I actually do not want to talk about this issue because every day, I am dealing with bereaved parents. Maybe most of you do not know this but I do have a grief support group for bereaved parents and we communicated online.
So, if anyone knows the heart of a parent who lost a child, it has to be our group because we listened to their day to day routine. How they momentarily forget that their son/daughter is dead and they actually looked for an extra seating when they went to eat out. Only to broke down because the person is not there.
Most of us lived with some trauma from the tragedy that befell their children. For example, can you imagine how the parents of this young man feels? Or how two of my group members who are new mothers who let the babysitter took care of their newborns when they returned to work after maternity leaves, only to find their perfectly, healthy, adorable babies dead because of negligence and carelessness? They have to deal with a lot of emotions.
But none of us have ever have to deal with what these two parents feel. Because our children died due to causes beyond our control. On one hand, I sympathise, on the other hand, I am extremely angry. I cannot understand why these three boys who are already 12, 10 and 8 years old can do something which I am very sure were against their wishes. The only factor I can think of are manipulative parents who use emotional blackmail to co-erce them to do it. Plus lying to their kids about taking the journey to the next world together as a family.
That’s why I have almost no feelings for the mother and father. And this why I am going to say some very unpopular things. Firstly, people have to stopped having the ideal thoughts that we can escape this world’s hardship to be in the next world. They have to stop having the foolish thoughts that their families who are left behind can burn gold papers to pay for their escape and cook chicken and ducks to feed them. Thirdly, they have to know that running away in this manner does not guarantee you the next ship to whatever heaven they imagine. Basically, it is very silly for any particular faiths to think that the dead and the alive are inter-related and the dead can be appeased with chicken and ducks.
Of course, if one is depressed as in a having a medical condition, then, probably my judgement is not so severe. Mental depression can cause suicides. Killing yourself is not as cruel as killing all three kids. But this case cannot be blamed on depression. This case is strictly a ‘I want to have face, if I can’t have my kids, no will’ mentality. I blame it on being Chinese and being misled with ‘something wrong faith’.
None of Kau’s family members were seen at the funeral. (Kau the children’s mother)
Kau’s mother, Lau Kim Moi, said she did not attend the funeral due to personal and health reasons.
â€œI miss my grandchildren very much and every time I close my eyes, I will see them,” she said at her Desa Sri Puteri flat, several units from her daughter. (source)
I will tell you why the grandma did not attend. Because Taoists are damn pantang (taboo) of going to children’s funeral. I do not agree with Taoism (my faith for 38 years) for these reasons. They are so engrossed in trying to get better luck, better wealth, better everything, they forget to think. And they have this belief that if the older person is around, the young ones cannot bear to step into the next (better) world. I had personally seen this in the PICU (children intensive care) where mothers of dying children weren’t allowed to spend the last few moments with their children. These mothers are going to live for the rest of their lives in regrets.
So….I have got this off my chest. I pray that God will have mercy on the boys and grant them a beautiful heaven, free of any sufferings. And let the parents rot in jail, not able to die forever. Especially the father.
And to those ministers who started the same old jingle of ‘Ah Longs are bad’, go work harder. I am not impressed.
Lastly, if you are in a situation with no end in sight, read the Bible, the Romans. Read it four times, over and over again. Listen to what God is telling you and may the good Lord help you out of your abyss. It helped someone I know and I hope it helps you too. If I disagreed with anyone of your faith, also too bad wor. My God is the only God.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
And note : Don’t anyone dare to try to rebuke what I said. I don’t need to hear your opinions. I air this publicly because lives have situations like these. It happens all the time. So, if you are so holy and righteous, go and do something for hurting souls instead of picking the bones with me. And I am not interested to hear about your version of dying and living. We die and we get resurrected. There is no rebirths. Like the Muslims’ beliefs, the deceased will wait for you in the desert with a glass of water to quench your thirst. For me, a Christian, my son will be there with Jesus, waiting for me.
Heh, got you speechless? Never mind, tell me how you feel about parents forcing their children to die along with them? I have two opinions. One of them is here but I have a milder thought here.
You can catch the video on Nanyang showing the funeral and the face of the
parents murderers . (can be viewed with IE but not Firefox) The close-up photo of the parents murderers on Guangming and Sinchew.