*Warning : Scroll down for other postings if this makes you uncomfortable. Tell me about the Do-It-Yourself man or join the PPS t-shirt meme*

My father’s death when I was 7 yrs old
- I was terrified. Death is a scary thing.

My school mate who died at 17 yrs old
- I was crushed. Life is unfair. Only the good guys die young.

My mother’s unexpected death when I was 32 years old
- It is very painful but what can we do? Life is like that.

My parents-in-law’s deaths at 70 yrs and 80 yrs respectively
- Old people have to die. So they die.

By then, I have become a seasoned ‘mourner’. People live, people die. We still have to cope. Life goes on.

I just asked my atm.
“Are you going to re-marry if I die now?”
If my mom is around, she would washed my mouth with clorox and dettol plus fan me with all the gold and silver papers to drive away the crow’s mouth. But she isn’t around to smack my cheeks for being the harbinger of bad luck. (Chinese do not talk about death. It is considered very unlucky.)

Of course, my atm did not pay attention to me. I enjoyed teasing him. With my current mood, I love talking about the unthinkable.

I prodded on, “No lah,I think you better don’t marry anymore. See? you got two white hairs liao, afterwards some SYT cheated you off your EPF. Oh no! your EPF!!!! Cannot lah, I don’t want to die yet. I am going to make sure I spend and enjoy every sen of your huge EPF savings first.”

Just for kicks, I reminded him what I often remind him. “Should I die before I get to travel to Switzerland, make sure you scatter my ashes over the Swiss Alps.” (I had by-passed Switzerland once when I was travelling from Paris to Milan on a train in 1998. I regretted I did not detour to Switzerland.)

His reply – “I will courier it to them (Swiss postmen) to do so.”

*sigh* 3 years ago, I scattered my own son ashes. By now, I have no fear of death. It is actually a good thing. Living without the fear of dying makes me feel free.

I found these photos from my old files. I got a very serene look on my face. The yellow bag is the ashes.

My kids enjoyed a thrilling sampan ride out to the middle of the sea to scatter the ashes.

Ever wonder? Have you seen anyone who has funeral rites that is NOT religious based at all? I haven’t. If you do, tell me how it is performed? How does one deal with the body of a person who does not believe in anything? Do you remember the ‘Sembahyanglah, sebelum anda disembahyangkan’ signs found at mosques? A gentle reminder. (translated : Pray before you are being prayed over.)

Are you afraid of dying? Don’t answer. Don’t even think about it if it spooks you. This is my blog and this is my life. Life and death intertwined.

Posted on May 3rd, 2005 by Lilian
Filed under: Faith | Comments Off

After reading Peter’s blog about Balik Pulau, I decided to bring the kids for a ride to the other side of the island. One of my son had done the unforgiveable thing of tweaking my camera buttons and I returned with a load of lousy photos. Lots of photoshopping needed. Damn, for a second, I thought my camera is spoilt. Good excuse to get a dSLR Olympus that I eyed over the weekend at Tesco. (more about that next time)

Photo of paddy field.

Anyway, it is great to show toddler that durians grow on trees. But a mistake because he went, “Thee liulian, nehhhh” all the way and back and insisted I turn every direction he pointed out. Too bad my durians on trees photos turned out too dark. Arrgggh…or else, I will give it back to toddler, “see liulian” on the desktop till he puke.

Going to Balik Pulau is sort of a homecoming for my atm. He studied till Form Three at St. George’s Balik Pulau. What I love going to Balik Pulau is my ‘young’ husband bumping into his school mates! All the apeks and ah cheks.

5xmom – Dear, that one your teacher?
5xdad – No lah, 2 years my senior.
5xmom – *pointing to coffeeshop owner* Your classmate?
5xdad – No lah, my junior
5xmom – *at mechanic shop* That one leh?
5xdad – Oh, this one? My classmate.
5xkids – Papa, why your classmate so old wan?

Due to wrong setting and hazy sky, my photo of this beautiful church turned out like some horror movie so I photoshop it. I am going back one day to take the photos again.

It is really nice to be in Balik Pulau. We had Siam & Sour Laksa, pasembur and bought lots of local stuffs. Durian kueh is my favourite. (will blog that in my Penang Faces)

Posted on May 2nd, 2005 by Lilian
Filed under: Family | 6 Comments »

I took the macro shots of the PCB of my old, old cassette/VCD player which my DIY man dismantled. He ripped off everything, dug out one 20 sen, one RM1 coin, a colour pencil and my Don Moen cassette. I thought that is the demise of the player.

But oh no, my DIY man soldered back the wires, clipped back all the capacitors and the thing is working again. I have one very useful DIY man at home who has B&D power drills (note the plural), saws, hundreds of screw drivers, millions of screws/nails/wall plug, spanners, plyers, plumbing joints, wires….you name it, he probably has it.

He is good in doing things around the house like plumbing, electrical wiring, painting, repair washing machine etc etc. On top of this, he also can repair my epilator (those thing women used to pull the legs hair), breast pump, dildo? (oops, sorry,I don’t need one), my kitchen appliances etc etc.

My first encounter with DIY men are my 2nd brother and my 2nd sister’s bf (now my bro-in-law). I was about 10-12 yrs old then. Both of these crazy guys actually bought Reader’s Digest DIY book and assembled bookshelves and etc. Oi, those days, IKEA has not set foot in Malaysia, ok? My 2nd bro-in-law is still very much the DIY man until today. He is in mid 50s now. Some hot shot engineer who loves to hang around the Thieves Market.

