My suspicion started to grow. I began noticing he has been receiving many sms and he always go online at night. We rarely have time together, maybe he is not happy with me heavily pregnant. At least that was what i told myself.
Last week, out of curiosity, i was very tempted to read his handphone message. I know it is wrong to do that, but my intuition asked me to do some investigation. I just hope that all my speculation of him having an affair with the girl is just an imagination. I needed an answer so much, it was a dilemma between feeling guilty and getting rid of the suspicion. I cried my heart out when i read the many messages my husband has exchanged with the girl. She even allowed him to take her naked and semi-naked pictures with his handphone, i am then very sure they are having an affair without my knowledge. I feel so cheated with his betrayal. When i confronted my husband and showed him the proof, he just kept silence. And i hate the girl badly for taking away my husband. At that point, i feel like walking out of my marriage, but i know i have to stay because of my children.
There are no one i can turn to for financial support. I am not able to work now as no one will want to hire a pregnant lady. I am still in the state of mixed feelings; anger, hurt and shocked. My marriage is totally ruined now and i am all by myself. I was a fool to have trusted him so much, i thought he worked hard to earn money for better living in the family. Indeed he has, but he also secretly allowed younger girl to milk him. Therefore i am posting the girl picture here so that none of you ladies out there will have to go through this pain.
Right now, i am trying to send this warning to as many people as possible. Gathered email address from friends’ list and i hope you will help me spread the words too.
Dear Alice (as I said, it is a ficticious name, ok?)
Don’t do anything that will jeopardize your husband’s reputation. Stop sending the mass email of the girl and calling her slut! Things can turn back and bite you. The girl may dropped your husband, but so can the company where he works in.
Remember that you cannot take your children and walk out of the house because he can use it against you too. You have no income and if there is a divorce, you definitely will lose your children. You also cannot leave your little ones in his care because that would make you an unfit mother. (in the eyes of the law)
So, you have to stick to where you are, calm down and plot your way out of this. Remember that you are pregnant and therefore, you have to calm down. I have known a woman who lost her baby in late pregnancy when she found out about her straying husband. Until today, she had to live with the regret and guilt, plus the anger.
Did you say finding naked photos? Oooh…you want to send them to me? It can boost my blog popularity. And help you in your vendetta. Ok, I am joking. Because I don’t like to meddle into marital affairs personally. I bet you will never read this. (peeps – Never, ever try to solve marital affairs because you will always end up the bad guy.)
Do you know how to download the photos? Are you brave enough to bring your husband’s handphone to the police station and make a police report? These things can be used against him in future if both of you can’t find a solution.
Let me help you draft the police report:
Saya (name) kad pengenalan (IC) berumur (age). Saya telah berkahwin dengan (husband’s name) selama (years). Get hold of your marriage cert and write down the licence number.
Semasa membuat laporan ini, saya mengandung selama lima bulan. Saya mempunyai dua orang anak berumur (age of children).
Saya ingin membuat laporan ini kerana saya dapati gambar bogel di telefon bimbit suami saya dan mensyaki suami saya berlaku curang. (adoi, my Bahasa!) State model of phone, phone number, registrant name etc.
There…you got concrete information. In future, you can just tear it away or use it in court. Since you are pregnant, wear some plunging neckline and be sweet to the police. Get their sympathy.
If worst come to worst, they may even help you spread the MMS. It is your intention to show to the world the ‘slut’ you mentioned, right? How about on the front page of every newspapers?
But seriously, from the tone of your email, I can sense that your are putting yourself in the victim shoes, you are blaming the girl and you have too high regards for your husband. Taking the victim role (being weak and helpless) is not going to take you anywhere.
Why not fark him out of his pants with all the four letter words you know and tell him that you are not going to tolerate this? Find a moment when both your children are not around and talk it out. Again, you cannot stressed yourself too much because a woman can go into labour with too much stress.
Ask him what he wants and why. Do not blame yourself for being unattractive because you are pregnant. All good men do not find their wives unattractive and go out have affairs with women half his age. Accept the fact that he is a jerk, but you gotta live with it.
Good men accepted their marriage vows and commitments as permanent. Even if the wife is dying, disabled, ill or whatever, they stick to it. Be angry with your husband. Whack him, call him names and get it out of your systems. You cannot blame the girl because you cannot do anything to her.
Lastly, Alice, think why you marry him in the first place? Think of the good times you have had. Have you changed that much? Which part of you had been ignored? Hard as it may, sometimes, the wives are partly responsible.
Get all the anger out of your system. Plot your future. I know that you are going to stick to the marriage because of the children. So, I wish you all the best.
Do I dare to tell you that when no one can help, God can? Why not leave things in God’s hands? He can make your husband filled with guilt, awaken him from his lusts, give you strength, comfort you and shelter your unborn baby and children. Turn to your God. Go down on your knees and call for Jesus’s help. You won’t see a hand immediately down to solve your problems but in time, things will turn out the way it should. For the better. Hehehe, load your evil thoughts to God too, who knows, maybe the girl may get rotten down there and your husband get erectile dysfunction. LOL, I am merely joking but seriously, don’t act out all your anger and take things into your own hand. I hope all the friends whom you have emailed give you positive support instead of tearing the ‘slut’ apart by spreading your email. We shall send good vibes to you and hope things sort itself out.
(and I got all those ideas while washing the dishes)