If this happens to us, we just buy a new one. But the TV is the sole entertainment for John.
His face was all crooked yesterday when he hobbled up to me in church. Usually, it takes great difficulty for him to talk as he is physically and mentally disabled. You can see that he has to muster every muscles and strength to say something that we can hear.
“My TV got curi”
If I am right, the TV and two years Astro subscription was provided by a charitable organisation, SVDP. But John is a young man with a lot of pride. Two months ago, I asked him if I can ask the SVDP to find financial help to renew the Astro subscription for him (as I was beginning to feel the pinch of monthly fees). He got mad with me and walked away like a sulky child. Apparently, he did not want charitable help and want to earn a living on his own (which is rather difficult).
But yesterday, he gave me a cheeky grin and said he cannot live without his TV and radio. As our parish priest happened to be around, I seek John’s permission and asked the priest for help.
What I learnt from knowing John in these last few months are :
1) treat everyone with the same respect
2) no one likes charitable help
he will accept help from Angie&Bart , other people he knows and I (albeit minor ones) because he sees us as his friends but receiving things from charitable organisations without the personalised touch must have made him feel helpless.
More of John
and where he stays.
Well, considering where John stays, theft is not uncommon so no point getting angry with ‘What is becoming of the world’ kinda frustrations. And John does have problems getting around. The last time when I was at his place, he misplaced the key and hence, he couldn’t come out of his flat.
There are lots of Johns around us who may be waiting for our friendship and personalised help. I am just glad that John places his trust on me and turn to me when he needs help. I hope he gets his TV soon as it is difficult for him to move around. Hmmm…Bart, should we introduce John to the world of blogging? (John can read and write, amazing.)
Oh ya, the next time you hand out a ringgit or two to help others, remember to do it with a smile and a look into their eyes. They worth more than the money.
A very touching post, Lilian. I read your posts about John before, but your post got me reading them again.
Fishtail, Whenever I get too carried away with life and its pleasures, I just need to touch base with John to remind me to count my blessings and learn the meaning of love.
I must have made a mistake. I posted something long, probably in one of your linked stories of John and found my comments were being moderated. NVM, I post here. I apologise for the length. I know I could blog about it, but I feel the story I have to tell somehow belongs here. Hope you don’t mind.
Lilian, you’re so damn right that we feel uneasy around special people. Years ago, as part of pre-baptism preparations, me and my fellow candidates (RCIA) did a charity project. I led the group to raise funds and organise a Christmas party for about 20 mentally retarded people. These special people (male and female) ranged from adolescents to middle age and lived in this home run by nuns in Bukit Nenas. Their disability was so severe, they had all been abandoned in childhood.
Anyway, we brought plenty of food, gifts, balloons and singing. I even secretly paid out of my own pocket for a magician. We could tell by the smiles on their faces, it was a very special day for them. It was rare for them to have visitors. They were so happy. They showed their appreciation by singing us a song of how, though badly broken, they were extra special to God, and God hadn’t given up on them. God was still working on them, they said. What awesome trust, hope and faith.
Came makan time, I shocked myself by slinking away to a corner. I just could not bring myself to get close to them, touch them, much less feed them. It felt like they represented a suffering too terrible to get close to. Helpless at my own lack of courage but disgusted, I wept quiet tears of shame.
Later, when the group shared the experience with our facilitators, I felt the shame afresh. No one knew where I went, they assumed I was doing something useful. They all told of their sense of priviledge and joy at feeding those special people, cleaning them, and holding them. While they were enriched by the experience, I was impoverished by my own asshole-ness. And at the end of it all, everyone praised my leadership of a successful project. I never felt so disgusted with myself. Everyone said their Christmas was extra special because we’d remembered those less fortunate than us. It was my worst Christmas ever.
Thanks for posting this story of John, Lilian. Finally, I found a way to ‘confess’ my sin of 12 or 13 years ago. Although, technically, all sins before baptism are automatically forgiven at Baptism, I still feel in need of forgiveness for my lack of humanity, then.
Hi Percolator
What happened was – in my earlier blog, the comments were moderated whereby I got to read them first before the public eyes. So, if anyone flame me, I kill them before they get on the web. LOL. Your comment earlier was still there.
As for the assiholiness, archerly hor, it is the Lord’s working. I also want to stay far away from them because I really don’t know how to react. But somehow, John seems to open up a part of me I never realise. I am such a sweetie, and saintly too. Kehkehkeh. Really, I can now interact with John without noticing anything funny on his part. I can understand his words. Sometimes, when I noticed he got all down and sad at mass, I would put my hands on his shoulder and ask him to try to forgive some people. He does have his share of hardships but he is one great fighter.
And it is utterly wicked when I got down to gossip with him. ‘Cos he would tell me how some people treat him. And these are those people whom we look up to for their generousity and charitable acts. Once, I was very sad with being look down by a church senior. And after a chat with John, I learnt that the guy is as bad to John as well.
I guess at the end of the day, it is how our conscience feels that matters.