I remember vaguely an ex-bf who is NOT a DIY man. Very the turn off ‘cos when men can’t repair simple things like a leaky faucet, they seem very helpless and lame. Men should have screwing skills, no? And expert in clearing block holes and pipes? Drilling?

So, do you have one DIY man around the house? Or are you a DIY man or woman yourself? I admit I rather yelp for help if I can help it.

Posted on May 2nd, 2005 by Lilian
Filed under: Life and rants | 7 Comments »

On your death anniversary, your #3 bro said,
“Hey, let’s celebrate!”
And so we went. Why not?

After all, your brothers have the strongest faith that you are somewhere up there. So very happy with Jesus.

And your #3 bro. was the one whom had prayed for you each night after your passing. Each night before bedtime, he would say this:
“Dear Jesus, please let Vincent play in your giant playground (Heavenly Kingdom) and give me a new baby brother. Amen.”

10 months after, we indeed have a new baby for us to play with. Matthew never took your place but is an individual on his own.

Today, at 26 months old, he can call your name. He can call each of your brothers and whenever we point up, he will definitely include your name – Binchern which is baby language for Vincent.

If we are lucky, tonight we may find the peddlar selling helium balloons at Gurney Drive. And we will release them, in memory of you.

Oh yes, we celebrate mass this morning and the message we got is to rejoice. And rejoice, we did. Though we do not see you, you are very much part of our lives, Vincent.

(Bible verses copy and paste from Biblegateway.com)
John 14:15-21 (New International Version)

Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

15 If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

*Addition – Yes, we did get the balloons! It is like a ritual that we do on every anniversary and birthday.

Posted on May 1st, 2005 by Lilian
Filed under: Faith | 17 Comments »

3 years. True love never die

The Beatitudes

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

(MATTHEW 5:3-12)

Posted on April 30th, 2005 by Lilian
Filed under: Faith | 6 Comments »

Last night, I spent about 30 mins waiting for my curry salmon head. Then, another 30 minutes waiting in line at the cashier counter at Parkson. In that one hour, I had the chance of observing mothers/daughters connection as there were lots of women of all ages at the restaurant/cosmetic section.

Guys, you all have to believe this. Your SYT Ah Lians/gfs/gfs-to-be/dream girls can and may become like her mom one day! So, take a close look at your future mothers-in-law and face the stark reality. To those guys who are married liao, sorry hor, too late oredi. You have no where to run. *muahahaha*

Many, many years ago, when my mom was around, she pampered my atm a lot. She would served him with all the good foods and did just about everything that mothers love to do. Sometimes, I would pity him because he did get over loaded with too much attention. Then, I would sort of laughed at my own mom for her mother hen behaviour.

My atm would chided me with, ‘lu mien cheaou, pat tau lu pun si an neh khuan’. (you don’t laugh, next time you are also going to be like her) Back then, when I was in my mid 20s, it was a scary statement.

Majority of girls do not want to be the same as their moms. At least where looks are concerned. *shivers* My mom was very round and chubby. Back then, I was very thin and tall. So, I couldn’t see a connection there.

But alamak, these few years, I just realised that of all my sisters, I am the most identical to my mother. The looks, characteristics and shape, everything. However, at 40 yrs old, I do not mind anymore. It sorts of give me comfort that she had left some part of her in me. God bless her soul!

So, the conclusion is : Look at the mother of your girlfriend. That is what your girlfriend is going to be like many, many years down the line.

I better go plaster on more SKII now. Good thing is I have no daughter to tell me,

“Gosh, mom, serious? I am going to end up just like you? OMG, I am so not going to look like you. Nah ah!”

Ahh….one good reason to have only sons. No daughters to blame me for bad genes like big butts, foul mouth, bull headed etc etc.

So, girls, do you agree that ‘just like your mother’ is a scary statement? And guys, you believe what I said?

ADDED : Heeheehee, before people wonder why I don’t want to look like mom when I was in my mid 20s, let me explain. I was born after 10 years lapse. My mom had me when she was almost 40 yrs old, a baby conceived by ‘accident’. So, our age gap is very huge, hence I made this statement.

Posted on April 29th, 2005 by Lilian
Filed under: Humor | 27 Comments »

A young man, a blogger who was inspired to start a blog by doc, has written some entries about his school life. It may be mundane to some, it can be enlightening to others.

I had been following his school adventures about rescuing puppies. Last week, two little Indian boys found one helpless puppy without it’s mom. It must be a newborn because the umbilical cord was still attached and the eyes still closed. I was in the garden, just back from an outing armed with my camera. So, I snapped this photo. (dunno what happened to this puppy though, ‘cos we asked the boys to put back the puppy where they found it, hoping the mommy dog will return)

Funny isn’t it, how blog can make one feel hope in certain things. Reading about these group of students who risked facing discipline action for the sake of rescuing 15 puppies certain made me very proud to know Mango aka Alphonso Tan.

To Mango and his friends – yeah, life is cruel, not every one and every animal get to live a simple, easy life being protected all the time. Sometimes, they have to suffer or even die. That’s life. But we can make things better for ourselves and others.

Posted on April 29th, 2005 by Lilian
Filed under: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »