I have probably hurted someone feelings really bad. YSM wanted to offer me something marvellous that is supposed to help me cope. And I shot the person, whom YSM recommended to me, who made the introduction. YSM must be shocked to see my true colours. Can’t be help.
I used to spend time playing computer games. All of them where I have the role of the emperor, head of the family, lord of the crusader, god of mythology, hospital head, theme park operator
and others. I am a self-confessed control freak.
So, when I have a stranger who appeared on the phone telling me how her group can help me cope with life, naturally the SWAT mode come into action.
I asked straight away, “Are you religious or profit driven? I want to be frank that I am not interested because as a Christian, I can manage my life as long as I am walking closely with God.”
(some background blurb about being a group of graduates with all sort of life experiences etc etc. Someone with commitment problems had been helped.)
I don’t know what got into me but I am NOT having PMS. I told her right there, “Whatever had happened to me (Vincent’s death), has happened and how I manage in future, I will manage. I am not going into a group to dissect what can be done right or wrong.” *total silent*
Making a mental note to myself – Never approach anyone. Especially if you know they are hurting and vulnerable.
Question to myself – But aren’t you the one who has support groups?
Answer to myself – Initiative is on the other end. After all, didn’t I choose to turn to Christianity on my own free will and I choose my church from the Yellow Pages?
Am I being extreme? Probably. Can’t be help. I don’t want to be the subject because I am very, very paranoid. Lord, help me please.
*******Please do not comment on the above. But please tell me your favourite RPG. The Stronghold Crusader was mine. ************
A little musing:
How nice if our life is equipped with macro mode.
Then we can see all the tiny things and appreciate more.