all the hassles of getting my car out, it was way past midnight. My petrol tank was blinking madly on Empty.

Most petrol stations have closed and I overshot one 24-hour one and that’s it. So, what does a good Christian girl like me do in situation like that? Of course, I pray lah. And make deals with Jesus. Lord, if you can turn water into wine, can you please turn air into petrol? Not asking much, just enough for me to get home and enough for me to get to the nearest station next morning.

Next morning, I had to ‘exchange’ kids with hubby so that I have time to pump petrol and drop the son in secondary school.

I drove to the first petrol station that is open. I rushed to slot my card in. It spewed out my card. In the morning, in all my blurriness and rush, I guessed I had slot in the wrong side. I have a problem understanding those little signs, so I slot again. And it doesn’t work again. I turned the other side. And it still doesn’t work.

My son in secondary school has stricter rules. There are some constipated prefects that love to scare the students by closing the gate even before 7.30 am. So, he doesn’t like being late.

I gave up on the credit card payment. I grabbed twenty bucks and went to the cashier. Showed her which is my car. Went to my car, grabbed the hose and realised I haven’t opened my petrol tank yet. *roll eyes*

Put back the pump. Twist the cover and pssshhhhhtttt…the gas and the fumes that I hate so much assault my nose so early in the morning. I hate pumping petrol cos I hate the messy work. Usually, my sons or my hubby fill the tank for me but these last four days, I have been working most of day and night so they haven’t used my car.

Take the hose again. Repeat but no rush of liquid gold comes out.

Looked desperately at the cashier, which is a distance away. Waved. She didn’t see me. Frankly, I have always used credit card because it is so much more convenient. So, I didn’t know I have to wait for their signal.

She finally looked my way and asked me to ‘bubuh balik, lepas tu baru tarik’.

I did it.

Still no petrol.

The clock is ticking away.

I tried another hose. Still not working.

After the third or fourth attempts, finally the RM20 bucks came rushing out, into my tank.

So, my whole morning and my nerves was twisted like the knots of thousands of petrol pump hoses.

I did get my son to school in time.

But not before my car was stuck in those stupid jams that could have been avoided but parents are all so selfish and inconsiderate situation.

Plus residents along the lane (Muntri Street?) behind SXI parked their cars overnight, making the already tiny lane even tinier.

So, all the time I was muttering ‘bassss ketttttt’ because everyone is trying to rush and no one gets anywhere.

Finally, I am done dropping my son and turned into Love Lane. Still very stressed out, pissed off and nerves frayed.

But a sight jolted me back.

One old man was pushing his old wife in an old wheelchair.

I am not sure where they are going. But if I am that old and weak and there is still someone there to push my old wheelchair for a stroll in the morning, I will be thankful to God.

And I am thankful I am whizzing around town with a car and petrol. Never mind about the rest of the world, I am just so thankful.

Sometimes, we are so caught up in our little world, we missed God’s marvelous wonders. So, say a little thanks to your own ‘big boss’ up there, will you?

Posted on August 4th, 2011 by Lilian
Filed under: Faith | 4 Comments »

Ok, I had promised to be a good girl and won’t relate the minute details about how my Mac has to go for a holiday without me. It’s a scout honour.

But still,I feel a tinge of sayang cos I hope they take care of it properly. Without it, I don’t have a proper working Mac. Typing on this iPad is blardy tiring because I can type very fast. I don’t get to punch the keyboard, merely light touch on the cold hard screen.

So, please come back fast-fast, wahai Mac ku.

But people, don’t speculate and call the authorities names cos they are merely doing their job. I nak Mac saya. Nak Mac. Nak Mac. Nak Mac.

Posted on August 3rd, 2011 by Lilian
Filed under: Life and rants | 4 Comments »

1. I have said I will fully cooperate with the police.
2. The police did not ‘raid’ my house. I welcome them and they do their job of investigating.
3. If the word ‘raid’ is used, it maybe because a group of reporters were outside my house and they probably thought the flurry of activities, of removing my Mac box from the store room as ‘raid’.

My case has been featured in almost all the mainstream media and they are mostly consistent with what I went through. Thank God! Even Tamil paper runs a story. I only know about it from my Indian colleague today.

Until the case is closed or I am charged or arrested, I have no further comment.

As for my feelings, I hold no anger with Tony Yew because it is pointless. He has been bashed enough by people online and people I met. Ultimately, he is the one who is going to face the people and his own conscience. I hope he has thought it through before he subjects another family through what I went through. For example, I have an eight year old son who sat quietly in the living without turning on the TV for 2 hrs because ‘police come to catch mommy and her computer’.

And to the innocent people, no, I did nothing wrong. I am not ‘serik’ or ‘scared already’ and will continue with my tweet, whatever, whenever, however I like.

To all the strangers (once) who came up to me with an understanding look, an encouraging handshake, a supportive pat on the back, offer of legal support, jokes of ‘you want me to whack him or not ah’ and lots of other nice things, thank you.

To all those who think I am a cyber criminal, F Yew. Time for you to open your eyes and know your rights.

Posted on August 1st, 2011 by Lilian
Filed under: Life and rants | 18 Comments »

But sorry lah, too busy to write yet. I worked 8-12 on Saturday and Sunday. Not 8 am to 12 noon. But to midnite. So plenty of stuffs to clear, story to write, interviews to complete.

Catch you all later!

Ooops, that sound scary to some folks, I think.

Nay….there is nothing to fear. Especially the fear of the unknown.

Posted on August 1st, 2011 by Lilian
Filed under: Life and rants | 2 Comments »