Leceh betul. In the evening, I was on my way to a meeting. By the time I got to my apartment ground ‘Touch and Go’, I realised that the card is not in my car. So, I wound down my window, gave a polite ‘pon pon’. Normally, the guard will just use their card to open and let us out.
But DNMCH, today got two young punks on duty. I asked nicely, ok? ‘I terlupa bawa card lah, tolong buka sat.’ Blardy hell, I already asked nicely, so just let me out, right? But that farker went acting highly belagak like he is some sort of FBI or Bukit Aman’s royal guard. He cakap banyak and grumble all the grandpa stories like I just live there.
So, I could reverse my car and call my kid to bring it down, right? But cannot ‘cos at the back of me, there were three other cars. One of them is my neighbour who was going out the same time with me as we were reversing the car out of the carpark earlier. This bugger started honking. Not just any horn but looooong honk. So, in my heart, I dem tulan adi. I said secretly, honk hamidlanjiao lah, your baba god never teach you the virtue of patience, issit? Grow afro so big, teach you what ah? You cannot see that I am stuck there ‘cos I have no card, the cheebye guards want to act belagak and refused to let me go through. And all of you brainless buffons don’t know how to reverse your cars so that I can get out of the way, issit?
I kept persuading the guards to just swipe the card and get it over with. But stubborn pigs refused. So, I take my handphone and call my atm to get the card for me. Tiu leh, the guard thought that I am calling who. He shouted, “Phone kita punya bos lah, lu ingat kita takut kah?” Limpeh lagi tulan.
So, I tembak balik lah. “Buat apa saya buang masa dengan kamu semua. Jadi guard saja, nak belagak, pi belagak lah. Aku tarak senang nak layan.  Puadah…..pi tengok muka hang kat cermin. Guard saja lah, hang ingat hang besaq kah.”
(what for I waste my time with you. You are mere guards, want to act, go and act lah. I am not free to bother with people like you. Go to hell lah, take a look at the mirror. Only guards you know.)
And my atm asked me to do what you know? He said, “Turn off your engine, leave the car right at the gate and block everyone. Then, take your sweet time and take the card yourself. Teach them a lesson.”
Aiyor..I dare not lah. I diam-diam reverse my car to the side after all the three morons at the back reversed theirs. Niamah, wait I go trample all the grass, weeds, flowers of that honking neighbour of mine. Put so big afro god, sikit punya manners pun tarak. I couldn’t give a fark to the two stupid guards ‘cos they probably had their first taste of a uniform and got carried away with their new status. But this cilaka neighbour can very well see that I was stucked there with no card and not like it is a big crime, he pulak go honk so loud and so often.
And I am not all that bad, ok? I got tabik sorry to the car behind me for holding them up, ok? Lucky my api died by the time I got to the meeting or else….
So, if you are in my position, caught between two dumbasses and a bunch of annoying neighbours, do you think you dare to do what my atm asked? He would, I know. He is the kind who will not give a flying fark and will probably leave the car there for all he cares.
I would. But it depends on how early in the morning it is and how pissed off I am. Sometimes you just wanna avoid conflict, and sometimes you just wanna teach this poor sods a lesson 🙂
If I were you, I’d go to the afro-neighbour and tell him, “Hi, sorry ar, I forgot the card, but I’m going up to get it right now. Wait ar..” Muahaahha…
Not letting you out?? I heard of not letting cars in. I would have done what ATM said, kill the engine and take my sweet time getting the card. Maybe take a dump as well before coming down.
Don’t naik api lah. Go drink some ‘liang teh’.
I would do like pelf said too.
By theway, your photo looks like Lilian Too.
Those guards really stupid and intend to find fault … I also encounter the same situation for visitor car park usage.
Those buggers disallow my friend to park in visitor lot but allow others. Maybe they got kopi duit to book for others.
here’s my experience of leaving my car, blocking ppl. i had to send my puppy to emergency vet. i went to hsbc to cucuk duit, so i dbl parked right outside the bank. cos i was blocking ppl, they forcibly pushed my driver seat window down, released my handbrake and pushed my car away.
as a result, the window motor rosak, cannot wind up or down. when i came out, i said sorry for blocking and i kena scolding some more. thats how they bully women.
OK. This is what I do in a conflict.
(1) Check my position.. Do I have a watertight case?
(2) If so, don’t hesitate. Go ahead and do what you will.
In your case, it was an honest oversight, and not like you do this all the time, of course you would be mad as hell. You could have just done what your atm recommended. In the short term, that may assuage your api. But then over the long term, it may not be a good thing to be on bad terms with your neighbour.
Shish, those guards are irritating, I mean, basically, I’m sure you pay building maintainence and thus their salary and still so ma huan one..your neighbours also one kind.. teruk!!! How rude and unneighbourly!!!
