I blogged about this on the spur of the moment because I found someone else blogged about his brother’s death. I disabled the comment because I feel bad bringing a morbid topic to PPS. However, these are facts we have to face because it is very much part of our lives.
On a silly note, let state some of my thoughts here:
1) Will I re-marry if I am widowed?
Of course, why not? Especially if the man is tall, dark and handsome and loaded with cash to sponsor my sons through colleges and universities. I don’t care if he is impotent, as long as he is rich. All I care for is the welfare of my sons. Probably I will sign an agreement for a sum of money and in return, I promise to be the good wife, fook si him 99 (pamper to the 9th).
2) Will I allow my husband to re-marry if I kick the bucket?
Of course, NO! But then, I can’t control that. So, I must make a mental note not to turn into a ghost and visit the master bedroom at nights. Don’t want to be a ghost and caught my atm with another wife in bed, do I? Then, I have to strangle the kkc with my ghostly hands. LOL!
3) Do I worry about my kids if I can’t be around to take care of them?
Not anymore. Maybe when I was younger and they were smaller. Right now, I know they can grow up pretty ok without me. After all, I got many siblings and in-laws. And yes, God will have to be the babysitter. Many kids grew up without a parent and they still turn out ok. Like me.
4) Do I worry if I can cope without a bread-winner?
Not anymore too. Because my house and car no longer belongs to the bank. We have enough to eat. No money for further education, no problem wan. Anyway, my atm is a sensible man. He increase his life insurance with the birth of each child.
5) What is the ideal way to kick the bucket?
For my atm – in an airplane crash, especially if he bought the ticket with his credit card. Woohoo, I will be very rich. Mamamia!
For me – No leh, I don’t think I want to kick the bucket at the moment. Sakit kaki, hurt the big toe only. And I am not a major loss, so no point disappear from earth.
On a serious note –
It is good for couples, especially wives who are not earning any income to know what to do in case of situations like this. At the back of your mind, know what are your assets, what belongs to the bank, how much savings you have, are you the rightful owner of all the money/assets, are the EPF, insurance, properties in your name?
Take for e.g. the EPF beneficiary of my atm is me. Because I need the money asap. If he put my children’s names, they can only get them when they reach 18 yrs old. So, we need to eat sands if that happen. But *muahahaha* my EPF and insurance beneficiaries are my kids. Yeah, I got a tidy sum in EPF orh. But I make sure my atm is not able to get those money for his kenduri kahwin bini muda. HOHOHO.
So, I am pretty prepared for rainy days. In wicked humour and also sensible thoughts. How about you?
My message to MG – When I wrote that the other day, I did think of you. I know you must be worried sick about your situation But trust me, vocalise your fears to Mr MG, talk to your loved ones about your worries and hopefully soon, you can laugh over them. My sis once had a lump in her breast and she worried like the world is caving in. It turned out to be just a harmless lump. But after that, she was much more prepared and braver. She also have 4 kids and not earning any income.
Auntie Lilian,
We shouldn’t be afraid of death because we are going to meet our Maker in heaven. He will be up there waiting for us with open arms and He will be with us as we walk through the valley of death (Book of Psalms)
But human beings are not divine. Sometimes no matter how many million times the verse in Psalm 23 is drilled into our minds, there are still a large number of us who are afraid to die.
It takes a lot of courage to leave this world and all its beauty behind. But we always have to remind ourselves time and time again that what lies after death is a beauty that is beyond human imagination…
aunt lilian, always have u indirectly provided me really good advices, i’m thankful for it š
i’m afraid of dying, therefore i choose to live today at this very moment, not focusing too much (though a little) on the past or future.
Lilian, reading this really made me sad and scared. Don’t get me wrong, it was a VERY good read – sometimes you need to listen to the things that you do not want to hear, .. and be accepting. I fear death, I fear returning to my maker unrepentant, I fear the afterlife. With your permission, I’d like to pose the same questions to myself on my own blog. I NEED to face this.
Blabarella – Please do blog your thoughts about this. I wonder how others view death too. I used to be very scared too but not anymore and frankly it is so much easier to manage than being fearful.
Venus – You have very wise thoughts too. You are right, don’t think too far, don’t think about too many what ifs. But we married women with dependents do have to think about such things, though.
Angelic Grace – It does take a long time before one can really believe the ‘a better world’. But it certainly is a comforting thought, isn’t it?
I thought Catholics cannot remarry?
Umami – If widowed can. If divorced, cannot.
if divorced cannot? serious? then how if wanna remarry? apologize to the ex husband/wife first?
Wah…cerite panjang. Not all Christians lar, only Catholics. Catholics are more kolot because we say we follow the original. In the Bible, Jesus said that marriages are sacred and arranged by God. Whatever God puts together, no man can tear apart. If you attend a Catholic wedding, then you will know how serious this is. (I pun baru first time attend only)
So, the idea is – if got problem in marriages, turn to God (i.e. by prayers, counselling by the priest, talk it through, work it out, attend a ‘couple seminar’ etc etc). Then, we are expect to solve the problem like adults, i.e. stay together through thick and thin.
You see, Jesus said in the Bible that if a man divorced his wife, and she go and marry another man, he is allowing her to commit adultery etc etc. And Jesus also said that man must treat his wife like he treat himself, i.e. love and not abuse/commit adultery etc etc. Because the common sense is – one does not hurt oneself. So, wife and husband is considered as one entity.
However, *ahem* divorces still happen. But the divorcee will not be allowed to marry in church.
Though this may look like a very strict rule, if we look at the basic of it – i.e. solve all misunderstanding,problems etc through reconcilation, marriages are indeed beautiful. In fact, I really, really admire those husbands/wives couples in my church. The husbands are extra loving and caring. Really jealous lar.
Wah…long preaching.
I dun understand this. Not allowed to remarry but allowed to divorce?
MG – Ideally speaking, both husband and wife are of the same faith and both are faithful to the religion, divorces will not happen. Let’s take my example – my hubby is not a Catholic and say he suka-suka insisted to divorce me, so that makes me a divorcee. Assuming, I am faithful, I will remain unmarried all my life.
>Will I allow my husband to re-marry if I kick the bucket?
Of course, NO!
Dog in a manger ? š
Haha, Bushido – Yeap, that’s right. If I can’t have it, no one else can. I think most women would think like me ‘cos not only the husband but also our kids. I think I will be terribly jealous more on my kids side. Again, I am DEAD, so there is nothing I can do. LOL!
dear auntie lilian,
actually i m afraid to die at my age now. i still got 2 more years to get my degree, i havent been to the working world yet, i m still not married n have my own kids, i havent realised my dreams n hope yet..there is still so many things i wanted to do.Therefore, i m afraid to die. coz i noe everyone will be very sad, especially my mum n dad…(now i feel sad also, sighh)
Thanks Aunty Lilian. I appreciate your condolences.