A grace filled Lent

Tell me, which boss consulted everyone about firing you but did not even talk to you about accusations she heard? Well, that was what I get. A Whatsapp to ask me to resign. Not a private one but to a whole group about some baseless accusations.

So began Lent. A period of 40 days in the desert. A boss who put you on public persecution based on what she claimed she heard. Told to you through third parties.

I am much too dignified to embroil myself with emotional woman. So the obstinate me put on my obstinate mode to fight it out. By remaining silent. If there is no God and if there is no Christ, I would have kicked up a fuss. But I remind myself with Psalm 56.

In God, whose word I praise,
in the Lord, whose word I praise—
11 in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can man do to me?

But I chose to remain silent and took up the matter to the highest office. I got no time to debate with someone who cannot even speak the truth. Someone who flung all sorts of accusations.

I told the big boss. I am not resigning because if I do so, it will give the woman the chance to throw even more lies against me. Moreover, times are challenging ahead and I will want to be part of the waves to go against the injustice that enveloped us.

How do you feel when 20 people spent an hour throwing all sorts of accusations against you? In your absence! Then the woman started to get everyone on her side. Dude, I am not even your equal, I am merely a lower rank staff. I am what I am because that’s how I am. IF I am more famous than you, I can’t help it. Even MPs asked, “Lilian’s boss? Who? A woman?”

I could feel so Jesus-y at that moment. Like Jesus doodling on the grounds kinda scene. So, if there is a Lent that I will remember, it is this one. How turning to the Lord is what kept me what I am. Let the other woman rant, plot, gossip, telling more lies and such because I will just tralalala doing nothing.

Of course, the core of Christianity is forgiveness. IF I dont have that in my heart, they would all get my laser tongue. I am a much better debater because I live by principles and I know right from wrong. So, yeah, I kept silent. For over a month.

So, I applied for leave for Good Friday. And I also submit my hospitalisation forms. She refused to sign. Never mind, throw it by the door like those are pieces of rubbish. Never mind, I take it to the higher department. And I asked an innocent question – Why didnt she sign my religious leave? How come she can sign unrecorded leave on the same day I was in hospitalised MC for three of her staff? So how now, brown cow? Is it also my fault that the higher office knows about it?

I am a drama queen. I am a social media queen. I can write things and convince eskimos to buy fridge, ok? I could have abused all that but I kept it quiet. Because I am much more matured than the one who screamed about sacking me, asking everyone else to take sides to say Yes or No.

I am so disgusted when new staff who are clueless were asked to speak against me. You know…like Pontius Pilate looking for people to scream Cruficy Him? And they laughed like a pack of hyenas when a new staff said “I am shocked. I do not know what to say.” Those laughs make me sick to the stomach. What kind of heartless people are you?

So I went through 47 days with that sort of nonsense every day. Do I feel sad? At one point, when a few people messaged me they are worried about me. I did almost break into tears. Not because I fear for my job. My husband can feed me, I don’t need the salary. Everyone knows that, that Lilian work for her belief that she can change people’s perception with her words But I was so touched that many that I didn’t expect contacted me.

To those who are unsure, yes, you have all been lied to. When she said, Dia panggil saya cibai x 3 times….as if I scolded her in person or to others, I did not. It is nothing like how she had lied to all of you. I had kept quiet because I wanted to be sure.

Now, I am sure. There is no such thing. Thats why I challenged her to show proof, lodge a formal complaint where I said it, whom did I say it, how I said. Give me a formal showcause letter. I will deal with that. In truth, I DID NOT speak to her at all nor did I verbally shouted at her or even to another person.

Stations of the Cross had been so meaningful to me. I actually am lucky to know that I can focus on God more. I have more time. Like I told the youths in the camp, praise the Lord for this incident. I learn what tough cookie I am. I learn what Jesus means about turning the left cheek, right cheek. I discover total surrender, inner peace, trusting in the Lord and best of all, know who are your friends and who are the chaffs.

Finally, Lent is over. The time in the desert is over. Christ is Risen. And so will I. Now I have said this in public, I hope all will not be misled like I had killed someone’s grandma. I was being abused by people who abused her power. I took it silently because kicking up a big drama earlier when I was very angry will have repercussion on the whole system. I stayed low because I care about the whole system. Now, I don’t care about any emotional woman. But I will stay faithfully as a servant to the system.

So yeah, finally Lilian speakth. Even a few of my close friends did not know about it.