ATM is right.Just leave it there.
pretend like the car died. and get down to collect yr card. teach them a lesson.
Like terence, i wld hv done wht atm said. off my engine, then with an attitude, ‘gelek’ go & ‘gelek’ come back with the card. Now that will be fun !:-D
That’s why these people will stuck at the same level and become guard forever. Remember to complain to the management, in case those jokers go scratch your car.
aiya..sabar la..one of those days. Maybe he couldn’t get his dick up that day? so..he take it out on everyone? HAHAHA…..if ciao-ciao is limp, the man will act big.
(I was talking abt the neighbour! MUA HA HA HA HA!!!)
lil’..bukak cermin ambik M16, mow down everyone…the guards, the blardy neighbours and the cilakak cilakak yang sewaktu dengannya..
i can imagine how tulan izit to be sandwiched by those sons of the kaninaboo..
ok ok i got carried away…*zip mulot*
Yeh, i’ll leave it ther, then to rub it in somore, knock on all those cars windows and tell them u’re going up to ur apartment to geddit. and just walk off…..
WoahH!
You really should’ve died your engine and walked off whistling!
Really cilaka guards!!!
G-laka jaga pintu saja, employ by the owner of the apartment ?
Their $ all paid from the maintenance fees by the owner. Should complaint and removed from the site (apartment) immediately. Somemore Act like BKit Aman – DNM the guard
peeples – I am on blogging marathon right now so brb soon. I want to see how long I can go before I go piang from exhaustions of writing 24 posts at one go. (not all are paid posts lah, just need to slot unpaid posts in between). I take it as a personal challenge. Go Menj go, see if I can overtake you yet or not. Muahahahar…
I will … in fact I did. But of course it was the other way round. I was going in and did not have the “STICKER” but I was only sending someone home safely in the middle of the night after 12.
When I got back to my car the guard threatened me with a stick and I said go ahead and make my day. He didn’t.
My old car was filled with scratches front to back everytime I visited my friend and one fine day it ended in a fight with 2 guards and 3 residents and of course the police station.
I was told that my chances were slim by the inspector due to the fact that one of the guards had a big black eye and I didn’t. Lucky thing I didn’t drive right into the guardhouse 🙂
Moral of the story … it’s pays to have a crappy beat up car for moments like this. Of course I stopped doing all that when I got a new car.
toxicle – Hahaha, did I tell you I know your real name? Hehehe, but I think I forget already. Scared of you lor….
wai-ka – Yalor, all the other guards, they very cincai with us. Come Chinese New Year or other festivals, we usually ‘feed’ them well one. But these two buggers, baru take over, want treat me like a criminal like that.
Huei – I real life so chicken mah, I sure dare not make big scene like that lor. But if that was my hubby, habis lah.
Samm – Aiyor…I no guts wan lah.
astrosurge – Yalor, now I am contemplating calling the Health Dept. and plant denggue larvae into my neighbour lotus pond already. Hahaha. Only problem is I dunno where to find denggue larvaes. LOL.
mott – Niasing betul, muka like mat rempit oni wanna belagak polis.
moo_t – Yalor, when I tell them, my tone and face really snide them, to make sure they rasa their guard level.
Suzy – I where got so berani. Hehehe, but the fact that I was going to church maybe make me a little tame oni lah. Hahaha, cannot make too much fuss and then, alim-alim go church, like that so wrong moral mah.
sasha – Yalor, my atm told me to do that on the phone when I called him. I takut lah.
QV – These buggers think they own the bumi mah. Hahaha.
Caprice – They really a pain in the arse ‘cos it is not our fault that we don’t have the card. The management only issue one card per house so it is so hard to get in and out.
budokid – Hehehe, that’s why some car got dented before cos they think women are easy to bully.
David – Yalor, all the other guards never do such thing wan. Only these two buggers.
Annie – I do? But I am not rich like Lillian Too wor. And I don’t have three husbands like her too.
terence – Haiyor, I almost want to bang the tiang down and then, cabut go find my favourite insurance adjuster and see need to make police report or not. But lucky lah, I good mood cos I was *trying* to be holy. Hahaha.
pelf – Now I pass by the neighbour house, I sure pijak his grass till mati. He got this nicely renovated apartment and garden (on the public area) and I always tell my kid not to step on those grass. Now, ask them go kencing LOL.
olivia – The guards were challenging me and hoping I would retaliate, stupid buggers won’t get the joy of seeing me naik marah.
Did you know I know your name too 😛
My name is not a mystery. 99% of the people who knows me knows my name 🙂
Hmm … Lilian Too got 3 husbands ah? How wealthy of her.